Blessed Be Those Who Mourn
by mylilchickadee
Summary: Life is a series of meetings and partings. The same is true for a broken Team Seven. Three separate meetings, each told from three points of view.
1. Chapter 1: Two letter Word

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, wish I did.

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: 1) Takes place sometime after chapter 281. Except I'm ignoring Yamato and Sai because I don't really have a handle on them, and they're irrelevant to this story. Heh. Also, sort of ignoring the "spy". Just assume this is sometime later and that Team 7 went to look for Sasuke.  
2)This is a semi-linear story. There is a plot, but it's told in a different way. Three points of view (Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura) on three seperate meetings. Meaning there is some crossover of story between chapters. Just warning you.  
3)Sorry, but you may find some characters a little OOC. I try not to, but I'm putting my own ideas, opinions and hopes into them and the story's made up, so it's bound to happen. I'm planning on ten chapters at most, but depending on how this goes and how good my focus is, it may change.  
Anyway, I hope you give it a shot and at least enjoy it a little.

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

Two-Letter Word

Sunlight beamed down brightly through the wisps of clouds that insisted on remaining in the sky. It warmed his body and tickled the skin that peeked out from the hem of his pants and sleeves of his jacket as he lay haphazardly in the grass. Though they sat quietly, likely in deference to his unusual sour mood, he knew they were there, could feel the presence of those he knew so well.

At any other time, a day like this would have lifted his spirits. He would have enjoyed it in the company of his teammates, no, his family, as they traveled, maybe taking a bit of time away to spar and sweat and reach that point of healthy exhaustion. At any other time, he'd have basked in the warmth of the sun, drinking every last bit into himself. But on this day, the warmth did not reach his inside and the light went purposely unnoticed. All he saw right now was darkness, his eyes closed to that light, with a forearm draped over them as an added measure. He didn't want to see the beauty of the day that betrayed him. An angry sigh left the mouth that held a frown he didn't even realize he was wearing.

He wasn't here now, in this clearing, with these people. He was back in the morning, trapped in the recent memories held there, trying to figure out just where he'd gone wrong.

The whole affair had robbed him of a little bit of hope, a little bit of determination, in essence, a little bit what made him, him. It didn't feel right. He didn't like it.

His frown deepened.

What was going on? He was sure, absolutely sure, that when they finally met up again, he'd be able to fulfill the promise he'd made so long ago. After all the time gone by, he was sure he'd be able to make things right again, repairing the wrongs of the past. But fate had other plans apparently.

Wait. Fate?

Since when did he believe in fate? What was he thinking? He didn't believe in such things! He believed in making your own way, writing your own future. He was the misfit who would be Hokage. Everyday he proclaimed it, fought for it, believed it to the very depth of his being and nothing could persuade him otherwise. And he'd proved all those doubters wrong, hadn't he? It was promised to him now, and that was almost the same thing, wasn't it? He'd broken his so-called fate. He knew it could be done, that things could change, so why? Why had everything turned out so wrong? Was there such thing as fate after all? No. That wasn't it. So where has all this doubt come from? It wasn't him, wasn't him at all. And he didn't like it.

In that instant, he had felt the same as he had in that empty valley when his friend had tried to kill him. Alone, defeated. Incapable of doing even the simplest thing right. It shouldn't be so hard to return something back to its proper place.

The feeling was uncomfortable, made him feel outside himself.

It wasn't him.

And he didn't like it.

Were promises really so hard to keep? Was his ninja way really so fragile?

No, that wasn't it. It couldn't be.

He knew that line of thinking was wrong. He could change things. He could keep his promises. That's just who he was. A little hyperactive, a little clumsy, a little loud? Yeah, sure, maybe. But he was also loyal, determined and proud. A person who could be relied on no matter what the circumstances, he'd always come through. He'd never once truly doubted that before. Sure, two and a half years ago he'd come close to questioning it. But only briefly. Certainty returned swiftly, and because it was so important, it came back that much stronger.

But now, after this, he felt that doubt again, gnawing like some hungry little insect at his subconscious. This was not who he was.

And he didn't like it.

It was all the fault of the morning, it was to blame. He'd waited so long for that morning to come. Rehearsed it over and over in his head so many times, knowing exactly what he'd say, exactly what he'd do. Imagined how he'd finally be able to fulfill that promise. How he'd at last be able to assuage a little of the guilt that haunted him. Envisioned how he'd be able to prove that he could in fact be a good and true friend. The scene would replay itself nearly everyday, deep in the recesses of his mind. It was not nagging or obsessive, just a gentle reminder of what he didn't want to forget. Not that he ever could.

The reality, however, had turned out to be quite different. In every way he could have possibly imagined.

He let out a small, frustrated sigh and rolled to his side. Forearms met face as his back curled into a fetal position. Slowly, his eyes opened a sliver, allowing a bit of that cruel light to touch his weary senses. If he was to face the failure, he'd have to face the day. His mouth parted slightly as he whispered so softly that he was certain to be the only one to hear.

"Bastard."

* * *

Their fateful meeting, as it turned out, was about far from what he expected as it could possibly be. He'd always imagined their reunion in fighting, a great clash of power, dotted with shouts and angry insults. Or maybe he'd just find himself dragging the missing-nin's sorry ass back to Konoha after a devastating battle with that snake Orochimaru. At the very least, he though it would be somewhere in the deep recesses of the Land of Sound. Not in some quiet, no-name village in the middle of nowhere. And certainly not in a ramen bar. 

The day had begun the same as many others. The remaining members of Team 7 awoke and, gathering their things, took another step towards their goal. It was a beautiful day, clear and warm with a slight breeze that prevented it from becoming too hot. The group had been thankfully left alone by the Akatsuki, who after the abduction of Gaara, had turned their attention to demons other than the Nine-tails. It was a blessed respite from constant attack, allowing most of Team 7's time to be spent in blissful peace. Undisturbed. Quiet. Secure. In a word, boring.

Not that Naruto was complaining. Not at all. It's just that having no one to fight meant he had nothing to do. Well, he still trained when he could, but it wasn't quite the same. On the other hand, not having some group of crazed, power-hungry missing-nins chase you everywhere did have its upside. For one, it meant they'd get the chance to stay at an inn instead of the middle of some forest. And he'd finally be able to sleep in a nice cozy bed instead of on some nasty jagged rock that managed to poke him in the back no matter what way he turned.

But most important of all, he thought to himself as he walked through the sleepy little town with a goofy grin plastered on his face, he'd get the chance to eat something good rather than whatever it was Kakashi decided to feed them. This "something", of course, was ramen.

His stomach grumbled as the mere thought of his favorite food floated through his ration numbed mind. "Ramen, ramen, ramen," he sang out loudly, earning him some strange glances from the local folk. He didn't seem to notice, though. Instead, his grin widened as he quickened his pace, all the while singing some new ramen devotion song he'd just made up.

Guided by his acute nose to an establishment specializing in said ramen, his smile, if possible, grew even wider until settling into his trademark fox grin. He walked through the entrance of the restaurant and just as he was about to let out one last joyous call for an order of his favorite dish, he stopped cold. A sense of complete familiarity overcame him. Not expecting such a pull in such a place, he found himself frozen, and for once, utterly without words. Chakra signature notwithstanding, and even with the passage of time, he would have recognized that figure anywhere. He could already see in his mind's eye the face of the raven-haired teen who sat at the bar facing away from him. His frame was a little taller, his hair a little longer, but even so, there was not a doubt in Naruto's mind as to the boy's identity.

The fox boy was suddenly struck dumb. Before him sat the person he'd wanted to see, the one person he really felt a connection with. His throat grew dry and scratchy, his muscles stiff and heavy. Naruto felt his mind instantly swimming with a million different thoughts until he began to feel a bit dizzy. Swallowing hard, he desperately tried to calm his strangely overactive nerves.

Many things tumbled through his mind in a second that seemed like eternity, as the object of interest slowly turned his head to look curiously over his shoulder at him. Naruto stood strangely motionless in the doorway. Empty black eyes met the deepest of blue as the world seemed to go silent. An all too familiar smirk graced the pale boy's lips.

"Long time no see," came a voice lower and colder than memory served. "Dobe."

"Sasuke . . . "It was the only word he managed to squeak from his suddenly mute lips. _What the Hell!_ He'd spent all that time, thinking, planning, and now that he was finally faced with the person he'd been seeking all this time, all he could say was his name. He, the Number One Loudmouth Ninja! How many times was it that he was told he didn't know how to keep his mouth shut and now that it mattered most he could think of nothing to say? What the fuck was wrong with him?

The smirk on the dark-haired boy's face deepened with just the slightest touch of confusion tinting his eyes. Not so much that your average person would notice, but to Naruto, who knew him so well, it couldn't be any more obvious. He wished he knew what Sasuke was thinking, and moreover what he could possibly do or say to seal the rift that had been torn between them.

The missing-nin turned to fully face the blond with his elbow still resting gently on the bar. Naruto numbly noticed a big bowl of ramen that had been allowed to cool, relatively untouched.

"What's the problem, Uzamaki? Never known you to be at a loss for words. At least not for unintelligent ones anyway."

With a start, he came to his senses. The familiar biting words, that nasty look, it brought him back in time and suddenly he found himself once again a twelve-year-old outcast trying to sputter out insults. "H-hey, you bastard! Who do you think you are? Like you're one to talk. Yeah right. The great Uchiha Sasuke. What the hell's so special about you? Other than the fact that you've still managed to walk around with that stick stuck so far up your ass?"

He sneered defiantly at his best friend, thrilled that he was quick enough to think of an adequate, if typical, retort. Caught in his adolescent memories, he temporarily forgot the gravity of the situation he was currently in.

By now, the exchange had garnered the attention of nearly everyone in the bar, as they took what they hoped were inconspicuous sidelong glances at the pair. Neither boy seemed to register or care that they had somehow become the focus of attention.

Naruto saw his old friend's expression almost . . soften? What was that about? What kind of idiot became less angry when insults were thrown at him?

"Whatever you say, dobe."

"Tch!" Ever the clever wit, Naruto stuck out his tongue before screwing his face into his typical anti-Sasuke scowl. Arms crossed childishly over his chest, he attempted to glare his friend down, predictably losing miserably. How easy it had been to fall back into their childhood, assuming their old familiar roles. Despite the fact that they were once again fighting, Naruto found he rather enjoyed the 'old camaraderie'. He was almost ready to ask his old sparring partner for a friendly bout in the woods, just like the ones they used to fight in times that were more innocent. With the memories of all the good (and bad) days they'd spent together as Team 7 running circles in his head, he let the edge of his mouth quirk up with just the hint of a smile. He all but lost himself to the hazy sweet before.

But such solace was short-lived.

With a pang, he realized just how much he'd missed those old days. If only he could go back, he'd be sure to do things right, and save his friend before he fell over the edge. He made a secret futile wish that this little slip back into time was real, that it could last, that they could go back to their early genin days. As if no time had passed and nothing had changed.

As if one friend had never betrayed the other.

Reality hit him like a blow to the ribs as the truth flooded back. The boyhood pout slowly faded from his face. His eyes lowered to stare at the ground as his body seemed to melt into misery. No matter how much he'd wished that tragedy had never happened, it had, and would weigh over any exchange the two would ever make. He was furious with Sasuke for everything he'd done, part of him just wanted to pummel the bastard into the ground until he was good and bloody. But another part, a greater part, was filled with regret, seasoned with the bitter taste of guilt. During their battle, when he was so encompassed by the shame of being blind to how much pain his supposed best friend was in, he was almost willing to let Sasuke kill him. Since that time, part of him always questioned just which one was really to blame for the tragic events of that day. That same nagging part also wondered which friend was the real traitor. When he raised his eyes to once again meet those of his old friend, they had a lost, almost faraway look to them. He looked at Sasuke, but he didn't see him. He was really gazing back at a time that had passed.

"Sasuke . . ." he spoke in a voice that couldn't possibly be his own. "Why did you leave?"

He saw his friend's intensely dark eyes narrow, though the expression remained the same cold detached one as before. But Naruto knew him well enough to know that he was bothered by the unexpected change of topic. He again couldn't help but want to know what was really going through Sasuke's mind right now.

"We've already been through this."

"Yeah."

Absently rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, Naruto looked askance at the teen who quietly sat regarding him. This time he really tried to see him as he was now and not as he was then. This new Sasuke that somehow wore the mask of the old Sasuke. It almost felt like he had just walked out of Naruto's memory, but the reality of the present made this image seem off. The fox boy squirmed a little, uncomfortable in the presence of someone he no longer knew. No, that wasn't quite right. Looking at his friend, he could still feel the pull. No matter what changed, what passed between them, this boy would always be his best friend. Beyond a doubt, when he looked into those impossibly black eyes, he could see it. Below the surface was the real Sasuke, desperate to hide himself from the world. The Sasuke that he had known. Looking deeper still, he could even make out the shadowy remnants of the child that once was. The boy that sat before him was a lie. It pissed him off. He really hated making this long awaited meeting with a stranger.

It was then that Naruto suddenly realized he didn't much care anymore why Sasuke had left. It was an old argument from a different time and place that no longer held any real significance for him. Now, at this moment in time, all he wanted was to have his best friend back.

His patience snapped.

"Why are you being so damn stubborn!"

"What are you talking about," was the quiet, flat reply.

"You-you bastard!" Relying on old tactics, Naruto rushed up, grabbing Sasuke by the collar. There were things about his old friend he understood well, but others that still confounded him. He could see why Sasuke had felt compelled to leave to some extent, though not why he went to Orochimaru. But there was no way Naruto could ever understand why he'd choose to _stay_. Blue searched black, searching for something, anything that showed the real Sasuke was listening. "Why are you staying with that snake! For power? From a creep who can't even beat your brother? How exactly is that gonna help anything? You'll never win that way. There are always other options, idiot! Did you ever even bother to look? Were you too possessed by your curse to think straight? Or are you just that stupid? I mean, how can you agree to something like this? At this rate, that snake will be taking over your body soon. And then, even if he could manage to beat Itachi, assuming he'd care, it would be him doing it, not you. Exactly how is that getting vengeance? And what about restoring your clan! For a supposed 'genius', you're about the dumbest person I've ever met!"

Sasuke watched him with an utterly bored expression. "I'm looking at the dumbest person."

"What is wrong with you!" Ignoring the insult, Naruto was nearing his breaking point, barely able to control the boiling rage that welled up within him. The feeling inside him made him vaguely wonder if this is how Sasuke felt all the time. Remembering the rage thrown at him the last time they met, Naruto felt an ache, thinking how burdensome it must be to carry that type of hate everywhere you went. And his desire to save his friend swelled along with his anger.

"You. Are. Not. Sasuke. I don't know who the hell you are, but you're not Sasuke. Sure, you may look the same, speak the same. But I'm not as stupid as people think, you know. You- you're just a shell. An illusion you wear to make the real Sasuke feel better about himself." Naruto yanked him closer till mere inches separated their faces. He'd make the real Sasuke listen to him, if he had to shove the words down his throat. Breathing ragged, he spat out, "Tell me. Is it working?"

Something unknown flickered in the dark eyes before they settled back into their cold, expressionless façade.

"Get your hands off me."

His voice sounded cold and sharp like audible ice, biting into Naruto's ears. He absently felt a quick shove against his chest, causing him to momentarily lose his grip on the shirt and Sasuke took this chance to free himself. Turning, the missing-nin headed to the exit.

For a second, the fox boy just stood there, his hand holding air as the other meant to disappear from his life. Had he really seen nothing in those dark eyes?

"Stop."

It was a near silent plea.

But the benighted boy heard it. And stopped.

"You have to come back to Konoha."

Silence.

The blue-eyed teen lifted his head, locking their gaze on the shadow that was his closest friend. He had to make Sasuke understand that he could come home. No, that they _wanted_ him to come home. He didn't know how to put into words just how much he'd missed him. It just sounded cheesy. True, he did kind of want to beat the shit out of the moron, but that could wait until later, until after Sasuke came home. Now was a time for persuasion, not alienation.

"We've been waiting for you, you know. All this time. That's why I'm here. Why _we're_ here. We were sent to bring you back. Konoha's still there for you. I know it won't be easy, but you're not alone anymore." He wanted Sasuke to see there were people who cared and would stand by him, people who'd help release him from his solitude. Naruto felt a little silly when ticking things off a list, but right now it's all he had. "Sakura-chan came too, she hasn't given up yet. Even Kakashi-sensei's here. We were sent by Tsunade-bachan, so there's nothing to worry about. I know she'll let you back in . . ."

A short, derisive scoff cut off anything further he meant to say.

"So what? Is that supposed to mean something? You really think they'd just embrace a traitor? Tch! You really are naive, Naruto."

"If you want to think that, go ahead. But at least I'm not some stupid selfish bastard."

"Hn." Sasuke raised his head to the sky as if he were looking for something. The fox boy waited as his old friend stood strangely passive in the doorway, hoping that something had gotten through that thick skull of his.

"There's nothing there for me."

Apparently, so far he'd failed.

"Are you even listening? Your family is Konoha." Naruto's fists clenched painfully against the answering silence. It was as if they were back in the Valley of the End, locked in another epic battle, only this time all the scars they wore were hidden. This could not be happening. Not again. "And what about me? What about your best fucking friend! Or was that just another lie? You can't do this! Not after all this time. I believed in you, you asshole. After so many people gave up. I've held on these past two and a half years. I'm not letting go now. I'm not gonna let you leave again. It isn't fair. I made a promise, you know. To Sakura-chan. I promised to bring you back. But it wasn't just for her that I made that promise. It was for me, too."

Naruto had to make Sasuke believe; make him understand just how much he meant to him. He had _one_ best friend, _one_ brother, _one_ whatever-their-connection-was, and nobody else could ever fill that place. He wanted to make him see just how much he'd missed him and the unnamable thing they still shared. But to do this, he first had to reach the real Sasuke, who dwelled deep down somewhere inside this stranger.

"But it was also for you. Well, for the person you really are, anyway. 'Cause this isn't it, Sasuke. You may like to think it is, calling yourself an 'avenger', wallowing in your self-pity, trying to convince yourself that this is what you want. But I know you better that that. I don't know where you got your fucked up idea of self, but this isn't you. And I think somewhere in that stupid head of yours, you know that. None of this is gonna make you happy. And none of it's gonna make things right. You need to come back to Konoha – to where you belong."

"Tch. You always did talk too much."

"Maybe. But I'm still right"

Sasuke inclined his head ever so slightly as if he wanted to look back, but couldn't. Nearly every eye in the place was focused on him, as anxious as Naruto to hear the reply to his impassioned plea. Naruto was certain he must be turning blue from holding his breath for so long. From the corners of his eyes, he could see the customers watching as if the boys were playing out a scene in some sort of strange street performance. There was a moment of impatient silence before the show once again resumed.

"You realize of course Uzamaki, that you're asking all this from a person you've just called a stranger."

"That's kinda the point, isn't it?"

Impressed by his own insight, a small smile spread across Naruto's lips. But the smile somehow made him too comfortable, brought with it too many memories of smiles he'd once shared with the teammate he'd lost. There had to be something more he could do, some way to convince his friend that what he was saying was right. Naruto could feel him pulling away. He could sense that same loss as from years ago, only more palpable this time since now it had a name. As he stood in Sasuke's silence, a sharp pain choked his throat. As if acting without permission, his mouth opened and let out his voice.

"Please . . ."

It sounded pathetic, even to his ears, but he couldn't stop it.

"Please come home with me."

Sasuke made no answer. No indication that he'd even heard. But the still quiet that had overtaken the bar left no doubt in Naruto's mind that he had. He hadn't wanted to sound so weak, but he was feeling the same as when Kakashi had carried him home from the Valley of the End. Back then he was nearly overwhelmed with the weight of some tremendous guilt. After all that had been said and done that day, he couldn't help but wonder if he was the only one who'd really felt friendship with his teammate.

Or was it the other way around?

Maybe he, Uzamaki Naruto, had never shown real friendship for the Uchiha prodigy. Maybe if he had, none of this would be happening now. Maybe if he'd just stopped in his petty rivalry for one damn second, he would have seen the truth behind those placid eyes. Maybe he would have seen how isolated and alone Sasuke felt, how he carried sorrow and anger with every step he took. A small part of Naruto hated himself for not bothering to really look before it was too late. But he shoved that thought aside, instead straightening his back and holding firm to his resolve. This was not the time to worry over the errors of the past. Right now, right here, he had one goal and couldn't allow himself to stray.

A long, tense silence stretched before them like a shroud. Naruto squeezed his eyes closed as if he could somehow change Sasuke's mind through sheer force of will. Then an odd sound filtered through the room, reaching Naruto's ears. It was soft, melancholy, and somewhat . . . resigned? The fox boy's heart leapt in his chest. Maybe some part of what he so desperately wanted to convey had reached its destination. He wanted so badly for Sasuke to understand . . .everything. Turning his body to fully face the silhouette of his friend, he dared to hope. The black-clad teen had slouched his shoulders; head lowered in a distinctly unSasuke-like stance. Something had changed, though Naruto didn't know what it was. He saw his best friend slowly raise his head; take a deep breath, as if readying himself for a major decision. Naruto took a bold step forward, reaching, certain that he'd hear the words he'd waited so long to hear. Anticipation and hope rose up and surrounded him as he started to believe.

"No."

What?

Without a glance back, Sasuke walked from the bar and vanished into the street, breaking Naruto's heart for the second time.

A heavy pall fell over the normally cheery ramen bar, as the play unexpectedly ended. The nervous gestures and shocked murmurs of the customers took place somewhere far from where Naruto stood. Even these strangers couldn't believe the outcome of such an emotional exchange.

_No?_ The word tumbled through his mind like some vicious spiked wheel intent on destroying his psyche.

No. This couldn't be happening. This isn't how things were supposed to go. It was all wrong. Maybe he should have apologized for failing him as a friend. Though he doubted he would be met with anything but derision if he had. Maybe he should have thrown away his pride and got down on his knees and begged. Though he probably would have only been kicked and laughed at. Maybe he should have just unleashed Kyuubi and let the damn fox demon take care of everything. Then at least he was sure to win. He was stronger than he was the last time they fought.

Or was he?

If he was so strong, why couldn't he make Sasuke believe the one simple thing that was so painfully true? Did he still not understand his best friend, even after all this time?

No, that wasn't right...

Naruto knew Sasuke better than he knew himself. Sasuke wanted to return. He knew it, had felt it leaking out of every pore of the missing-nin. So why had he said no? Why? Why was everything wrong? How could he fail . . . again?

_And why the hell was he just standing there!_

Hand outstretched, jaw dropped open, that one simple reply had turned him into a twisted statue of himself. Who knew a two-letter word could hurt so much? Everything felt wrong. The situation was wrong. Sasuke's answer was wrong. But what bothered him most was that HE was wrong. Just standing there, doing nothing, watching like it was someone else's life that was crumbling. This was not the way Naruto behaved.

He felt wrong.

And he didn't like it.

His face screwed up into the form of his pain as the awareness of his surroundings returned. All the eyes he felt trying so hard not to stare made him feel like some sort of exotic animal on display.

And he realized he wasn't hungry anymore.

* * *

On the grass of the clearing, Naruto lay uneasy as he sighed into his hands. He felt a failure, like the useless outcast that the people of Konoha so often said he was. Why hadn't he been able to do anything when Sasuke just walked away? He just stood there, staring instead of chasing, mute instead of shouting. He should have done something, but he didn't and he couldn't figure out why. 

He saw himself again as he did they day of their separation. Bathed in the overwhelming guilt that told him that he had never been a true friend, and never even tried to understand this person he felt so close to. But so much had changed since then. He understood Sasuke so much more than he ever had before. This time should have been different. This time he should have been able to be the friend he wanted to be and reunite the shattered remains of Team Seven.

He still couldn't understand how it all had turned out this way. He felt himself slipping into a place he didn't like. There was a sudden clench in his chest that threatened to release the tear he held at the edge of his eye.

_NO!_

Without warning, he shot himself to his feet, opening his eyes wide to the sun and managing to get a surprised "yelp" from the pink-haired girl who sat across form him.

No. He refused this. He wouldn't cry over that bastard. Not yet. Not until he was good and ready. He was Uzamaki Naruto, dammit, and while some things about him had changed, he never was and never would be some weak, sniveling coward that gave up. With an effort, he swallowed back his tears and vowed to save them until he'd fulfilled his promise. He would not be shedding them now. With that one simple declaration of refusal, he felt he'd regained that which he'd lost. Who knew a two-letter word could give such strength? When he'd brought Sasuke back, then, and only then, would he allow himself to cry.

He'd be saving those tears for when he was happy.

Looking to the heavens, he reaffirmed his promise, if only to himself.

Sasuke had told him once, "We hurt because of our bonds". Without a trace of doubt, Naruto knew this to be the truth. That was what brought him pain on this day. But he held a connection to Sasuke that couldn't be severed, despite the Uchiha's efforts. There was no name for this thing they shared. It went beyond teammates, friends, or rivals, it went beyond even family. It was a tie hard won and all the more precious for it. And yes, sometimes it hurt. But he'd rather keep the pain than lose the bond.

He shouted to the sky as if it could somehow carry his message to its intended.

"You just wait Uchiha Sasuke! I'm Uzamaki Naruto! I have my own ninja way and I won't back down, especially to you! I'm bringing you home whether you like it or not!"

With a look of grim determination set to his face, he nodded, as if saying that had somehow decided something.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the amused smile on his team leader's hidden face.

Turning to the jounin, he put his arms behind his head and gave him the biggest, widest, most classic Uzamaki fox grin.

TBC. . .


	2. Chapter 2: An Unwelcome Heart

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto, still wish I did.

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: I just want to reiterate this is a very odd story. Three different meetings, each told from three points of view (Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura), meaning there's some crossover here, but less n later chapters.  
I'm trying, I really am. . .  
Please R&R

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

An Unwelcome Heart

Scowling at the offending nothing, the dark-haired boy found himself troubled by unwanted thoughts. He was always bothered when the wrong memories surfaced. He'd meant to leave them far behind, but they always managed to reappear in the most unexpected ways at the most inopportune times.

It was his own fault, he knew, though he'd never outwardly admit it. But such things were bound to happen. When you unwittingly chased memories, they tended to hunt you down. Leaning over the railing, he couldn't help but be insulted by the moon and sky. How dare it be such a beautiful evening when he was in such an ugly mood. It only served to spur his anger further.

The choice he'd made that time was right, his way carved out for him seven years ago when bathed in the moonlight of that cursed night. Maybe even in the time before when he was nothing but a darker shade of his brother's shadow. His life had always been shaped by the brother he no longer understood. Whenever he stopped to reflect on those long past days, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever known him at all. Was the kindly older brother he'd remembered from his childhood nothing but a cruel illusion? What had caused his idol to change? He found it hard to believe that Itachi was merely "testing his strength". It's a mystery that plagued him still, despite the fact he tried to focus on the crimes of his brother, rather than the motive.

Growling, he shook his head and with it dispensed his mind of questions he didn't like. There was no point to them.

His way, such as it was, had already been mapped out. It had been written in the blood of his family. So he drained his own heart of emotion in order to achieve his goal. After failing that first time, bawling like baby, standing useless in the light of the moon, there were no other options left for him. The only way to clear the shame of that inaction was to avenge the crime, cleansing the clan of its evil mistake. He was all that was left to carry this burden, and so he stood, stagnant, waiting in the darkness of that long ago night.

But when at last faced with his long missing brother, he'd been completely dominated like the weak pathetic child that had once stood in the shadow of death. After all that time, the training, the constancy of his devotion, to find himself lacking was unforgivable. It shouldn't have been like that, he should have been able to do something, instead of being so completely useless. He was forced to relive that sin from his childhood in more ways than one.

His weakness ate at him. All the more so because of the reasons for it.

There was no need for bonds in his life, no use for the pain they would surely bring. He'd had his fill of such sorrow years ago. He had no room for more. Such things only caused him to lose focus, falter from his path. So how had they wormed their way into a heart that had long ago been abandoned?

He hadn't fully realized what an affect they had on him until the defeat he'd received at the hands of his worst enemy. That loss had served as a reminder and an epiphany. His brother showed him just how little he'd grown, how little he meant.

Then that unseen knife twisted into his soul just a bit further when he realized that while he was not worth the effort, it seemed there was someone else who was. And just like that he'd been replaced in a role he never held. In all their time apart, he'd obsessed over a brother who hadn't even thought of him once.

In Itachi's eyes he was nothing but a piece of old trash to be tossed aside.

It hurt.

It hurt, to be left behind, left forgotten, while having all your worst fears confirmed. Fears he fought so hard to keep hidden behind a carefully laid veil of arrogance and conceit. Even when nothing but a little child, he was always lesser, the second thought considered only when in comparison to someone better. First it was his genius brother, and now it was his goofy teammate that held such amazing reserves of chakra that it caused the last of the Uchiha clan to be completely eclipsed.

And it hurt.

But things had changed since then, he was different now, stronger, and once again existing for one purpose and one alone. Never mind he his supposed "friends", they meant nothing. They had to. Believing otherwise would mean he was wrong. The decision he'd made was right because it had to be. There was no room in his narrowed life for error.

It was not something he normally needed to do, be reminded of his purpose. The absolute need to take vengeance on his brother was not a thing he questioned. If only it weren't for this day.

He silently cursed it.

There was no point to friends or home, and he'd made sure to cut off any hope of return long ago. So why had they even bothered to look for him? None of it even mattered to him anymore.

Or did it?

After the events of the morning, he saw a small part of his unwelcome heart disagreed. All the thoughts that churned through his mind irritated and confused him, as did the feelings they contained.

The doubt in his memory only unnerved him.

He could feel a familiar anger and frustration well up inside. He embraced it like a loyal lover. It was a thing easy to recognize and understand. All of a sudden, he swung his leg around, connecting with a chair and smashing it to pieces.

His breathing grew ragged and his sharingan flared, as it always did when emotions took over. It was pointless, he knew, the destruction of the chair, the release of anger. But it put him a little more at ease. Random physical violence always did. It was uncomplicated, base, required no thinking, relying only on instinct and the hotness of his temper. Sometimes he just needed to lose himself to that simplicity. Then he could block out the unnecessary emotions that plagued him. It gave him a semblance of control, a place to stand on in a life spinning wildly out beneath him.

How dare they make him remember things better left forgotten, feel things better left untouched! How dare that boy interrupt the constancy of his mind! He was an Uchiha, last of his clan, an avenger, a being with no need for gratuitous emotions like joy and regret. The sudden surge of feelings the day had brought up annoyed him still. He'd already pushed all such things from his hardened heart. Hate and determination were all that served him, all that remained.

Wasn't that right?

Quietly he swore to himself for allowing his mind to consciously question his resolve. All because of that damned fateful morning.

And it only irked him more that he'd brought it on himself.

* * *

The day had started out like so many others. Well, like so many others that were deemed safe enough to let him out of his cage, that is. Little reconnaissance missions like these were few and far between, and boring as hell, but at least they gave him the chance to get some fresher air. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm and he discovered he'd missed many of the things he'd once taken for granted. He uncharacteristically enjoyed the temperance of the day, but after so much time in darkness, anyone would find their attitudes shifting. At least on the minor things. It was a bit strange, but ultimately inconsequential, so he chose to accept the change and leave it at that.

He'd finally managed to lose that epitome of annoyance, a.k.a. Kabuto, after playing yet another tiresome game of cat and dog. He'd have sighed with relief, if that was the kind of thing he did. Even after two and a half years, the snake still didn't trust him completely, always sending his faithful lapdog as guard. But he was easy enough to ignore, like the buzzing of a fly, as Sasuke bided his time waiting for his chance to get away. All he ever wanted was a little peace from his self-created prison, a thing he could not do with that servant breathing on his neck.

These were never a big deal, these little escapes. He always came back. He had no other choice and they knew it. Yet still they insisted on playing this silly stupid game. Well, if they wanted to play, then he'd join in. That didn't mean, however, that he didn't find it extremely annoying.

The black-clad teen earned quite a few stares as he walked sullenly through the streets. What the hell was so fascinating, he'd like to know! He fought back the urge to spread a few glares around courtesy of the sharingan. His blood red swirling eyes would probably scare the hell out of these people, and it would serve them right. Of course, if he ever bothered to look in a mirror, the reason for the looks would be obvious. He cast quite the striking figure, like the dark of night dotted with the pale light of the moon at the few places his skinned showed through. And of course there were those eyes of his that somehow both threatened and seduced without him even trying.

Inwardly he sneered again.

What did they think, that he didn't notice all their eyes in him! It was extraordinarily annoying. But he kept the same impassive expression he'd schooled himself to wear since the time he was a young boy. Little did they see the boiling contempt held barely in check just below the surface.

Absentmindedly, a thin pale hand brushed a lock of hair from his face. He could feel an uncomfortably familiar sensation hidden somewhere within the streets of the no-name town. Without thinking, his feet carried him through those streets before coming to a stop, as if directed by some invisible guide. His eye twitched in hardly concealed ire as he took in the manner of building he now faced. Time after time, in his little moments of peace, he'd find himself standing before other such places without knowledge of how or why he had gotten there.

Well, he was a _little_ hungry. Knowing that no matter how he tried to argue with himself he'd end up inside anyway, he resigned himself to his fate and entered.

He silently took a seat at the bar and placed an order without thinking. It was an old exercise, played many times, town to town and day to day. When his food arrived, he picked at it a bit before deciding to take a tentative bite. As always, he found he didn't really care for the taste, and pushed it away uneaten without another thought. His irritation at himself somehow served to fill his stomach. So he sipped his slightly acrid cup of green tea, all the while quietly seething beneath his well-trained exterior. This same scene played it itself over every time he made one of his little escapes. He hated that noodle-broth-junk concoction before he ever arrived, hated it still more once he left, and yet it was to it that he returned again and again. He couldn't understand why he kept doing the same inexplicably stupid thing. It was highly annoying. Made even more so by the fact he was the one doing it.

As he sat for a bit delicately sipping his bitter drink, he put a great effort into making his mind blank. What he really needed peace from were his own disturbing thoughts. Just as he felt the sweet comfort of nothingness embrace him, his body stiffened at the affront of that same undesired recognition.

The presence tickled at the edge of his mind even before he heard the obnoxious voice, an amazing feat when one considered just how loud that presence was yelling. Well, it was more like a poor attempt at singing, but that was beside the point. Some things never change. When the presence entered oblivious, a fleeting hope flickered across Sasuke's mind: maybe he wouldn't notice. The dark-haired teen hid himself as calmly as possible and tried to settle down the heart that irritatingly had begun to race. But when hit with the sudden lack of that loud voice and the feel of a familiar chakra that seemed to blink in surprise, he knew he had failed in his attempt at anonymity. Shit! Apparently he had not acted quickly enough, though by now he should have managed it easily. Maybe he secretly wanted to be found.

He dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. It irritated him. This was a meeting he did not want, wasn't ready for. But now that it was here, he decided the best course of action was to just face it head-on. With little effort, he screwed his face into a comfortable smirk and turned his head to peek over his shoulder before speaking.

"Long time no see, dobe."

He heard his name whispered through the lips of a boy he'd tried so hard to forget. The strained silence that followed unnerved him. In the space between, he could see the other customers glance from him to the blonde, anxiously awaiting was to come next. As if it was any of their business. Annoying little bugs such as they were easy to tune out and he did just that. The boy in the doorway was another matter altogether. Not that he understood exactly why. And certainly not that he'd ever admit any such thing anyway. He found himself looking Usumacinta up and down, appraising the changes. The boy had grown a bit taller in the time apart and was better-looking than the prankster Sasuke remembered. All in all, he held an air of maturity, even with the goofy gap-mouth look on his face. But there was something else. Something about the way Uzumaki _looked_ seemed inherently wrong to his sharp black eyes. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the feeling of "wrongness" nagged at the back of his mind. Pushing the nuisance of a thought aside, he inwardly frowned, showing slightly on his face. For once, the uncharacteristic silence was pissing him off. Damn, how could he manage to be so irritating without even using his loud, obnoxious voice! The fact that the silence bothered Sasuke was more irksome than anything else, so to distract himself, he spoke.

"What's the problem Uzumaki? Never known you to be at a loss for words. Not unintelligent ones, anyway."

Well, at least he FINALLY got a reaction out of him. It was amusing to see how quickly the boy reverted to the Uzumaki Naruto of long ago. "H-hey, you bastard! Who do you think you are? Like you're one to talk. Yeah, right. What the hell's so special about you? Other than the fact you've still managed to walk with that stick stuck so far up your ass?"

Nothing ever changed did it? Well, that wasn't entirely true, some things had changed beyond any hope of repair, but he pushed that thought aside with the others.

He fought back a smile (the hell?), when faced with the humorous image of an indignant Uzumaki. A warm feeling flowed over him, one so pleasant he could almost lose himself to it. Almost. He shifted a little in his seat as he laid his payment down, finding the situation uncomfortably comfortable. To lose himself to memory now would mean losing everything he'd done.

"Whatever you say, dobe."

He heard the ninja boy's short reply, followed by a pink tongue sticking out from his mouth. The little pout he put on his face just made him look that much more childish. What was he, five! Sasuke smirked almost amusedly as images of the younger Uzumaki appeared before him. That warm nostalgic feeling would've been nice, if it weren't so damned irritating.

Then a complete change came over his former teammate, which both puzzled and angered the avenger.

"Sasuke . . . why did you leave?"

This again? Why did this little moron insist on dredging up all the useless things from the past? It was over and done with. Not to mention that there was no way for anyone who hadn't lived through such an ordeal to understand it anyway. Maybe Uzumaki was purposely trying to piss him off. He was not going to allow that damn idiot get the better of him. Sasuke was not going to start a brawl here, even though it took nearly every ounce of control to stop from attacking. The dark-eyed ninja found his voice breaking open with barely contained rage.

"We've been through this before."

"Yeah."

Now he was acting like some shy little kid on his first day of school! What the hell was wrong with him? Maybe this was really one of Uzumaki's clones, sent to throw him off. It didn't make much sense to do that, but when did anything that dunce do make sense? And at least it would explain all this annoyingly strange behavior that was so completely un-Uzumaki. Sasuke was sick of this conversation and secretly wished he made his getaway when he'd had the chance, consequences be damned.

Why was that moron just staring at him? Just do something already! He was acting like an even bigger idiot than Sasuke remembered. And now there's that 'I'm-so-right' look of his again. Sasuke hated that look.

"Why are you being so damn stubborn!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You-you bastard!" If that's how Uzumaki wanted to play this, grabbing his shirt like this was some schoolyard scuffle, then Sasuke would let him. Though he really wished the boy would stop looking at him like that. "Why are you staying with that snake! For power? From a creep who can't even beat your brother? . . ."

On and on the boy went until Sasuke really stop paying attention anymore. He really just wanted him to shut up already! With great effort, The Uchiha managed to swallow back the great anger rolling around in his gut. Who did Uzumaki think he was to question his choices? He was thoroughly grateful when the ninja boy finally yelled his last.

"For a supposed 'genius', you're about the dumbest person I've ever met!"

"I'm looking at the dumbest person." He'd had enough of this.

"What is wrong with you!" Sasuke could feel the uncontrollable anger that he himself wore like a cloak reflect itself it his old teammate's eyes. It was interesting how different his rage looked on someone else. "You. Are. Not. Sasuke. I don't know who the hell you are, but you're not Sasuke. Sure, you may look the same, speak the same. But I'm not as stupid as people think, you know. You-you're just a shell. An illusion you wear to make the real Sasuke feel better about himself." He winced inwardly as his own fears and doubts were cast back at him. He was so wrapped up in denying these thoughts that he didn't notice their faces were so close until he felt the breath upon his skin. "Tell me. Is it working?"

Now that was just way too close for the Uchiha's comfort.

"Get your hands off me."

The sudden undeniable urge to flee overcame him, so he shoved against the other just hard enough to free himself. The overwhelming need to be somewhere else almost made him bolt for the exit. He secretly hoped he looked a whole lot calmer than he felt.

"Stop." He felt himself stop as if the word controlled him.

"You have to come back to Konoha."

He wasn't going to answer that. There were no homes for people like him.

"We've been waiting for you, you know. All this time. That's why I'm here. Why _we're_ here. We were sent to bring you back." Of course. Nobody would _willingly_ come for him. "Konoha's still there for you. I know it won't be easy, but you're not alone anymore. Sakura-chan came too, she hasn't given up yet. Even Kakashi-sensei's here. We were sent by Tsunade-bachan, so there's nothing to worry about. I know she'll let you back in . . ."

Sick of his useless babbling, he cut the speech off there.

"So what? Is that supposed to mean something? You really think they'd just embrace a traitor? Tch! You really are naive, Naruto."

He'd only said it to shut him up, but he still felt a slight queasiness at the knowledge that it was true. He didn't even notice that it was the first time during the exchange that he'd called his old friend by his first name.

"If you want to think that, go ahead. But at least I'm not some stupid bastard."

Sasuke wordlessly assented, even though he no longer wanted a part in any of this. There was no going back. Immediately he dismissed the thought of returning, angry he'd allowed himself to entertain it, no matter how subconsciously. He was well aware of the truth.

"There's nothing there for me."

"Are you even listening? Your family is Konoha." He wanted to snap back a scathing retort, but the unexpected crack in the other's voice hushed him. "What about me? What about your best fucking friend? Or was that just another lie?"

He really did not need this. Looking off into the distance, he tried to disregard all the senseless words he didn't want to hear. He caught something about Sakura, about a promise. Something about his life being a lie. That was absolutely unforgivable. He'd be damned if he ever even considered the possibility. Gods, did the moron never shut up?

" . . . You need to come back to Konoha – to where you belong".

Oh, so he was finally finished? "Tch. You always did talk too much."

"Maybe. But I'm still right."

That absolute confidence of Uzumaki's never ceased to piss him off. Involuntarily, he tilted his head back in remembrance. Try as he might, those times that had been still held him. The rest of the world slipped away, until he was alone in the room, as he was always alone in his mind. Unfortunately, he felt that he had to address that one annoying gnat that kept trying to encroach on his solitude.

"You realize of course, Uzumaki, that you're asking all this from a person you've just called a stranger."

"That's kinda the point, isn't it?"

Well, the boy had grown, he'd give him that. But that only made things more clear. Growing up was growing apart. There was nothing more between them, and Sasuke was glad for it. So why then did he not say so? Why couldn't he make himself just leave!

"Please. . ."

What was that? That couldn't possibly be Uzumaki Naruto!

"Please come home with me."

Now that was just plain unfair. How dare he do that! Speaking with that broken voice laced with emotion. Making it all personal, when it wasn't.

No one would welcome back a traitor who turned his back on his home and his friends. There was no way that a boy he tried to kill could forgive him, regardless of how sorrowful his plea sounded or how lost his blue eyes looked. No one could ever possibly forgive their murderer.

He released a sigh and let his body relax. Why had he ever allowed himself into this conversation? There were no other ways, not since long before any of this started. He could feel the ninja boy approach him. Did he think he could stop him? He couldn't do it back then and he couldn't do it now. Silly little idiot. Sasuke took a deep breath and prepared himself to say the word that would finally end it once and for all.

"No."

Not bothering to wait for a response, he walked out the door and lost himself to the nameless crowd of the street.

Walking back through the town, he found himself unnaturally bothered by the scene that had just played out. But Kabuto would find him soon. Sasuke knew the drill and now he was more than ready to return to the dark place he knew. He'd had more than enough of peace. It didn't even upset him much when he saw the people once again looking his way.

He was so lost in thought that he was almost caught unawares by the powerful punch that was suddenly thrown at him. But he was too skilled to be caught completely off guard and with an abrupt spin, he captured the fist neatly in his hand. It did surprise him, however, that the force behind the blow was great enough to push him backsliding on his heels.

Now that the immediate danger had been averted, he took the opportunity to glance at his sudden attacker. The pink-haired girl he'd once known stood there, panting heavily with exertion or anger, her head lowered and body tense. This was the absolute last thing he needed. What was it with this day and unwanted meetings?

"You cannot do this again," she growled through gritted teeth. Haruno's anger was something he could understand much more easily than the heartfelt pleading he'd just heard from his other former teammate. But it still irked him beyond measure, causing his body to tremble in scarcely held rage. Surely she felt the tremor through her fist and he vaguely wondered what she thought of it.

But they both seemed too lost in the frustration of the moment which weighed down like forever. In some ways, they barely noticed each other. The two of them radiated anger so fiercely it was likely palpable to the passersby who had suddenly given them a wide berth. This was just getting ridiculous! Exactly how long was she planning on just standing there like a statue and making him her unwilling partner. It was enough. He wanted no more of these reunions. Besides, if he didn't return soon, Kabuto would likely start seeking him out more impatiently, leaving not so discreet messages littered through town. The medic-nin really was a twisted little bastard sometimes. Pooling in as much calm into his voice as he could muster, Sasuke spoke, if only to end this as quickly as possible.

"I don't want to hurt you."

She let out a short, derisive laugh as though she doubted the sincerity of such a statement. But it was true enough, even if he told himself it was only because he didn't want to waste the effort.

"No, of course not." Fury nearly dripped from her words, but she still hadn't moved an inch. After another moment, though, her body relaxed and she lowered her arm to her side until she stood there like some forgotten marionette. He could have easily made his getaway now, but for some frustratingly unknown reason, he didn't. Instead, he leaned back, though still on the defense, apparently waiting to hear what she wanted to say. Not that he cared of course, he just wasn't in the mood for another scene.

Too bad she had other plans as she suddenly began throwing punches again. Right, left, right, each one he managed to block, if just barely. Well, at least she had improved. She seemed to be trying to vent every last bit of her frustration on him. And then, as quickly as the attack started, it stopped. Once she gathered herself, she just stood and stared at him, hands stiff at her sides, her breathing still harsh from her exertion.

"I was always a little jealous of that, you know."

Her voice was still hard, but held a tinge of sadness now. Sasuke could only wonder at it.

"That you cared enough about Naruto to try and kill him. While I was barely even worth your time. That hurt. More than if you'd just hit me with your chidori. I know it doesn't make sense to you . . . but that's how it is."

He snorted at such inanity. But at least her present hostile demeanor was far preferable to the tearful entreaty he'd been subjected to the last time they'd seen each other. So she'd finally grown up a little. Good.

The look of grim determination on her face somewhat amused him, even when she aimed a powerful kick straight to his chest. He dodged easily enough, but scowled further at having to deal with this fight at all. Apparently by using a different tactic she thought she could now succeed where once she'd failed.

"How can you be doing this! How can you be so completely selfish!"

Her eyes shifted to the side as she bit on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. The hatred and disappointment she spewed at him was a thing easy for him to see and accept. And maybe it was because of this that he suddenly wanted to leave so badly. And so he turned around to do just that, furious he'd allowed himself to be sidetracked so long.

"I still love you, Sasuke-kun." Her words may have been soft, but her voice was certainly not and it held him. "But I love Naruto too. I guess it took me a while to figure out what I really wanted. I just want us to be together again. I just want things to be like they used to . . ."

Closing his eyes in exasperation, he tuned her out. He didn't need this right now, or ever. Really didn't need it.

So why exactly was he staying here? Why wouldn't his body move?

_Why the hell was he acting so strange this whole damn day!_

At the back of his senses, he could still make out her drone, but he really wasn't listening. He was so sick of people telling him what to do, what was best for him, as if they knew better than he. He so did not need this! Subconsciously, he tightened his hand into a fist, not even noticing when a stream of blood trickled down his finger.

"How can you do this to him? How can you leave again? After everything he's been through because of you?"

And what was that supposed to mean? After nearly killing the little idiot, leaving was the best thing to do, were they so blind to not see it? They should just accept it graciously, go on with their own lives and leave him the hell alone. All this babble of love and friendship and promises and whatever other nonsense was grating on his last nerve.

She was as bad as Uzumaki, making him remember things he'd rather not, angering him with needs he didn't have. This conversation reminded him of the one they'd had the night he left Konoha forever and yet it was so different. That night, with two simple words he'd fleetingly acknowledged he cared for her, as a friend and teammate. And then he'd left those feelings behind, alone on a bench by the gates of the city. It was an easy thing to do and one he'd never regretted. There was no reason to be thinking on that now, and he told his infuriatingly disobedient brain just that.

" . . . realize that you never truly wanted to leave. Or else why did you feel you had so fight so brutally against Naruto? From what I can gather, you were pretty desperate to ignore anything he had to say. You really think it was because he was wrong? Or was it because you didn't want to face your own feelings?"

He tried to stay calm, ignore everything she was saying, but he realized that was something easier said than done. By now a tiny pool of blood had gathered below his still bleeding hand.

"And you're still doing it now. Pretending like you don't care when it's so obvious you do. Or else you wouldn't have to try so hard to hate him. And why else would you still be here listening? You could've yelled, hit me, run off, anything. But you didn't. Stop acting like some spoiled brat and accept how you really feel!"

Each word she'd spoken both begged and chastised, the combination of which he didn't like. His mind slowly registered that she'd finished her speech and that he'd unwittingly absorbed all that she'd said. What his subconscious was telling him in reaction to her words only irritated him further. She was not right. Could not be. He had needed power, so he went to the only one who was willing to give it to him. He refused to believe he was wrong in this.

He'd had more than his fill of pleading this day and was ready to leave it all behind.

An oddly nostalgic wave washed over him as he craned his neck back over his shoulder, habitual smirk firmly in place.

"You really are annoying."

He tried in vain to not notice the odd, sad look the statement had caused her to wear. Ignoring the resemblance to before, he cut the trip down memory lane short and teleported away, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

When he reappeared on the other side of town, he was somewhat surprised, though mostly annoyed, to be met with the condescending glare of Orochimaru's loyal lapdog. Standing smugly, Kabuto looked down on him with a devilish, knowing smile.

"Have fun?"

Sasuke only glared and narrowed his eyes. "I'm back, aren't I."

Figuring that to be enough, he began walking back in the direction he'd come from, back to his chosen path, back to Orochimaru. He dimly noted when the lapdog stepped up to walk beside him, cocky grin still in place.

"Have a good time with your old friends?"

So he knew. Well, that was no real surprise and Sasuke hardly cared. But his jaw still clenched at the pinch in the back of his mind that argued otherwise. And that only served to further irritate his already tender nerves.

Would this fucking day never end?

"Shut up."

He chose to ignore the amused expression the medic-nin was now sporting.

More than ready to be the hell out of this godforsaken town, he took to the roofs, using his natural agility to jump from house to house.

That was when he finally noticed the small line of blood dripping from the recently inflicted wound in his palm.

* * *

The night that had finally begun looked down on him in his contemplation, bathing the world in a color he knew well. This was his world now, the one he'd made, the one from which there was no real escape. He knew this and accepted it, or so he chose to believe.

As he stood alone in the looming darkness, memories continued to float through his muddled mind. Both long past and recent, they confused him in their insistence on being seen. He didn't like this one bit.

He felt a new hesitancy when he tried to once again embrace his well-wrought path. He shouldn't have this difficulty in reasserting his hate and anger. They were his only emotions now. He'd rid himself of all softer feelings back on that day years ago.

Hadn't he?

He hated this new uncertainty. It wouldn't even exist if it weren't for those damned unwelcome reunions he'd been forced to endure. They brought with them too many memories and doubts.

He could never return, not to his one-time home, nor to his former friends. He'd cut off all paths but the one he now walked. Even if he could go back to them, it would only mean that he had wasted the life he'd lived without them. And the very thought was unbearable. That's why he had to leave, both then and now.

He had no other choice.

Did he?

Damn that Naruto! He hated the effect that little moron had on him. And yet, he'd found himself settling back into their shared past like a warm, comfy blanket. Of the few new bonds forged without his consent, this one was the strongest. He knew it wasn't a lie back then, when he'd said he considered him his closest friend. But it wasn't entirely accurate, either. The bond they still shared was strange, complex, and far too important to give it some simple label. Not that he'd ever admit to thinking any of this.

And not that it mattered anymore anyway, right?

Those ties had already been severed when he made the decision to gain his brother's strength. He'd chosen to use that bond to his advantage in whatever way he could, even if it meant destroying that which was most precious. And so he'd made that decision to kill his friend.

It should have been easy.

It wasn't.

In the end, he chose another path, the one that led away from Itachi's footsteps. Or so he told himself. That was certainly part of the reason, but not the whole. Never mind that deep down, he didn't really want to kill Naruto. Never mind that after he'd spent his rage and stood above his fallen friend, he found that all he could do was walk away. In killing this precious person, he would have killed the only untainted part of himself he still possessed. Not that he would, or even could, see the truth.

The reason he left the boy alive had nothing at all to do with his attachment to him. The tie had already been cut, killing him then would have served no purpose.

That was right, wasn't it?

It had to be. There was nothing more.

He reassured his troubled mind that there was no longer a bond linking him to Naruto, or anyone else. In vain, he tried to tell himself that the memories he'd been forced to relive meant nothing.

Never mind that he no longer really believed it.

He told himself that the only reason he left his friend alive back then was to insure that he was different from his murdering brother.

That had to be the only reason. It had to be.

He refused the possibility of anything else.

And in his blind determination, he didn't realize that in his attempt to be different, he'd ended up the same.

On to Chapter 3. . .


	3. Chapter 3: Sliding beside

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: Dun-da-da-da! Finally, the Sakura chapter! Much to everyone's relief, especially mine, this is the last in this set. Sakura's really hard for me to write, so I'm writing her how I'd prefer she was more like. Maybe how she is now, she is better . . .

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

Sliding Beside

As she leaned lightly against the tree, arms wrapped around her shins, head resting on her knees, she really wanted to be enjoying this. She really did. But even though the sun was shining and birds were singing and all seemed right with the world, things were most definitely not right in _their_ world.

In their little patch in the woods, the air was quite dreary indeed.

Her soft green eyes glanced to the blond boy who had literally thrown himself to the ground some time before. And hadn't moved since.

She fidgeted a bit herself, a touch unsure of what to do. He was acting so strange, so unlike himself. Part of her had expected just this sort of reaction, she was sadly familiar with it, but the rest of her couldn't help but worry.

Her gaze then shifted over to their team leader who sat idly reading as if they were simply on some twisted picnic. She fought back the scowl that threatened to reveal itself, since this was really his fault, and after all that work she'd put in, too. She'd finally gotten the gloominess to lift a little and then in he came bringing up things nobody wanted to think about. But the fact that he was just sitting there instead of badgering them was proof enough that he too was concerned.

Remembering the events of the day, she couldn't help but be puzzled at how she'd acted. Quarry in hand, missing piece found, and what did she do? She attacked it. Thinking it over, she wondered if maybe she and Naruto had been hit by some weird personality switching jutsu. They had gone through some strange role-reversal today, or so it seemed to her. She was the one to beg and plead; he was the one to make a point with his fists and not the other way around. Apparently, they'd both grown up in unexpected ways.

And that fact didn't really bother her so much. What bothered her was the day itself. It had been a total disaster. Why did things always have to turn out this way? Why couldn't things just work out right for them for a change?

Why had all her efforts been so totally useless?

But that was a stupid question, she already knew the answer. As much as it pained her, she knew that it was unlikely she'd ever be able to truly affect her former teammate's decisions. It seemed all his affection, all his emotions were reserved for one person and one alone, and even that one person had failed.

It was no mystery why Naruto was so upset.

And so she left him to himself for now, allowing her own mind to wander in its reflections on the members of Team 7 and how they'd ended up in this mess to begin with.

She brought herself back to the night everything changed forever. Remembered how she had begged, pleaded, offered anything and everything just to stay with the avenger, only to discover it was pointless. That's when she first began to realize that it might always be, that her love might always be an unrequited one. It had been a long, slow, painful process, this realization; but it was better than the alternative of holding on to a futile dream. Besides, he'd at least admitted to caring for her in some small way, and that was more than most could claim.

And of course, that little admission gave her hope, because when it came right down to it, she wasn't exactly the type to give up completely.

But today had once again proved to her what little effect she had on her old crush, and it hurt all over again.

It was those two boys that held the bond that couldn't be ignored, couldn't be broken, even after years of separation. And it was during those years that she'd finally come to truly grasp the nature and depth of the connection they shared. She saw how it was a bond that so consumed them that there was little room for anyone else.

And she felt blessed that she was one of the few granted a place in that bond, a view into their true selves, free of masks and false attitudes. However, her part was so small that her failure at reuniting them had almost been inevitable. She hated it, but at least she understood.

But that was not a thing to stop her from trying, not today, and not ever. They were her teammates, her precious friends, incalculably valuable like a second family. She'd grown to love them both, in ways she hadn't expected, and it was not something she could just let go of.

No matter how many times she failed, she'd never give up, because what she wanted more than anything else was to have a return to the happier days gone by.

Her eyes shifted once again to her friend who lay in the grass. He rolled over onto his side like a little child, so lost and alone, that she felt a sharp pain in her chest. It broke her heart to see him like this, so disappointed in himself. She had succeeded in cheering him up earlier, but it had felt a little false even then. Even when he had graced her with a smile, it was clearly forced, a mask which hid all his deeper emotions. How many times had she seen it before and never noticed? She cursed herself for her ignorance then, as well as for her ineffectiveness now.

Now all she could do was simply believe in him. Naruto could pull himself out, he always did. And so she would wait, stand by him, support him in whatever way she could, even it was just by staying at his side. She'd be a source of strength when he needed it and a source of comfort when he had nothing else.

Looking to the sky, she wished on the hidden stars that they'd get a second chance and a third and a fourth and as many as it would take to make things right.

To make a better ending than the one the one they had today.

* * *

Shading her eyes from the sun, searching through the crowds for any sign of her wayward teammate, she felt that this was about the last thing she wanted to be doing right now. Regrettably, she had little choice, so she once again examined the nearby area. He usually stuck out like a sore thumb so it really shouldn't be this hard to find him. She felt out with her senses, but for some reason this place had managed to swallow any lingering traces of her blond companion.

Huffing in frustration, she continued her fruitless trek through the town. She'd have rather just let him be, he was so excited to finally be somewhere with modern conveniences, and frankly so was she. After all, how long had it been since she'd had the opportunity to use a real bath? Soaking in a big tub of nice hot water sounded really good right now. Unfortunately, since it was rare that they had such a great chance to train lately, Kakashi had decided it was better not to waste it and found a place just outside of town, which according to him was "perfect for some advanced training". And so she was sent off straightaway to fetch their missing teammate so they could start as soon as possible. Yeah, sure, as if their great leader wouldn't be the last to show up. Well, he was right in one thing, they could use the practice, as she was forced to admit, but why did _she_ have to be the one to go looking for Naruto?

Putting her hands to her hips and pouting furiously, she took one last glance around. This was getting her absolutely nowhere.

"Excuse me . . ." she said, deciding to just ask one of the townspeople. "Have you seen a boy around here? Blond hair, blue eyes, bright orange pants? A little goofy looking?" Perhaps not exactly nice, but it was pretty accurate.

"No, sorry, miss, I haven't," answered the man.

"Oh, OK. Thanks." Frowning, she continued her search through town, stopping now and then to ask someone new. After the fifth person, she could only assume she was asking all the wrong people because there was no possible way that Naruto could have walked through town unnoticed. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks.

Of course! Why hadn't she thought of this before? It was so obvious! If she couldn't find anyone who saw him, she could certainly find someone who would know how to get to where he'd surely been headed. She addressed the very next person she saw.

"Excuse me, do you know where there's a ramen bar?"

"Oh, sure," replied the young woman. "Just go down this street, take the second left and it should be about half block down on your right."

"Thank you so much!" Well, that sure was easy. As she headed in that direction, she shook her head, exasperated she hadn't thought of it earlier.

Rounding the corner, she instantly caught sight of her prey as he trudged listlessly toward her. A sick, sinking feeling rolled over her as she approached her friend. It didn't take a genius (even though she was one!) to figure out that something was terribly wrong.

"Naruto . . ." she ventured. After a while with no response, she tried again. "Naruto. You're acting strange. What's wrong?"

The ninja boy now stood there in the middle of the street, motionless, staring at the ground. It was really beginning to worry her, the way he was acting so unlike his usual self.

"Naruto," she repeated, taking his arm and forcing a smile on her face. "What's the matter? Was the ramen not any good?" she teased.

He stayed there still, seemingly lost in thought. Truly filled with concern now, Sakura turned to face him, and grabbing both his arms, shook hard.

"Naruto! Come on, wake up!"

After an eternity, he finally blinked and raised his head. "Oh. Sakura-chan."

The kunoichi released the breath she didn't know she held. It was amazing to her how scared she had been over one simple thing. Or more to that point, it was amazing how important the former troublemaker had become to her.

Inwardly, she winced when she recalled the way she'd once treated the friendly boy. How she would constantly ignore or criticize him while fawning shamelessly over their other teammate. But she'd matured somewhat over the years and was no longer that girl. Now, when she looked at Naruto, it was with a certain fondness, and she had to admit to enjoying his company. When he wasn't acting overly stupid or perverted, that is. He always had a smile ready, a friendly word, and a skip in his step that was infectious. She'd seen it lessen some on his return to Konoha, but that same glow of sunshine was still there, inherent to his personality. Which is what made his present borderline depression worry her so.

She tilted her head in a silent question as his eyes looked straight through her. Whether answering the unspoken question or just revealing what was on his mind, he finally spoke.

"Sasuke was just here."

"What? When? Where?" she shouted, suddenly alert. Could this really be true?

"Oh. I don't know. Just over there, a while ago. I don't really remember."

"Oh, Naruto . . ." She could see how much he was hurting; she too could feel an anxious tightening in her chest in response to his melancholic attitude. But sadly there was no time for her to console him now. She gripped his arms more fiercely. "Naruto. Listen to me. You have to tell me everything that happened. This is important."

"Uh, yeah." He looked to the side as if no longer able to face her. "Ok. Fine. Whatever."

Sakura wracked her brain for some idea that would pull Naruto out of this apparent passivity. "Hey! I know. How about I buy you some ramen and you can tell me everything while we eat."

"I'm not hungry."

But right then, just to prove him wrong, his stomach decided to growl rather loudly. Allowing herself to giggle and hoping to lighten the mood, Sakura took one of his hands into her own.

"Somehow, I don't believe you. Let's go."

As she pulled the blond back in the direction of the ramen bar, Sakura caught a sheepish smile as it graced his lips. It was a little fake, but it was also a start. She'd failed him so many times before that she refused to do so now and was determined to bring back his usual optimism.

In the bar, after almost forcing Naruto to eat, a thing she would never before believed possible, he finally started to speak and the kunoichi found her thoughts swimming. After a while, he began to eat in earnest and his voice came more freely and quickly. So much so that she had a hard time keeping up, but caught enough to get the gist of what had happened. Her own emotions welled up unexpectedly harsh within her. A mix of frustration, fear and sorrow filled her when she heard of the actions and words her former crush had taken against her present friend. How could he have done this? And even more bothersome, how could Naruto still have such faith in him after that?

She was so lost to her own confusion that she didn't even notice when Naruto stopped talking.

"Sakura-chan? Uh, Sakura-chan? Hello?"

"Huh?" She was suddenly brought back to herself by a persistent voice and a hand that was waving rather madly in front of her face.

"Geez, Sakura. You drag me here and make me talk and then you don't even listen? Tch!"

The pink-haired girl laughed good-naturedly. "No, no. I was listening. Don't worry." At that, she stood up, and plunking some money on the table, turned to the waitress. "This should cover all this, and one more bowl." Facing Naruto again, she continued. "I'll be right back. You wait here, OK?"

"Uh, sure," He blinked his wide eyes in confusion, but nodded an agreement.

Out of habit, she ruffled his hair affectionately before bolting out the door.

She wasn't entirely sure what to do or where to go, but decided to rely on the little information she had since that's really all there was at the moment. Racing through town, she reached out with her senses for any hint or hope of her former teammate. Unexpectedly, a tingle hit her, and praying luck was on her side, she headed in that direction, running as fast as she could. A semi-familiar black clad figure entered her vision and without thinking, she charged with everything she had. The figure spun quickly and caught her punch in his hand, much to her chagrin. However, the kunoichi was pleased to see that for one, she wasn't attacking an innocent stranger, and for two, he momentarily lost his balance. But she also couldn't help but be frustrated that she hadn't caught him completely unawares. That would've made things so much easier.

Through the small contact between their hands, she could feel him shaking. Did that trembling stem from anger? How dare he! He was the one that left; he was the one that betrayed them! He had absolutely no right to be angry!

"You cannot do this again," she spat out.

She was somewhat surprised to realize just how furious she was with him. After all that time, she thought she'd accepted what happened, at least as much as was possible, but apparently she'd been repressing quite a bit. Seeing him again after all this time brought so many things to the surface she hadn't even realized she felt, especially when she heard the words spoken by that cold, emotionless voice.

"I don't want to hurt you."

Sakura snorted. She didn't need to be told that.

"No, of course not."

Her body relaxed of its own will and she vaguely noted that Sasuke continued to simply stand and stare. So condescending, as if she didn't matter. And it hurt, because she knew that in some small way, she didn't. As painful as it was, she knew she probably couldn't influence him in any great way, and even less did she have the ability to truly change his mind.

And this fact infuriated her. Without any real conscious thought, she began throwing punches again in a furious onslaught, venting all her frustration on him. It only irritated her more that he kept blocking, denying her the small satisfaction of one solid hit, and all without the use of the sharingan. Was he really that good or was her heart not entirely in it? Either way, this was pointless. With much of her energy spent, she stopped and turned to look him full in the face.

When she'd first looked, it was only quick enough for a basic recognition, but now she took the chance to really take in Sasuke's new appearance. He was all in black, like the night he resembled, which only served to accentuate the pale skin that seemed to have lightened over the years. But what she noticed most was the way he wore his age. He looked sterner, tired, with eyes that appeared old in the persistent smooth youthfulness of his face. It looked good on him.

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, aggravated that she'd allow her mind to wander to old daydreams instead of concentrating on the task at hand. And then she remembered what he'd just said.

"I was always a little jealous of that, you know. That you cared enough about Naruto to try and kill him. While I was barely worth your time. That hurt. More than if you'd just hit me with your chidori. I know it doesn't make sense to you . . . but that's how it is."

Of course it hurt. How could it not? She was simply dismissed by the boy she cared for while he couldn't even _force_ himself to ignore his best friend. That's how she'd come to realize that in any relationship with Sasuke, the best she could ever hope for was second place.

And she wasn't a second place type of girl.

That's not to say she wouldn't jump at the chance if Sasuke ever showed any interest in her, she just didn't let such hopes overwhelm her anymore

Instead, she had allowed her love for the raven haired boy to fade into a calmer, warmer feeling. When given the opportunity to reflect, she saw how it really had been a love with a romantic ideal, an illusion, and had very little to do with the real Uchiha Sasuke. Like most young girls, she was in love with the idea of being in love, while not knowing much about the real situation itself. It was an obsession, an infatuation that made her weak, caused her to be constantly one step behind. In order to move forward, to better herself in every way that was important, she had to let go of such childish notions.

But just because she understood all this, it didn't make it easy to move on or to accept being treated this way.

The old frustration overcame her and without warning, her leg swung itself towards him, an act of pure instinct and emotion, with no conscious thought involved. He expertly dodged it, but as her foot hit the ground, she hardly noticed she'd even moved.

"How can you be doing this? How can you be so completely selfish!"

Part of her couldn't believe the way she was talking to him, but her emotions had completely taken over and frankly, he deserved it.

She tried to keep herself in the here and now, but her mind had begun wandering as she fought with the boy she'd once adored. All her old feelings and thoughts came back to her as if she was still that little twelve year-old girl and she found it hard to hold onto all her anger.

She remembered how years ago she'd entertained the idea that he couldn't open his heart at all. That he was truly and completely selfish. But when she'd looked back on her time with Team 7, she knew this wasn't altogether true. There was one who managed to push his way into that seemingly cold heart. There was one person Sasuke would willingly sacrifice his life for, one person he thought of more than any other. And she discovered that was not such a bad thing. If there was someone who could truly befriend him and thaw his frozen heart, then she was sincerely glad for it.

And because of this, she knew that Sasuke belonged with them, knew it with all her heart. And that feeling trumped all others.

While she couldn't bear to look at him anymore, she still needed to tell him. Needed to say all the things she'd known for so long, things that perhaps even now he didn't understand.

"I still love you, Sasuke-kun. But I love Naruto, too. I guess it took me a while to figure out what I really wanted. I just want us to be together again."

She poured out her heart once more, but it was different this time, more controlled though no less true. Though she'd gotten past her girlhood infatuation with her mysterious black-haired teammate, she did still love him, but she'd also come to realize how she cared about Naruto too. Looking back, that's what she missed most about her time with them, the togetherness, the closeness, the familial quality. And she yearned for a return to those days, more than anything else.

"I just want things to be the way they used to. I want the old Sasuke back. The one who sneers and smirks and protects the people he cares about and doesn't try to hurt them. And I want the old Naruto back, too. The one with the silly smile, obnoxious attitude and constant cheerful determination. He's not that way anymore, not since you left. He pretends, but I've known him a long time. And I can see."

She was looking at his back now, as she always did, always one step behind her teammates, always trying to catch up, but always in their shadow somehow. And there she was still, despite everything. Sasuke had yet to see her because she couldn't step into his sun.

And with that sad awareness, she knew that all she could do was talk about _him_.

Because it was always about _him_.

"I don't think he'll be the same until you come back and maybe not even then. Think of someone else, for a change! He needs you; you're like a brother to him. And he's not going to give up until he brings you back, even if it kills him! You know how stubborn he can be! Almost as much as you! Maybe you really don't care how I feel. Maybe I'm not important enough to you for you to listen to. I guess I'll have to accept that, even though it's unfair. Maybe the strength of our connection was really only one way. But what about Naruto? How can you do this to him? How can you leave again? After everything he's been through because of you?"

She saw him flinch and knew that he'd heard at least something of what she'd said. So she'd keep talking, keep trying, because maybe she was wrong about herself. Maybe she could get through to him. All she could do was continue. And hope.

"Just come home already, Sasuke. For everyone's sake, especially your own. Better yet, why don't you just realize that you never truly wanted to leave. Or else why did you feel you had to fight so brutally against Naruto? From what I can gather, you were pretty desperate to ignore anything he had to say. You really think it was because he was wrong? Or was it because you didn't want to face your own feelings?"

He was listening now; she could tell by the way he clenched his fist so tightly that he drew blood.

"And you're still doing it now. Pretending like you don't care when it's so obvious you do. Or else you wouldn't have to try so hard to hate him." She had to push him, in whatever way she could. All that mattered was bringing him home, her pride was of little consequence. "And why else would you still be here listening? You could've yelled, hit me, run of, anything. But you didn't. Stop acting like some spoiled brat and accept how you really feel!"

She might have crossed the line a little at that, but there was no taking it back now. And she didn't especially want to. Her stomach lurched when she saw the smirk on his lips in the stance she remembered so well, with the words she'd heard before.

"You really are annoying."

And then he was gone. Just like that. Maybe it had been hopeless to begin with. But why did she have to go through this same thing time and again?

In a daze she looked around, not even finding the heart to be annoyed at the mass of people who blatantly stared. They'd probably been watching all this time and she was so lost to the moment, she'd never even seen them. She'd didn't like that, the insensitivity to her surroundings, the complete ignorance of anything but her objective. It wasn't professional and it wasn't safe. Sighing in defeat, she turned to go back to Naruto. Sad to say, she wasn't surprised at her failure, only disappointed. Though it wasn't a complete failure, not really. She knew he'd heard her and been bothered by their exchange, so that, in and of itself, was progress.

Well, there was no use in worrying over it now, she thought to herself, rather shocked at how calm she felt. There was still time and each step would be a step closer, she just had to keep positive. At any rate, Naruto was the one who needed her at the moment. Geez, but boys were a lot of trouble!

She pushed a curtain out of the way and re-entered the ramen bar, only to see Naruto still sitting there, still eating. At least he knew how to follow directions. She quietly walked up and sat down beside him.

"Oh, Sakura-chan," he said, mouth full of noodles.

She smiled prettily back at him, her face in her hands as she leaned on the bar, glad to see his spirits had lifted. Then she noticed all the empty ramen bowls that surrounded her blond teammate.

"I'm not paying for all that, you know."

Naruto chuckled and put an arm sheepishly behind his head. "No, I know. I saved up. I got it." With that, he pulled out some money and putting it down, gestured at Sakura that they should go.

"Well good." Sakura replied, standing up to follow him. "You know, I was actually sent by Kakashi-sensei to get you so we could do some training. He's probably waiting there by now. We should probably head over there now."

"Kakashi? Waiting? Yeah, right. But training does sound like a lot of fun. I'm ready to go!" Naruto nearly jumped with joy and ran out the door so fast that Sakura couldn't keep from laughing.

On the way out of town, they talked of little inconsequential things, and the pink-haired girl made sure to avoid any mention of their missing teammate. Naruto seemed to have forgotten the events of the morning, or at least pretended he had, and she was certainly not going to remind him. The unruly genin was finally in a good mood and she was bound and determined to keep it that way. When they arrived at the designated training grounds, they were not surprised to see that Kakashi had yet to appear.

"So, Naruto, what do you want to do?" asked Sakura. "Want to spar with me?"

"Huh?"

The blond ninja was looking to the sky, shielding his eyes from the glare of the sun and very clearly not paying attention. He appeared a little dazed, but at least he wasn't acting all depressed again either so she allowed the slight slip by.

"Uh, never mind."

Just as she turned around, Kakashi suddenly appeared before them with a somewhat confused expression on his face, nearly frightening Sakura to death.

"Kakashi-sensei, where have you been!"

"Sorry, Sakura, " answered the masked jounin distractedly. "I thought I felt Sasuke's chakra and tried to track him down, but I lost him somewhere. Must have used a teleporting jutsu . . ."

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" In a wild attempt to drown out the careless words before Naruto heard, Sakura screamed to the top of her voice while she squeezed her eyes tight as if this would erase the miserable scene playing out before her. Unfortunately, it was too little, too late.

With a terrible sinking feeling, she looked over and watched as Naruto pouted and simply let himself fall backward to the ground. It looked like nothing more was going to get done for quite some time yet.

Sighing and then scowling at her team leader, Sakura threw herself down at the foot of a nearby tree and watched as Kakashi grumbled noncommittally, sat down on an adjacent rock, and pulled out his copy of Icha Icha Tactics. The jounin had apparently figured out that his students were already aware of the news and unhappy with it and therefore had thankfully (and uncharacteristically) opted to let them be for a while. There was still most of the day left for training after all.

Resting against the tree, Sakura pulled up her knees and lay her head down. She'd done what she could for her teammates, both past and present.

The rest was up to those two now.

Boys really were a lot of trouble.

* * *

The three still remained silent in the clearing, the sun was still shining, the breeze was still blowing, the birds were still singing. And the clearing was still very very gloomy.

She glanced over to Naruto who lay there and to Kakashi who sat there and thought about where exactly she fit into this whole mixed-up group. Looking on the history of Team 7, she was reminded of how often she was locked out from their lives, from their problems, from everything of concern to her teammates. It was not necessarily done on purpose, or so she believed, it was just how things turned out. Maybe she was being a little harsh on herself, but with them, she couldn't help but always feel like an outsider looking in.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, she leaned her head back and looked up to the tree's branches to catch the little patches of light that peeked through. The darkness of the leaves, the brightness of the sky, each was more beautiful by its comparison to the other. And she couldn't help but think it was so much like them.

Like light and darkness, day and night, sun and moon, they complimented each other so perfectly; it was easy to see how they had grown that twisted connection. And as the moon reflected the light of the sun, so too could it block its light from the earth. Just like them, where either could be the stronger at any given time, so much the same, so utterly different, but each the center of their own sky. And if Naruto were the sun and Sasuke the moon, then she was the stars. A little farther away, but still part of the same space, surrounding them, adding her own bit of light. There was no way for her to truly get between them and she'd grown to accept this in their time spent apart. Moreover, she accepted that she no longer wished to. It was a strange thing, this acceptance, but not altogether unpleasant. She giggled softly to see how she'd suddenly turned so philosophical.

Then, out of nowhere, Naruto jumped up and started yelling, shocking her from her reverie and eliciting a little yelp. Quickly, she got to her feet, put her hands behind her back, and encouraged by the return of his good cheer, sauntered up to Naruto as he turned to face her, his expression soft.

"Thanks, Sakura."

"Huh? For what?" The pink-haired kunoichi asked, titling her head a little teasingly. The blond boy just shook his head a bit and glanced to the side, seemingly embarrassed. Feeling charitable, she decided to let him off the hook. "So then, Naruto, what do you plan on doing about it now?"

He looked back to her, blushing, and she almost fell to the ground when she realized that he clearly had no idea. Not that she should have been surprised, of course, he wasn't really much of a planner, more of a last-minute thinker. But Naruto was Naruto and he'd come up with something . . . eventually. She just hoped it was something that would work, for all their sakes.

"Alright then, you two. Now that this has all been settled, let's get to training. We've got to make up for lost time."

They both looked to Kakashi; ready themselves to get on with the day. Naruto nodded eagerly, anxious to follow, but then stopped short and turning to Sakura, spoke once more with confidence.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan. I always keep my promises. I'll bring Sasuke back."

"I know you will Naruto."

Then, with a huge grin plastered to his face, he took off like a shot while she followed more slowly, thinking over the two important boys in her life. She loved them both, it was true, maybe in slightly different ways, but they were both her friends, her precious second family. She was also a part of this strange bond and she was comforted to know that and to fully understand her place in their messy relationship.

She belonged not between, but beside.

And that's exactly where she intended to stay.

"Hurry up, Sakura!" Naruto cried, waving to her.

Smiling gently to her beloved friend, she quickened her step and fell into place, right there by his side.

Tbc, hopefully . . .


	4. Chapter 4: The One Who Sees

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine. Yeah, yeah, we all know I don't own anything, not even a stable mind.

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: In case you haven't figured it out, the point is that the characters have felt one way during the two-year separation, and something else completely when they're finally reunited. Also, this second set of meetings happens some indeterminate time after the first, a few months probably.

And in case it's not painfully obvious, I suck at fight scenes and try to avoid them as much as possible. Alas, I could not.

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

The One Who Sees

The cell was darker, danker, and more isolated than he remembered, but then how long had he been here? Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to . . had it been months? Or was it years? Time had no meaning to him, hadn't for a long time now. One minute was like another, one day like the next. How long had he been here? Why was he here? He couldn't remember anymore. There was something he was meant to remember, something that was so important that drove him in every step of his life. Or was it more than one something? He couldn't remember. And that scared him, yes scared him, more than anything. Because for a creature who lives only in the past, there's nothing more horrifying than to forget.

That much he knew. Everything he'd done, everything he had been, everything that had been done to him, that's all that he was. He is who he has been. But he is no one now. Without his "was", he had no "is". He'd only ever existed in the present, nothing more. It was in his past that he lived, his past that held him. And everything that had been was now his past. And he couldn't remember. So who was he now, really? With no memory, did he even exist?

His brain hurt.

He tried to recall how he got here. There was something there now, a tickle in the back of his confused mind. He hadn't always been here, in this impenetrable darkness. This tiny, windowless, locked cell that denied him any light or hope. He had been sent here. Because they followed, because they watched, because they planned. Because they'd never trusted him. And he'd given them the reason why.

It was all so foggy, like trying to catch a dream upon waking. The wispy lines of truth just there, floating right at the edge of your senses, but the more you gave chase; the more they simply slipped away.

His entire self, from heart to mind to body, was weak beyond measure. When was the last time he'd eaten? When was the last time he slept? He tried to move his arm, or at least thought it was his arm, but was hindered by a devilish clang. Turning to the sound, he thought he should be able to see, his eyes were open, weren't they? But there was nothing. Darkness, blackness, nothing.

How long had he been here?

He needed to remember. Putting his hand to his face, he put an effort to calm himself, to ease into a trance, to step his mind back. Almost desperately calm, he traced his mind for the lingering bits of memory that must remain.

And he found something. A figure in the moonlight, a night of death, a pain with no name. A pool of blood, a street of corpses, a brother he didn't know. Yes, that's right. How could he have ever forgotten? That was his everything. Blood-red eyes, blood-red hands, blood-red purpose.

That was his life, wasn't it?

The color of blood.

Gathering his strength, He pushed himself up, heard the sharp of metal, felt the cold of stone. With what little energy he still had left, he wracked his brain further.

And faces filled his vision.

There were many. Family, that's why he was here. Enemy, that's why he was here. Teacher, that's why he was here. He gripped the hard stone, holding the one solid thing he could to keep him in place.

He'd just woken up, that's why he couldn't remember. They made him sleep dreamless and deep so when morning came, he was disoriented. Wait, was it even morning? There was no light to tell him, no birds to warn him. So was it morning or night? He didn't know.

They kept him like this, lost and confused, and just this side of alive to make a viable vessel. Locked him away like an animal.

Why had they done this?

Breathing in shallowly, he tried to calm his raw nerves. Panic would get him nowhere; he needed a handhold to regain his sanity, or more importantly, his identity.

An image returned to his mind filling him with hate, disappointment, and fear, reminding him of his one true goal. Itachi, his brother, his blood-colored destiny.

One more breath, and another imaged appeared, bathed him in hate, disgust, and despair, reminding him of his one real choice. Orochimaru, his teacher and keeper, a black-colored path.

He opened his eyes once more, attempted the sharingan, his blood-red power, and was immediately dashed to ground by the searing pain that assaulted his head. They'd been pulling out his chakra, poisoning him, punishing him, making him too weak to think or move or care.

But why? He couldn't remember. What had he done? He knew it was important. Maybe even more than his vengeance, his power, his brother, his whole life's work. Because they had thought it important enough to cage him in the darkness like a beast.

Forcing his brain to cooperate, he reached into the depths of his mind and pulled out different, brighter memories. There he found light and trees, clouds and water. And one by one, friendly faces marched before him, the faces of Konoha. The land of his birth, the home he'd betrayed. But he knew there was more, something greater mixed up with all this haziness. He slammed his head against the stone wall as if he could somehow knock the memory to the surface. Flickers of starry lights danced across the backs of his eyes.

Then another face floated before him.

That's right. He remembered now.

The boy. Naruto.

The reason they no longer trusted him.

* * *

The soft rustle of the leaves echoed in his ears as he raced through the branches of the trees. He was moving a little too fast, a little too loudly than was prudent, but he couldn't afford to lose them. They had too much of a lead on him already and he couldn't allow himself to lag.

But even less could afford to be caught, as that would mean certain disaster. He'd allotted himself more time than he had on his other escapes. His carefully laid genjutsu would not be so easily detected and should last plenty long enough for him to do what he needed to do. Whatever that was.

And it's not as if any of them would expect that tactic, none of them knew how well he could do it. He didn't tell that twisted snake bastard everything and certainly didn't learn everything from him either. He was the keeper of the sharingan, the copy-eye, and had managed to learn a few things on his own, to master even more. Yes, they all had their secrets. He owed them neither loyalty nor respect. Just as Orochimaru was using him, he was using the snake. A beautiful, bloody, sick symbiosis.

Suddenly, he came to a halt and crouched low in a particularly bushy set of branches. Slightly farther ahead, the group of Sound nins he'd been tailing had stopped. Peeking through the leaves, he took a careful study of the ninjas and their supposed prey. From the safety of the brush, he spied them. They were the reason he'd come, after all, even if he didn't understand why.

He watched the gray-haired jounin pretend not to notice the shinobi watching them as both younger team members attempted the same, with varying degrees of success. His dark eyes turned to the blond teen, the one, if he was honest with himself, that had truly drawn him out. The little idiot had pulled him here and probably didn't even realize he'd done it.

As Sasuke settled a little more comfortably back into the tree, he pursed his mouth in confusion. He'd felt compelled to follow the four chuunins when he accidentally overheard the nature of their mission. But he had yet to understand the reason why other than that an annoying thought had been nagging him ever since he'd seen the boy, however long ago that was. There was something "wrong" with Naruto. The black-clad teen had no idea what it was; just that he hadn't been able to concentrate since. And that had bothered him enough to take an incalculable risk to chase after what was only the hint of an idea.

But that really didn't explain why.

Why did he come back?

Why did all his thoughts of revenge slowly become overshadowed by thoughts of Konoha? He'd become horribly distracted of late, and that irritated him more than anything. Images of his recent past kept blocking out those of his old past. But he'd left all that behind, the memories he didn't need. Until recently, he had no trouble ignoring those unwelcome thoughts.

If only he hadn't seen them.

If only they'd left him alone.

If only he hadn't listened and been reminded of all the things he'd forgotten.

But there was no point to "if only's". The memories were there, taking over his mind, blurring his focus, fading his determination. He didn't like this, could not allow it. Avoiding them and the memories they elicited in all their time apart had not worked. The best thing to do was just face it head-on, deal with it, and be done with it.

But he'd really rather not have to deal with it at all.

Damn nagging memories.

Why wouldn't Konoha let him go?

Why the fuck couldn't _he_ let it go?

He clenched his teeth in frustration until it hurt, concentrating on the blunt, physical pain because it kept him grounded.

Startled from his thoughts by the sudden rush of wind, he watched as the four ninjas jumped from the trees and attacked without warning or forethought apparently. Idiots. They didn't stand chance, and in typical Sound arrogance, they didn't even know it. He could've beaten them pretty easily alone. Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura could make short work of them without even breaking a sweat. What exactly was the point in this? Orochimaru would know they were no challenge, so why? That snake always had a plan, the obsessive bastard, there had to be a reason, but Sasuke had yet to make it out.

Of course, to be fair, his mind was preoccupied and he wasn't overly concerned with figuring out plans, even now. He knew he should be that he really should be more cautious. But this inexorable pull to see them had made him reckless.

And though it infuriated him, it seemed he was no longer in control of his actions. He really wanted to know why he couldn't let go.

Because he couldn't let go.

And he'd finally seen it.

He had to stop it, had to know why, and for that he needed to face the source of his problems.

So he watched them as their battle, and he used the term loosely, ensued. The copy ninja was flanked by two, who apparently thought there was safety in numbers. Fools. As if that would make a difference. That left one each for Sakura and Naruto.

There was nothing special about the Sound ninjas, Sasuke had seen them around, they had no secret, special technique to pull out at the last minute and grasp victory. They would lose and it seemed the leaf shinobi wouldn't even need to put in much effort.

Kakashi had expertly dodged a few well-aimed hits, which when combined with typical sound and vibration techniques could have done some damage. If only they weren't just a little too slow for the jounin to really take them seriously. Just for fun, or so it seemed to Sasuke, he then used a combination of substitution and henge no jutsu to confuse the two into attacking each other. Well that was just pathetic, even for low-ranking ninja.

Sakura, on the other hand, was relying almost entirely on brute force to beat her opponent into the ground. She used a little substitution of her own to get a better angle as she threw several kunai and avoided a sound wave jutsu. Even her man was ridiculously outmatched; he'd be down soon too.

But if the raven haired teen was honest with himself, he'd admit that he wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to those two. Watching those fights served little purpose, he'd learn nothing new, nothing of use, and those chuunin were just fodder for Orochimaru's inscrutable ambition.

If he were really honest with himself, he'd admit that his eyes were really only watching the third fighter. In typical fashion, Naruto charged in, throwing shuriken and punches almost aimlessly. And it didn't take long for him to pull out his favorite technique, kage bunshin no jutsu, to start throwing weapons from all directions. He probably had decided to keep this long-range since most of these chuunins' attacks were based on close-combat. And because they were so ineffectual, Naruto probably wouldn't even need to use any of the fancier moves or wells of chakra that Sasuke knew he had.

Without thinking and without knowing why, the black-eyed teen leaned far forward like a little kid trying to sneak a peek at something he shouldn't. And like some idiot novice, he slipped. What the hell? Before hurriedly hiding himself again, he thought he saw those blue eyes capture his own black ones, but he couldn't be sure.

This was getting far too dangerous. Time was quickly growing short and if he didn't leave soon, he was just asking to get caught. By either his enemy or his enemy, it didn't much matter which.

And yet he stayed, as if frozen.

What the fuck? How is it that he just kept irritating himself? It's like he'd lost all control over his own actions, had become a visitor in his own body. It bothered him, annoyed him. And if he really allowed himself to accept the truth, it worried him. He had to leave, before he ruined everything.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, he turned and found himself face to face with a certain Orochimaru lapdog. Shit! How the hell had the medic-nin approached without him noticing? He was way too distracted.

Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looking like the condescending bastard he was, Kabuto addressed him. "Well, well, Sasuke. Out for a little stroll?"

"It's none of your damn business," Sasuke replied, scowling furiously and absently wondering when Kabuto had stopped using the -kun at the end of his name.

Narrowing his eyes, the raven-haired boy snapped his head up as if daring the other to question him. The creepy medic-nin just stared back as if he'd never seen the teen before. What was his problem? Talk about acting out of character. Sasuke should be in some serious trouble because of what he'd done, and yet Kabuto was just _looking_ at him. Instead of dealing with this curiosity, he just smirked, shook his head, and took off, not looking to see if the other had followed. As the black clad teen leapt through the trees, he heard his unwanted companion behind him, unusually silent.

Sasuke was confused, which was a feeling he didn't like, but was becoming increasingly familiar with. It was just that Kabuto was acting so freakishly strange, in a different way than normal. It was throwing him off.

And while he was thinking on it, how the hell had he seen through the genjutsu? It was painstakingly crafted in every detail, to avoid just this situation. It should have given him more time, it wasn't some sloppy rush job. And it couldn't just disappear unexpectedly like a simpler bunshin . no . . jutsu . . .

Wait a minute.

Halting abruptly, he turned his dark head a little to look over his shoulder suspiciously.

"Hey, Kabuto."

The older ninja stopped so precariously that he almost fell forward, though he quickly regained his balance to stare blankly back. "Yes, Sasuke?"

Covering his eyes with his hand and heaving a great sigh, the boy tried to get control over his emotions. "Naruto."

"Huh? Oh? What? Where? Naruto's here?" The medic-nin sputtered out unconvincingly.

"Yeah. Right here." And with that, Sasuke cuffed the boy sharply on the back of his head.

"Ouch! What the fuck was that for!"

The dark eyed ninja looked to the ridiculously false Kabuto with the childish pout on his face and the hand indignantly rubbing the bump on his skull. Shaking his head and letting out his breath, he wondered how he'd ever been tricked, even it just been for a minute. His chakra really was messed up.

"Just give it up, you're not fooling anybody."

Boyish frown still in place, Kabuto suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke and became Naruto. "How'd you know?"

Turning, ready to take off, Sasuke simply said, "Just leave, idiot."

"Wait, where do you think you're going?"

The raven-haired boy felt his wrist become captured by a familiar hand as Naruto held him there without much effort. Time stood still as Sasuke's eyes closed in remembrance and Naruto's grew wide, blinking in confusion. Slowly, the dark-eyed teen turned away, and spoke in voice that might've cracked if only it hadn't been so seriously trained.

"Why can't you just let me go?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? That doesn't even make any sense, Sasuke. You're the one who came out here, idiot. I just followed you."

He knew he was asking the wrong question. Naruto wouldn't let go because that's just who he was. That's just one of the many ways in which they were different. Or were they? Maybe he wasn't asking the wrong question, but the wrong person. He was the one who put his life, his future, everything he'd worked for, everything he'd done, all of it at stake just for the chance to see them again.

"Why are you here Sasuke?"

Silence was all that answered the blond ninja. Because Sasuke didn't know. Because when it came right down to it, Sasuke wasn't as smart as he thought. And he didn't like that. He believed in his course and his mission, it's all he had to live for, the only choice he had, his blood-red destiny. Right?

But the truth was; he was no longer so sure.

Fiercely, he yanked his hand from Naruto's grasp and readied himself to escape.

"It's none of your business."

"Like hell it's not! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Looking back with an expression that could be called awe, Sasuke suddenly stopped in his hand signals. Always the same thing with Naruto, like a one-trick monkey. But now that he was dealing with five of him, he didn't have time to finish his own jutsu as one shadow clone instantly took a swing. Before he did anything, he'd have to get rid of them. Backing up quickly to a higher branch, he raced through the movements and used his Phoenix fire jutsu, dispelling all the shadow clones at once.

Wait, all of them? Dammit. Of course he'd underestimated Naruto, he always did. He knew the boy's techniques and tactics by now, he should've been prepared. Activating his sharingan, he looked around almost frantically; there was no way he'd allow himself to be caught off guard now.

Then he saw them. Naruto and one of his clones forming the one attack that could truly counter his chidori. The blond sure wasn't pulling any punches, was he? Well, Sasuke had no time to waste either and desperately tried to perform the chidori quicker than he ever had before. But then an idea struck him and he stopped.

Instead of fighting back, the raven-haired teen stood there motionless, hands at his sides, eyes closed, and completely vulnerable. He didn't have to _do _anything. This was another way in which they were different. Naruto wouldn't hit him, wouldn't take the chance that Sasuke might not defend, wouldn't take the chance that he might kill his friend. And the benighted boy was proven right when he heard a muttered curse followed by the sudden cease of movement.

When he reopened his eyes, he saw the last of the rasengan dissipate along with the one remaining shadow clone. He watched with interest as Naruto looked down, his whole body tense, trembling with rage. At the back of his mind, Sasuke wondered which one of them Naruto was angrier with.

"You fucking bastard. Why won't you fight back!"

"Because I don't have to."

Sasuke tried to reclaim the cold, arrogant mask that served him so long, but he'd been showing too many emotions lately for it to really hold. He tried not to let it crack completely when Naruto glared up him with a look of undisguised hate and anger.

"Why are you always like this? You're so goddamn selfish! I'll make you fight me! Then I'll pound some sense into that thick skull of yours and drag your sorry ass back to Konoha. Idiot! I'm not going to give you a choice!""

Sasuke watched in near horror as a gruesome change began to overtake the shorter ninja. Claws grew rapidly, the scars on his cheeks deepened, his eyes turned red, his pupils narrowed to slits, and an enormous angry chakra began to swirl around his body. The betrayer stumbled backward with his eyes opening wide, because he remembered this. And there was nothing he could do. The only chance he'd have to defend himself was with the curse seal, but that was the one thing he couldn't risk. As soon as he activated it, _he'd_ know, and he'd know the betrayer had in turn betrayed him. And Sasuke's life would be forfeit.

And the arrogant, self-centered, single-minded boy was scared. Because he was trapped. As he staggered in the moments before the attack, his mind raced through his options, trying to weigh which one would be best. He couldn't afford to get caught by Orochimaru, but he couldn't afford to be brought back to Konoha, either. He had to follow through with his choices, or everything would be lost. And saw that there really were no options, either way he was damned. His mind worked over this frantically, but his body remained static. He almost didn't notice when the others approached, but they were making such a racket, that he was quickly brought back to his senses.

"He's over here, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Yes, Sakura, I know."

The two suddenly burst through the leaves on either side where Sasuke stood dumbstruck. He watched distractedly as his former teacher pulled out a strip of paper and almost cautiously approached the once boy. As the kunoichi raced by, her shocked green eyes caught his frightened black ones for just a moment and she silently mouthed his name in wonder before quickly glancing back to her teammate.

He couldn't waste this rare opportunity that had curiously been granted. Getting caught here wasn't an option and quickly making the hand signals he'd started earlier, he completed the jutsu and disappeared.

The moment his feet hit solid ground, he began running as if trying to get as much distance between him and that angry chakra as possible. Blood-red chakra, blood-red eyes. Blood-red destinies. The irony was not lost on him. The comparison between the two unnerved him as though it confirmed some unwanted connection.

He didn't know how far he'd run, but in his panic at getting caught he'd overexerted himself. His lungs stopped working and his legs gave way, his body exhausted by so much more than just running. Breathing heavily, he leaned against a tree and looked back in the direction he'd come from.

He'd seen that strange transformation before, but it amazed him every time, made him feel small and common.

And suddenly he knew what had been bothering him.

Cursing, he slammed his head to the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes. Damn them! Damn that idiot! And damn himself!

Because now he knew he'd be seeing them again.

Little did he really understand why, he just knew that he would.

He had to. And he knew he'd be the one to seek them out.

Because his best friend was killing himself.

* * *

The stone floor hit him back hard when he fell. He'd remembered too much. It was so much simpler when he didn't have to think or feel or know. They'd taken it all from him. They'd blessed him with ignorance and like a petulant child; he'd thrown it back in their faces.

In his mind's eye, he replayed his return to sound. He'd been half dead, so weary from the pain that he couldn't even put up a fight when Kabuto carried him back.

"Well, Sasuke-kun," the man had said, "I hope you enjoyed your little adventure. Because it's the last one you'll ever have."

He was so out of it, that he was barely aware of what was happening until it was over. Like a rag doll, he was tossed to the floor, that self-important lapdog looming over him. Had he been conscious enough, he would have had the sense to be disturbed by the malicious glint in Kabuto's eyes. But then the medic-nin leaned over and placed his hands down, performing a jutsu the teen didn't recognize.

And the pain came.

And Sasuke screamed.

Screamed like he had when his brother had forced him to relive that awful night until he broke. Primal, desperate, he screamed. Because it was the excruciating pain of having everything ripped from you in one cruel motion, because he knew he was losing so much more than his freedom.

When he'd finally awoken, it was here, in the darkness he'd once chosen. And as he lay alone and in those shadows, for the first time he truly realized what that meant.

Because he was a boy who only remembers, all he had was his past. So that past had teased him over and over, never letting go, never letting him move on. And when he lay there without sense, without hope, as every goal and mission and dream was turned to dust, he saw. In the absolute darkness, when he knew everything was gone, his eyes were finally open. Perhaps it was because he'd failed, or perhaps it was because he now had nothing left to hate or hold onto. Or perhaps it was simply because it was so dark and empty. He didn't know.

But he saw.

It was a strange thing, this sudden knowledge. Maybe he'd had to go through all this just to see the truth. He couldn't move forward, couldn't face reality not because of some vow or some vengeance or some tragic night from his past. He couldn't move forward simply because he couldn't move forward, he just didn't know how to. Because the only thing he knew how to do was remember. His was a life of no present, no future; his entirety of being relied only on the what-had-been.

And so he had let his memories hold him. And now, as they taunted and tortured him, he finally understood why. All for the simple reason that he'd never mourned. Oh, he'd cried on that long ago night, cried as he ran, and cried as he begged to be spared, not knowing the request was a life sentence. But he'd never mourned. Once the dust had settled and the sun had risen, he gone straight from survival to vengeance, locking away his heart, denying himself the chance to honestly grieve. And because he'd denied himself the time, he'd denied himself the ability. And so he could never move forward. He'd never gotten over what had happened, never learned to deal, never learned to accept that life simply goes on. He'd trapped himself in his past, each new one adding to the last until only a series of regrets remained. And there were so many things that he now regretted, from his failure that night to the time he'd left Konoha behind even to the events of this day. No matter how much he wanted it to, the past wouldn't let him go, and he couldn't let go of it. All because he'd never learned how to mourn.

And because he didn't known how, he didn't known why.

Except now he understood. And that somehow made it worse.

Because the only thing he could mourn over now was himself.

tbc . . .


	5. Chapter 5: Calming Effect

Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto. Shocker.

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: Hey, it's the Sakura chapter. And she'll play a big part in the next chapter too, so don't worry. There will be plenty of Sakura time, just probably less than Naruto and Sasuke.  
You know, it's hard to keep switching viewpoints like this. But that's my own fault. _Sigh_ . . .

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

Calming Effect

Firelight flickered across her face, almost hypnotizing her with their rhythmic dance. Even though Gai's team had joined them, the first as always to answer the call, the camp remained relatively hushed, the air a heavy somber strain on their shoulders.

They were holding their ground, so to speak, as they awaited the arrival of the rest of their force, needing all the pieces together before making a move. Weeks had already passed since that fateful day, when they'd finally gotten their first real break, and time was now running perilously short. Every person was on edge for one reason or another, anxiously waiting for the battle to begin and be over.

Even though it had been so long, the events of that day still weighed down on those who'd lived them, boxing them into apprehension, hope and confusion. And Sakura had, of course, been one of those few.

And because she was Sakura and because she cared, she worried, the troublesome thoughts hitting her at random times like now, causing her to lose sleep and focus. Both the boys were important to her, so she couldn't stand to see them in such trouble.

But then, boys really always were a lot of trouble.

Of course the fact that these particular two boys had very particular and extreme problems made them that much_ more_ trouble.

Sadly, when she remembered that day, she was reminded of how she'd learned that her understanding of what they'd both lived through could really only ever be academic. As she watched their fight, this had become too painfully clear. She could offer comfort and support and a _sense_ of understanding, but the miserable truth was that she could never actually appreciate what their lives had been like. As a child she'd always had people who cared and watched over her, she'd been simply Sakura, not some unwanted symbol of something else. Such pain, isolation and pressure as those two had had to endure were things she'd never personally had to deal with. And it seemed like for them, things just always in some way grew worse and worse and more and more complicated.

But then again, she was here now, she could be the someone to care for and watch over them. Even if they never actually voiced it, she knew they needed her and on some level, she believed that they knew this too.

And it was nice being needed.

Despite knowing this, however, she was still somewhat irritated at herself for failing them, for failing to notice things that were so painfully clear. Especially when it came to a certain loudmouth teammate. Hadn't she promised to stand by him and help and do everything a good and true friend should?

Which is exactly why she was so angry, she should have seen it. She'd been with him every day since his return and yet she'd missed all the signs that appeared so obvious now. There seemed to be something wrong with that. Though maybe the very fact that she was by his side every day was the reason she hadn't noticed. Perhaps the change was so subtle over such a stretch of time that it took a veritable stranger to see. After all, Kakashi had been a little surprised at the revelation himself, however much he tried to hide it.

That made her feel a little better, but not by much.

He was her friend; she should have seen these things, as a friend that was sort of her job, to look out for him. But then, she was the one who was here for him now and in some ways wasn't that really more important?

But that wasn't entirely fair of her either. After all, the reason Sasuke wasn't here right now wasn't entirely his fault, at least not this time. Who knows what he would have done if that hadn't happened? She had her suspicions that nothing would have changed, except there was that moment of hesitation. That one fleeting moment . . .

Nervously, she began to nibble at her nails like a squirrel, a bad habit she'd acquired in recent days.

So many things from that day weeks ago made her worry, made her wonder. First they were attacked, then Sasuke, then attacked again, then Sasuke again, then the fight, then that one moment of quiet then everything was gone. And all in one short day. Thinking on it made her head spin.

And since then, they'd waited. Waited for the others, waited for a sign, waited for the right time. And to her troubled mind she started to think that there was nothing in the world worse than waiting.

Everything had become more complicated than it needed to be and simpler than seemed possible, all at the same time.

Leaning her face into her hands, she gazed deeper into the flames, soaking in its welcoming warmth, wondering on the strangeness of that fact.

And now that she thought on where that had all come from, the odd way Sasuke had acted back then, she remembered some of the strange things he'd said, too. Screwing her face into one of deep thought, she titled her head in remembrance. And confusion.

What had that been about, anyway?

* * *

As a final finishing blow to their Sound-nin enemies, Sakura drove a massive punch straight to the ground, leveling them all under a mass of earth and stone.

Barely winded, she stood back up and admired her handiwork. While it was true the ninja had hardly registered as a threat, it still felt rather good to have beaten them.

"I don't think we'll have to worry about them anymore, Kakashi-sensei," she shouted, eerily cheerful, waving her hand anxiously at the jounin.

"Yes, I see that, Sakura. Good job," replied the team leader. "Though it does make me wonder why Orochimaru would send such a paltry force after us. Unless he never meant to really stop us from the beginning. ."

"They weren't much of a challenge, were they?" The pink-haired kunoichi piped in when Kakashi's thought trailed off. She inclined her head a bit quizzically to her blonde teammate who was standing uncharacteristically quiet, wearing an odd expression. "What do you think, Naruto?"

Walking up to the blonde, she patted him companionably on the back, at which point he suddenly and inexplicably disappeared.

Uh-oh.

"Uh, Kakashi-sensei, I think we have a problem." She scanned the area warily.

Shaking his head with a mix of worry and disgust, the jounin grumbled under his breath, and taking a quick look around searched for any traces to show where the boy had run off. As Sakura watched, she thought she saw him look decisively in one direction, and she hoped that he'd found some trace of Naruto's passage that she herself had overlooked. Then he gestured for her to follow.

While she trailed after the jounin, she desperately prayed that Naruto hadn't done something stupid, or worse that he had been lured away or captured, the four chuunin they'd fought only acting as distraction. Honestly, she didn't much think Naruto would be that easy to catch or that stupid, except for that he at times he could be, well, a bit naive.

Racing through the trees alongside Kakashi, the echoing sounds of fighting suddenly reached her ears and caused her heart to skip a beat.

Fearing the worst while hoping the best, she looked to the jounin who flanked her and attempted to speak in a steady voice.

"Over here, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Yes Sakura. I know."

His face then bore a strange expression, but she really didn't have time to appreciate its meaning before they burst through a dense gathering of leaves.

And since her head was still turned, she saw him. It struck her as a most unusual sight, the normally stoic boy with his back pressed to a tree, appearing to be completely frozen into place. Briefly his eyes turned to catch her own and she clearly saw the look of sincere panic held there, though she had little time to register this fact. She attempted to call out to him, but in her shock, only silence left her lips. Then following his gaze, she watched as Kakashi put a seal on a Kyuubi-consumed Naruto. Was that why Sasuke had looked that way? He was afraid of Naruto?

When the blond fell backward from the effects of the seal and Sakura was assured in her own mind that he was unharmed, she at last took the opportunity to glance backward only to discover that Sasuke had already made his escape.

Her mind raced with a variety of thoughts from wonder at how Sasuke had been there to why he'd worn such blatant expression of fear on his face. Then she couldn't stop being puzzled once again by the strange, inadequate chuunin that had been sent after them. Four Sound-nins and Sasuke? She seriously doubted that was pure coincidence. But what was the connection? Were they working together or separately? She cursed her genius for not being able to put the pieces together.

Her green eyes, anxious and concerned, turned to face her two teammates. Answering her unspoken worry and echoing her recent thoughts, Kakashi spoke, though mostly to himself. "He'll be fine; he just needs a little rest. But good thing we got here when we did. And why was Sasuke there?"

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Shaking his mind clear, the jounin looked up to the girl with his lazy eye, picking the foxboy up in his arms.

"Let's get going. I want to get a little distance between us before setting up a place to rest."

Nodding in agreement, Sakura quickly chased after but glanced back as she wondered what could possibly have transpired between the boys to result in the scene she and Kakashi had interrupted.

Some while later, after Naruto awoke and their journey began once more, the blonde planted a scowl on his face, not bothering to share his issues with the others. The entire time they walked, his expression didn't change one bit and finally fed up with his silence, Sakura approached him.

"Naruto," she tried gently. "Do you want to talk?"

"Not really," Came the short reply.

Looking to him, she saw the obvious lie for what it was and hoped it wouldn't take as long for him to open up as it had that last time. And now she decided not to push, allowing him to speak when he felt ready, praying it wouldn't be a stretch near forever.

And just as she was thinking this, he stopped, glowering at the ground beneath his feet as though it were to blame.

"What was that about?" He harshly voiced out to the earth. "I mean, you saw him, didn't you?"

He turned to face her then, boyish pout still in place, his eyes showing both confusion and frustration. She knew all too well how he felt.

"Sasuke," She nodded, confirming the answer they already knew.

"What was he doing there? He was just sitting there, watching. And I don't think he was supposed to be there, either." Squinting his eyes as he looked up to the sky, he put his hand to his chin in thought. "When I showed up as Kabuto, he looked really surprised, and pissed. I don't think he was expecting to see me, er, him."

At hearing his casual take on the situation, a sudden, fierce anger ignited in the kunoichi when she realized that her distraction over Sasuke had caused her to forget just what it was Naruto had done. Letting her emotions to take control, she took a swing hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to do serious damage, hitting the blond square in the jaw. She watched in pleased amusement as he fell backwards, looking wide-eyed up at her from his new vantage point on the ground.

"What was that for!" He yelled a touch whiny.

Putting her hands to her hips and sneering down at him, she yelled just as loudly back. "For you, you idiot! How dare you do that! We didn't know where you were. It could've been a trap; you could've gotten yourself killed! What were you thinking, going off by yourself! We were worried! _Anything_ could've happened!"

The blonde teen just gazed up at her stupidly, opening and closing mouth, sputtering like a landed fish.

"Sakura's right." The kunoichi watched as their leader strode up to them, evidently taking an interest in their conversation. "You can't just decide to do things by yourself, Naruto. It's dangerous for everyone involved. What if it was a trap? What if we couldn't find you? Or what if it was a trap for Sakura or me? Then what would you have done? I thought you'd grown up more than this, Naruto, but I guess I was wrong. That was stupid, reckless and unprofessional. But most of all, it was childish."

"But . . ." the boy stammered from his place still on the ground.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, inwardly gloating over the justified reprimand her teammate just received. "What do you think about all this? There had to be a reason, right?"

"I'm sure there is, Sakura, but now is not the time to be distracted by it. Come on, you two, let's keep moving."

With that said, he turned, and began walking away, assuming the other two would simply follow suit, which they quickly did. Not satisfied with the response, Sakura rushed up to fall into line beside the masked jounin, deciding right time or not, she really needed some answers.

"But it's strange, isn't it?" She continued, ignoring the annoyed look Kakashi now bore. "It's got to be more than just coincidence."

"I agree, but as I said, we'll try to figure this out later. All I know for sure now is that a lot of strange things have happened today and we need to be on guard. I don't think that's the last thing we'll have to deal with today. Just keep alert."

"Right," Sakura agreed, though in all honesty, she'd already been able to assume that on her own. And as they continued for a while longer, the kunoichi constantly reached out with her senses for any possible sign of danger.

Which is why she was so surprised she missed it when that attack finally came. Without warning, she felt a set of arms wrap around her as she was swiftly pulled to the sky, watching while a mass of kunai buried themselves into the ground she'd just been standing on.

"He's good." The grey-haired jounin was so concentrated on looking where the first attack came from they he actually missed the second. But Sakura was a lot more aware of her surroundings now and reached back, accidentally grabbing a set of shuriken from Kakashi's pack rather than her own. She had no time to think on this, however, and threw them at the ones now flying towards them from the other direction, countering each one so they fell to the ground harmlessly.

The two Leaf ninja landed soon after with Kakashi giving Sakura a curious, almost amused look.

"Sorry, I guess I just reached back without thinking." She muttered, looking a little sheepishly to the side.

"What's going on!" Naruto, who had lagged behind, called out loudly as he finally caught up with them.

"We're being attacked. By ninja far more skilled than the last ones." Narrowing his eyes to look into the trees intently, the masked jounin quickly continued, pointing in two directions. "I'll take this one, you two take the other. We'll meet back here, but signal immediately if you get into any trouble."

In an instant, he took to the trees to chase after his chosen opponent.

"Let's go, Sakura!" Naruto shouted, with a near excited grin on his face. She immediately took her place beside him as they jumped onto the tree's branches, trying to capture the trail of their hidden target.

Then from somewhere in front of them, a series of powerful air blades flew out and the two young ninjas quickly ducked and dodged to either side, each getting a few nicks and slices for their effort.

As if just taking an idle walk in the park, a tall thin man with a condescendingly casual air emerged from the leaves out in front of them, wearing a Sound hitai-ate and a smug expression.

"I feel a little slighted. Just two little pups against me? It hardly even seems worth the effort." His voice was like nails on a chalkboard that grated on both their nerves for the dismissive tone it held.

The teammates immediately got to their feet all the while never taking their eyes from the enemy.

"Get behind me, Sakura," Naruto said, gesturing with his hand to do so.

The kunoichi sneered defiantly at the command. "I can fight too, Naruto."

"Yeah, I know." Replied the blonde with a smile as he absently rubbed his chin. "But you're our medic. If something happens to Kakashi-sensei or I, there's no one else who could help us. That's why you became a medic-nin, isn't it? To help your teammates?"

Reluctantly she had to agree with what he said, that was exactly why she chose to train as a medic-nin. But he had another thing coming if he thought she'd just stand by and watch like some weak little girl. "That may be why I became a medic-nin, but I'm also a ninja. I'll let you go on your for now, if you insist. Just so long as you know that if I see you in trouble, I'm stepping in."

Chancing a quick glimpse back, he gave her a wide confident grin. "I'm counting on it."

"As . . . _touching_ as this all is, I really don't care to be a party to it anymore." The creepy ninja rasped out in a bored tone, standing there rather lazily. "I don't want to waste any more time on you children than I have to."

Sakura silently raged at the condescending attitude of the pompous shinobi. How dare he assume they couldn't do anything simply because they were young! Age had nothing to do with talent or power! She was about to shout out something to this effect, but Naruto beat her to it.

"You'll be sorry if you underestimate us." His voice was deadly calm, even scary.

"Oh, is that so?" replied the arrogant man dully.

"Ready?" Sakura could almost hear the smirk she knew her teammate must be wearing.

The other ninja merely quirked an eyebrow, acting as if they were speaking of playing with dice rather than with their lives.

Both took their fighting stances, ready to attack and ready to defend, although the kunoichi noticed the Sound-nin remained a bit careless in his defense, clearly refusing to take them seriously. Such arrogance was sure to be his downfall, or so Sakura believed. When she switched her attention back to her partner, she saw him pool his power, and caught the barest hints of red chakra begin to seep out and surround his frame.

Kyuubi? He's using Kyuubi now? He usually would attack with his own chakra first, only relying on the fox's when it was necessary. So why use it now, before the battle had even begun?

There was but a moment for her to contemplate this fact before the strike came.

And it came so swiftly and unexpectedly, they were all surprised when an angry gaping hole appeared in the chest of the Sound-nin, him most of all. Sakura was sure the look of utter shock she saw on the man's face was mirrored in her own and likely Naruto's as well. Her mind had barely registered the familiar chi-chi-chi sound. It was then that she oddly remembered that it had been a jutsu originally designed for assassination. It was clear to her now why.

The creepy ninja now turned to face his attacker whom Sakura recognized from her vantage point a little to the side of the fight, and the pink-haired girl saw his eyes, if possible, widen further. Watching his reaction, Sakura wondered if he'd recognized that chakra, but was so easily caught because he'd never suspected that to be attacked by someone supposedly his ally. Then, as the life quickly ebbed from his face, he slipped from the branch of the tree; forgotten, revealing the ninja who'd claimed his life.

Sasuke's cold dark eyes slowly focused on his old teammates making Sakura involuntarily gasp at the way they seemed to bore through her, the way they intensified to rage.

"Sa . . ." Naruto started, confused, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

But he never had the chance to get the remainder of the name out since said ninja sped towards him and, grabbing him by the shoulders, slammed the blond hard against the tree behind him.

"What the . . .?" Naruto stammered, but again got no more words out before being thrown back once more.

Sakura watched in increasing horror at the scene playing out before her, so shocked at it that for a while all she could do _was_ watch.

"Stop. Using. That. Chakra." Sasuke spat the words out viciously, punctuating each one with a violent slam against the tree trunk that was now beginning to splinter and break beneath Naruto's body.

The kunoichi couldn't believe what she was seeing. Had they just been saved by Sasuke only to be brutally killed by those same hands?

As she saw Naruto's eyes start to cloud over, she finally came back to her senses, knowing she was the only left to get things back under some kind of control.

"Stop it!" She cried desperately, rushing to grab the crazed ninja from behind. "Are you trying to kill him!"

But it seemed that's exactly what he was trying to do, because he still didn't stop, repeating his litany and continuing his assault. Sakura knew she had to end this before some irreparable damage was done of who knows what kind, so using her now inhuman strength, she tugged backwards. Somehow she managed to pull Sasuke off the boy who had now slumped over, apparently no longer able to stay conscious.

"Stop it, Sasuke! Please!" She begged even as he continued to struggle in her hold, seemingly trying to renew his attack on the unconscious blond.

But slowly, while she tightened her hold on him, his fighting lessened until at last his body went still. After a little more time, she felt his ragged breathing return to normal, his racing heartbeat slow, and a semblance of calm return to him. Afraid that he'd launch himself once again at Naruto if she let go, she kept her arms where they were, hoping that he'd regained some control over his emotions. And as she held on, she allowed herself the satisfaction of knowing she did have some effect on him after all.

"Hey Sakura."

The low voice snapped her from her thoughts.

"You can let go now."

Part of her didn't want to let go, feared that that was precisely what she shouldn't do. But another part told her that she ought to give way to his almost obliging attitude, that it was better to comply or risk him running away. Besides, she had a sneaking suspicion that if he'd really wanted to escape; he would have tried to do so already. Her latter half won.

She prayed it was right.

Reluctantly, she released her hold and moved to stand beside him, trying to hide the worry that threatened to show in her green eyes.

Then the raven-haired teen turned to her, and stared a while as if it were the first time he'd laid eyes on the girl. She held her breath when a calm but confused expression took his face, so different in contrast to the feral one she'd just seen him wearing.

"You know," he said softly, his expression flat and unyielding. She was a little wary of what was to come next and attempted to brace herself. "Your hair is pink."

What?

"What?" She asked, completely thrown by the irrelevant statement.

"Your hair." he repeated, his old, familiar smirk in place, just shy of a smile. "Is pink."

Sakura looked at him, baffled and a little worried that maybe he'd gone crazy and that explained all his bizarre behavior today. Trying to imagine what those words and that look meant, but her attention was soon drawn away by a grumbling movement elsewhere.

The two of them turned their eyes to this new development, though the strangeness between them still remained, heavy in the air that surrounded them.

"OUCH! That hurt!" The new development shouted, scowling fiercely and rubbing the back of his head.

He swiftly returned to his feet, continuing his tirade. "What the hell did you do that for!"

Sasuke didn't move or speak, even when Naruto charged.

And then the strangeness and the moment were gone.

* * *

Absently, she poked a stray stick into the base of the fire, mixing the embers, keeping it alight.

Those words still echoes in her mind. Pink? What did that have to do with anything? And why had he looked at her as if it was the first time he'd ever noticed that fact? She had a feeling there was more to it, that it was important, but she couldn't figure out why.

But she let the questions drift away. There were greater things to think and worry about than the color of her hair.

Her mind remained troubled with uncertainties, and yet her spirits were relatively high. As much as Naruto's situation worried her, she knew he was strong and would never let anything beat him. As much as Sasuke's situation worried her, she knew there was still time, the limit was closing in but not yet reached.

And as much as she once felt she didn't matter, she found out she did.

She looked to those who had gathered here. To one side she saw Lee and Gai, who had just gotten off watch, talking animatedly, probably about some new taijutsu or about the merit of hard work. Catching her looking, Lee waved happily, though he didn't approach, probably realizing she'd rather be alone right now. She waved back, thinking about how, in his own odd weird way, he reminded her of what ultimately is really important in life. The simple things, the simple moments spent with those you care about. Even in their dark situation, he found joy in talking with his teacher about ordinary matters.

The she looked to the other side where she saw Naruto sitting alone. She considered going over to him, but stopped herself when she saw Kakashi walk up and sit down beside him instead. The blond was talking very quietly, and she couldn't help but think how different he was from the boy she'd first met those years ago. It was a little sad, in a way, to see him lose a little of that rambunctiousness. But he was still Naruto, still could irritate and worry her, make her laugh, make her yell, and make her want to hug him and hit him all at the same time. He was different, but the same. It made her smile.

Turning her attention back to the fiery warmth, she allowed her spirits to rise further. There were so many friends, so many allies, so many people to help and look out for each other. As much as the life of a shinobi was difficult and often painful, she allowed herself to also accept the many wonderful aspects of it as well. Perhaps emotions were not meant to play a role in a shinobi's life, but that didn't prevent those precious bonds from forming all the same.

And as she sat surrounded by friends and allies, she felt a certain hope, the first step in a trail that led them here. The first real justified hope she'd allowed herself in a long, long time.

She felt this hope was like water, trickling through your fingers when you tried to catch it, but still leaving the tiniest of pools cupped gently in the palms of your hands. One careless move and the rest would just fall away. They needed a way to freeze it, make it a solid thing to hold before it evaporated into the air. But that was silly, hope was not a thing you could force to your own will, not when it relied on not just you, but so many others as well.

But she would cup her hands anyway, and believe that the one so far away did too, because now it seemed he might. She believed he was still alive because he was still needed, because after everything they'd all been through fate wouldn't be so unkind as to take him away like that. So she held onto her belief in him, in the strange change she'd seen, and believed in all the Leaf shinobi, that together they could bring an end to at least part of the nightmare of the last few years.

Because now she found it easier to believe that at least part of him wanted that same thing.

All her friends were strong, all her friends were good-hearted, a group so undivided couldn't possibly fail.

She was sure of that.

As long as there was still time, there was still hope.

And when she slept that night, for the first time in a long time, her dreams were sweet.

Tbc . . .


	6. Chapter 6: Kyuubi no Kitsune

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-san.

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: OK, so I'm not sure what I wrote here is even plausible, but for the sake of plot, I'm putting it in. And, oh yes, Sasuke is really bitter and conflicted, but 2 + years with a snake can do that to you. But I don't think he's exactly wrong.

To my reviewers-  
Tanuki-dono: I agree with you about the whole third wheel, Sakura-bashing thing, and it always irritated me too. Especially the Sakura-bashing. I neither like nor dislike her, but I find that in a lot of stories, even ones I like, that she's portrayed way OOC. Always so much meaner and simpler than she really is. And I just think that's unfair. That's why I wanted to write this as a connection between the three. (I do think she plays a lesser part, but an important one) And I am still working on this regularly, it's just that some chapters give me more trouble than others. I'm happy you like it so far, hope you still will . .(crosses fingers)

WolfBane2: I know it's long, but the relationship between these characters and the characters themselves are so complicated it kinda makes me ramble. Please bear with me. The next three chapters after this monster will likely be shorter. But as far as not liking Sasuke, that's not true! I seriously _adore_ Sasuke (and Naruto)! It's just that he's so twisted and conflicted and in denial, so that's how I have to write him. Plus I think he needs to go through a different kind of suffering to figure things out. But I'm really glad you liked the "false Kabuto" scene. I wasn't sure how it would work.

Anyhow, thanks for the reviews!

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

Kyuubi no Kitsune

The night seemed oppressive to him, despite the cheery fire and the warmth of friends. But then, he'd distanced himself from them, figuring was better to be alone when he got like this, the others would just worry over him if he didn't act his usual hyperactive self. He just wasn't in the best of moods, and unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, he knew the reasons why. And his nerves were on edge because of it.

It had gotten increasingly worse in the weeks between, no matter how he tried to fight it.

There wasn't much cause for it, so he told himself, everything was under control. Yeah, that's right. Nothing to worry about.

But his nerves weren't exactly listening. Maybe if it was one thing, or even two, rather than everything. Well, that was maybe a little of an exaggeration. It wasn't everything, it just felt like it.

Seriously, how was he supposed to keep the Kyuubi under control if it really didn't want to be? He had thought they'd struck a bargain, the fox got to use his body, he got to use its chakra. Simple, right?

Unless that was the problem. Maybe he'd given the fox a little _too much_ free reign. But it's not like he was becoming the Nine-tails or anything, he still felt like he always had, like the same old Uzumaki Naruto. He'd thought he and Kyuubi were working together, equals as much as they could be, with him just a little bit more in charge. It was his body after all, wasn't it? He'd thought he had everything under control.

And then there was Sasuke.

Why'd he have to come in and mess everything up? Why'd he have to come in and point out things he'd rather not believe?

Why'd he have to come in and make it seem like he cared?

Why was he the one to see things his other friends hadn't, that just didn't seem fair somehow. He was the one that betrayed them, he's the one who left them behind, he's the one who made Sakura cry. Again. Well, OK, that was a little his own fault too, but it was _mostly_ Sasuke. Anyway, what gave that jerk the right to just waltz back in and try and act the hero? The blonde was angry about it, in a way that didn't entirely make sense. The problem was, he wasn't quite sure who he was really mad at, Sasuke for telling him, Sakura for not, or himself for handling the situation all wrong.

Or maybe he just hated Orochimaru for destroying it all, both then and now. Yeah, that was a lot easier.

Then he didn't have to worry about all the complications between them, all the things he just couldn't quite get about Sasuke and their 'whatever' relationship.

It was just like when they were kids, understanding each other, but never understanding, ultimately resorting to fighting because it's the one level where they could at least pretend things were simple.

Even if, just like back then, they knew things never were.

But really, that's what he was most angry at, the way Sasuke had decided on violence like always, oversimplifying things, trying to avoid the distractions in his own mind. Trying to deny reality. Naruto wasn't stupid, he knew what the other was trying to do. Sasuke was the stupid one. Idiot.

But then he hesitated, made them think he really might come back, made it seem like he might actually have a brain in that skull of his somewhere.

Who knows? Maybe he does, but it didn't make a difference once everything was ruined.

It wasn't fair and now things were worse than before because time was nearly up and Sasuke was in trouble and waiting somewhere. Naruto decided that's what he was doing now, waiting. Jerk, making them do all the work.

And he was supposed to do all this without Kyuubi's help, was he? Talk about a major handicap. He just didn't see how could accomplish anything that was needed without the Nine-Tails' chakra.

It looked like the he was going to have to break that promise. Except a promise wasn't really a promise when nothing was decided, nothing set in stone. Sasuke had, after all, never answered.

Or had he?

* * *

A few spare leaves whirled around as the remnants of the wind attack still lingered slightly in the air. As he crouched in the tree, having just avoided a sudden attack from their hidden enemy, he found himself excited abut this fight, despite the danger. He caught a few nicks in his clothes, cuts through his skin, and a touch of blood leaked out. He was hardly concerned, they were small and would heal soon.

He glanced over to Sakura and saw they she'd had the same reaction, and was safely to the side of the attack, a couple lines of blood trickling down her leg. They were a little worse than his, but were not much to worry over either. Well, he was relieved at that.

"I feel a little slighted." Instantly his attention was drawn away by an annoyingly patronizing voice. When he looked up, he saw a creepy Sound-nin standing lazily before them. "Just two little pups against me? It hardly even seems worth the effort."

Naruto got to his feet, his blood beginning to boil. Not only was this guy an arrogant bastard, but it had been a long time since he'd gotten to go all out in a fight. And after the events of earlier in the day, his nerves were worn raw. He really needed to let off a little steam.

"Get behind me, Sakura." He waved his hand in that direction, so intent on having his fight that he didn't stop to think how little the kunoichi would like being told what to do.

"I can fight too, Naruto." She snapped, the irritation clear in her voice.

"Yeah, I know." He massaged his jaw, remembering just how well she could hit. "But you're our medic. If something happens to Kakashi-sensei or I, there's no one else who could help us. That's why you became a medic-nin, isn't it? To help your teammates?"

He was trying to make it sound like he was looking out for her, or that it was her duty to act a certain way, though as a medic-nin it sort of was. But the real truth of the matter was that he really wanted to fight. And he wanted to fight alone.

Sakura finally agreed, even if she didn't sound too happy about it. "That may be why I became a medic-nin, but I'm also a ninja. I'll let you go on your own for now, if you insist. Just so long as you know that if I see you in trouble, I'm stepping in."

Yeah, no kidding. But he turned his head around and smiled. "I'm counting on it."

"As . . . _touching_ as this all is, I really don't care to be a party to it anymore. I don't want to waste any more time on you children than I have to."

Egotistical asshole. Well, Naruto could teach him a thing or two about taking others too lightly. He found that he was looking at the oncoming battle with an almost sick anticipation. "You'll be sorry if you underestimate us."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Ready?"

That creepy Sound-nin still wasn't taking them seriously at all, and he was going to pay for that. It was never wise to think little of Uzumaki Naruto. And right now, he just wanted to fight, let loose his frustrations, and this man was giving him the outlet he needed.

The blonde began pulling out his chakra for an attack, feeling the power it gave him, readying himself to make the first strike.

But out of nowhere someone else beat him to it.

His sensitive ears caught the familiar sound of the chidori and he was both angry and curious as to how Kakashi had reached them so quickly.

Except it didn't feel like Kakashi.

Before he had time to think on that though, he saw a large hole appear in the chest of the Sound-nin quickly dying in front of him. Naruto stared saucer-eyed wondering how the ninja had been caught so much off-guard that he was taken down in one blow. Well, that's what happens when you think too highly of yourself, and too little of others. Served him right.

Wait. Did he just think it served him right to die? Why would he think that?

Nervously shifting his gaze to the side at the sickening thought that had just entered his mind, he saw the ninja fall from the tree from the corner of his eye. And in his place he saw Sasuke, burning his angry hateful stare right into the blonde's own.

"Sa . . ." Stunned at the turn of events, Naruto tried to squeak out the name but a streak of black came rushing toward him, cutting off his words. His mind was a mass of confusion, so that even when he was being thrown against the trunk of the tree, he barely registered the pain. What the hell was going on! Why was Sasuke here, why had he killed the Sound-nin? And why was he now attacking _him_? He was so distracted with trying to figure this out, that he could only stutter wordlessly each time he was struck against the tree with increasing force.

Through his haze he just made out the words the furious ninja was shouting out at him. "Stop. Using. That. Chakra." What exactly did that mean? What chakra? Wha. .?

He was having a really hard time concentrating now. He should be fighting back, he should, but his mind wouldn't work anymore, just repeating the mantra "why, why, why?"

Somewhere outside his head he heard Sakura scream and then the weight that was Sasuke was lifted away.

He tried to stay conscious, he really did. He couldn't.

Slowly, or so it seemed to him, he finally struggled back to waking. The first thing he felt was the angry lump on the back of his head, reminding him of just where he was and who he was with. Sasuke had attacked him for absolutely no reason! What was going on here!

"OUCH! That hurt!" He rubbed his bruised skull momentarily before getting to his feet. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Looking at the other two as they quietly turned to face him, Sakura with a baffled expression, he had the feeling he was interrupting something. But he really didn't care. He was angry and the source of most of his frustration was standing right in front of him.

So without further thought, he raced forward and punched Sasuke right in the center of his arrogant face. The raven-haired boy only stumbled back, typical sneer in place, as he slowly wiped away the trail of blood trickling from his nose.

"What is your fucking problem!" Naruto barked as he watched the other teen regain his footing.

"You're the problem. You're so stupid that you don't even know." Sasuke stared back with anger in his eyes, trying to keep his composure. But the longer he stared, the more his precious control rapidly unraveled. The next words were hissed through his gritted teeth. "Stop using that chakra."

"What chakra?" But Sasuke didn't answer. Instead, the blonde watched as he clenched his fists tighter and tighter, watched as his rage grew and grew, even watched as he raced forward, ready to attack. But Naruto was prepared and countered the fist with his arm, but unfortunately not the knee that came up swiftly to hit him in the stomach. He doubled over, looking up furiously at his old friend.

"What chakra?" He repeated. Despite how angry he was, how much he just wanted to fight, he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that this was important.

"What chakra?" It was clear Sasuke was quickly losing what little patience he had. "What chakra! That red one, you idiot!" And again he aimed a fist to Naruto's face, connecting this time, but then the blonde swept a leg beneath the other's feet causing the black-haired boy to fall backward, landing hard.

"You're the idiot, idiot!" And suddenly Naruto was charging again, but at that moment Sasuke leaned back, getting a grip on the branch and caught the blonde's chin with his foot as he flipped backwards. He was once again on his feet, but couldn't avoid the kick Naruto then aimed straight to his chest, pushing him backward. The two stared each other down, arms back ready to strike, apparently content to simply beat each other up for the hell of it.

"Stop it, both of you! Why do you always have to do this!" Out of nowhere, Sakura planted herself between the two, arms out to either side, miraculously stopping them before they ended up hitting her. For whatever reason, both boys lowered their arms, and simply continued to glare at each other.

"How can you not see it?" Sasuke snapped finally, his breathing ragged.

"What?" Sakura and Naruto asked simultaneously, looking to him in uncertainty.

His attention concentrated solely on the boy, the missing-nin continued, voice sharp as a blade. "Look at yourself. You don't look the same, in fact you look wrong. It happens every time you use that chakra, only now it's sticking and it's even worse than before. How can you be such a moron that you didn't even notice!" His stare intensified dangerously. "Your eyes are almost purple. Your scars are way too wide and your teeth, they're like a damn animal's. And I bet it's been this way for a long time. It's like you're not even human anymore." The fierce dark eyes bore deep into Naruto's blue (or were they now purple?) ones with anger and something else the boy couldn't name. The whole situation was unnerving.

Then the raven-haired teen's voice lowered to barely a whisper as he looked down and away, shaking his head. "Idiot. The Naruto I know would never let himself be used like that."

Naruto's eyes were wide as he absorbed every harsh and biting word Sasuke had said, sounding as if he were blaming him. Though somewhere deep down, Naruto thought he heard concern and even disappointment in there too.

But at the moment the foxboy was too overwhelmed with taking in the implications of what he'd just been told to fully grasp this. Was it true? Was he really losing control? As if searching for a denial to those words, he turned to Sakura who wore the same shocked expression as she stared into his face.

"Oh my God, " She whispered, her hand going to her open mouth. And now he knew it was true.

Dejected and confused, the blonde turned his apparently now fox-slit eyes to the ground. "Kyuubi."

He could almost feel the other boy tense at the word, feel the girl pull into herself as she too realized the full impact of what that meant.

"Oh, Naruto. I'm sorry . ." The kunoichi allowed her thought to trail off unfinished.

"The demon?" Sasuke snorted derisively, breaking into the two's moment. "Of course. That explains everything, doesn't it? No wonder you could always do things you shouldn't be able to. No wonder you were always better. No wonder you were always so fucking _special_."

Special? _Special! _Some things never did change. All that stupid bastard could see was the power the Kyuubi brought, none of the pain, none of the alienation. That jerk was always like this, only looking at one aspect, never seeing the full picture.

"How can you say that?" Naruto could feel every last bit of his precious reserve breaking, could feel Sakura wince reflexively beside him. "How can you possibly know what it's like to have a demon inside you?"

As if sensing him falling over the edge, Sakura turned all her attention to her teammate for the moment, placing both hands gently on his chest. "Please Naruto, calm down. Let's not fight here. OK?"

"You think I don't know what it's like to carry a demon?"

The two friends looked to the dark-eyed teen who regarded them with frustration and just a hint of sorrow.

But Naruto wasn't going to let him off easy. They weren't the same. Kyuubi was a creature unto itself, a voice in his mind, a presence thrust onto to him without his consent, a thing that could clearly never be fully controlled. Sasuke's curse may have been given unwillingly, but he could control it if he really wanted. He made the decision not to.

"A curse seal isn't the same thing."

"That's not what I was talking about."

The two Leaf ninja looked at him in genuine confusion.

"Sasuke-kun, what?" Sakura ventured gently.

"How would you like to lose everything, _everything_, in one damn minute?" The raven-haired teen spat out.

Somewhere inside of him, Naruto couldn't help feeling sorry for Sakura, she just seemed so at a loss.

But he brushed that aside for the moment, because he'd had enough.

Despite the pity he could feel for Sasuke, the understanding, the guilt even, right now all he really felt was the anger at his complete and total selfishness.

Stupid Sasuke.

"You lost everything?" Any signs of compassion he might once have shown had completely vanished. "Are you so blind you couldn't see what was right in front of you? Everyone loved you. It was always 'Sasuke this' and 'Sasuke that'. Everyone looked at you, everyone expected things from you, you got every break imaginable. And even after turning your back on it, even after betraying your own home, they'll still welcome you back with open arms. Their goddamn precious little Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Yeah, right! What would you know!" The black-clad teen's spite was unexpectedly heavy in the air. "You think they care about me? Don't kid yourself!" His voice grew sharper and more bitter as he spoke, causing Sakura to flinch noticeably. "They don't care about me. The only reason they want me back is because I'm the last of the Uchiha, one of the strongest clans of their precious village! Keeper of the sharingan eye! All they ever see when they look at me is a name, a kekkai genkai they can manipulate to their own advantage! All they want is the 'Uchiha', they never gave a damn about 'Sasuke'! You think they ever even knew who I was? You think they ever cared? Not as long as they had the sharingan, what difference did it make? So what do I have to do? Give you my eyes, give you my blood? That's all they want anyway. Maybe then you'll leave me the fuck alone!"

"That's right. It's always all about you! You're such a goddamn idiot! You think _I'm_ special? You're the one who thinks he's so damn special! You think you're the only one who's been alone? The only one who's been in pain? You think no one else knows what it's like to be seen for something you're not! Try being a jinchuuriki sometime!"

Sasuke was always like that, unable to see beyond his own little bubble. Unable to see the similarities between them, and only seeing the differences. Naruto wondered if the idiot ever used the brain he supposedly had.

Stupid Sasuke.

Stupid self-centered Sasuke.

Well, if he wanted to play the 'who's-suffered-more' game, than Naruto would show him a thing or two.

"You were always loved and admired. I was always hated! Ignored and spat at, having to hear them whispering behind my back. For something that wasn't even my fault! For something I didn't even know about! I was hated by everyone and I didn't even know why!"

"I was 'loved and admired'! You're as bad as all of them, confusing me with a name. Constantly having people staring and talking about the 'Uchiha boy', about who I was supposed to be, not who I was! What the hell kind of 'love' is that!"

"An arrogant bastard like you loved all the attention and all the people falling over themselves to get close to you!"

"When! When did I ever care about what other people thought!"

"All the time, you fucking self-centered bastard!"

"STOP IT!"

And suddenly both boys were reminded of the third person with them as she demanded to be heard.

"Please, both of you. Stop this. Why do you always have to be this way? Why can't you stop fighting and see what you really have?"

Sakura started to cry, the tears tumbling from her eyes as she tried to keep her shaking voice under control. And for some unknown reason the other two remained silent, allowing the girl her say, even though they were both still seething inside.

"I'm sorry. Sasuke-kun, Naruto. I really am. Because I was one of them, too. I treated you the way everyone did because I thought I knew what things were like. But I was wrong. And I'm sorry. And I know I can't really understand what your lives were like, but things are different now. I see you as you really are and I still love you. Why can't you see that you have each other, that you have me? Why can't you see how everyone cares? Aren't we like a family? I know it sounds a little weird, but I still think it's true. And I know you already know this Naruto. That we're at least part of the family you always wanted. So why can't you stop fighting and embrace it?"

Naruto watched as the pink-haired girl spoke, hiccupping through her words, choking back her emotions. His fight with Sasuke temporarily forgotten, he wanted to reassure her.

"Sakura-chan, I. . ."

"Shut up, I'm not finished!"

The blond flinched, afraid of incurring her full wrath. He looked away, oddly noticing that although he seemed annoyed, Sasuke was still quiet. Sakura continued, voice lowered, her eyes watery with tears.

"And what about you, Sasuke-kun? Why can't you accept it? What's _wrong_ with you that you can't accept it? I know there's nothing that can ever replace what you lost. I know that. But we're a family too. Why can't you just let us be one? Why do you insist on wallowing in your sorrow when we're here to help you out? You'll never be happy that way. Vengeance won't make things right. Your brother's death won't bring your family back. I know you know this. So why? Why do you have to close yourself off from the people who love you, who want to help you? I don't know why you have to make things so hard. Because they don't have to be this way. What do you care if Konoha only wants the 'Uchiha' back? I thought you didn't care about them. So forget them then! _We_ want Sasuke back! What about us!"

Sakura broke down then, weeping into her hands, the powerful tears and wracking sobs trembling through her.

"I don't understand you two sometimes. Fighting when we should be going home."

And that was the last thing she managed to choke out before completely losing the last shreds of her composure. Naruto looked to her with pity and sadness, wanting to comfort her but not knowing how.

Then he turned to Sasuke who still stood silent, oddly detached as if he were somewhere else. The dark-haired teen wore a vacant stare, looking far into the distance like he wasn't paying attention, but when the blonde looked closer he saw an expression almost devoid of hate or malice, showing mainly intense concentration. That's when he realized.

Sasuke was thinking.

And Sasuke never thinks.

Sakura was right, it was just that Naruto always seemed to forget once they were together again and the fighting began. They were a family. And maybe, just maybe, Sasuke was realizing this too. There was a slim chance that now Naruto could actually change the boy's mind. He knew for his sake, for all their sakes, he had to try. So he used the only leverage he thought he might have.

"Sasuke. I'll stop using the Kyuubi's chakra . . ." He started, still a little unsure of his decision, but determined all the same. ". . .if you come home with us."

After all that the black-haired teen had done today, Naruto had to believe that he did care, that this was important enough that it might work. Even if he knew it was a mostly hollow promise. He would never be able to completely detach himself from Kyuubi, but Sasuke didn't have to know that, he just had to believe it.

Both the other ninjas turned to Naruto wide-eyed, surprised at the deal they'd probably never expected him to offer. But Sakura's red-rimmed gaze soon changed to hope as she began glancing from one boy to the other.

Sasuke's face, however, after his initial shock, shadowed over as his eyes narrowed, closing off any unwanted thoughts. He wasn't saying anything, but Naruto knew he'd touched on something vital. Because Sasuke, despite himself, was considering. The blonde saw the conflict evident on the teen's face, confusion, wonder, anger, his emotions were running the gamut. He could tell Sasuke didn't want to agree, was refusing to agree, but was also growing more and more furious with his inability to just say so.

Sasuke was struggling with himself and it was the first tangible evidence of hope and intelligence they'd had from him since he left.

"I . . ." The raven-haired teen began, his intent unreadable. His fists opened and closed reflexively, his jaw grinding, while he stared intently at Naruto.

There was moment of silence embracing the three, hovering somewhere between hope and fear.

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak again, but instead of speaking, his dark eyes shot open wide in shock and pain a second before he was thrown to his knees, his forehead pressing to the bark of the tree.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Sakura tried to run to the boy as he doubled over, fiercely gripping the nape of his neck, but found she was unable to move, her legs held in place somehow. Tilting her head down to glance at her feet, she screamed. Naruto watched in bleak horror as snakes wound their way up her legs, holding her where she stood. Then he felt something crawling up his own, and looking down, saw another horde of gruesome serpents winding themselves around him as well like some vicious writhing chain.

"Damn snakes!" He cried, trying to reach for a kunai. But the reptiles only climbed higher, up his torso, over his arms, stopping all his movements, trying to take control. He cursed, unable to break free. He had to do something, his friends needed him.

Somewhere, Sakura screamed and struggled.

And somewhere else, Sasuke was curled up, gritting his teeth and clutching his neck as if his life depended on it.

Maybe it did.

Then suddenly Sasuke was gone, barely conscious, carried like so much dead weight in Kabuto's arms. What was going on now! Naruto looked up in hatred as his friend was held limply by the medic-nin as he glared down at them in disdain and annoyingly enough, amusement.

"Let him go!" The blond yelled, as if he had any power to do anything. He tried again to gain his freedom, but it was all for naught, he couldn't budge an inch. Where had all these damn snakes come from?

"No. I think not." Kabuto replied, rather matter-of-factly. "Not after all the trouble we went through to trap him."

The medic-nin stared down at them, a malicious grin on his arrogant face. Dammit! Why did he have to show up at the worst possible time? They were so close and now everything was ruined, they were back at the beginning or worse.

"What do you mean trap!" Naruto shouted, buying time, as he tried to figure out a way to get free.

"You're not very smart, are you, Kyuubi?" Oh, Naruto hated him, hated his pompous attitude, and he really, really hated the way he was referred to as 'Kyuubi', especially in light of recent events.

"The chuunin, Naruto." Sakura had stopped screaming, finally realizing that the snakes' only purpose was to hold them, and not attack.

Oh. That meant that Sasuke . . .

"Since the last time you three met, we suspected that he'd betray us, we just needed to catch him the act, so to speak." Kabuto explained, glancing down to his unconscious bundle. "But he was a little trickier than I'd expected. Clever boy. He actually forced me to send out even more ninja just to draw him out. Ah, no matter, if they couldn't beat the likes of you, they were useless anyway."

"Bastard. Fight me!" Naruto resumed his struggle against his snake restraints, tried to anyway, but he still couldn't seem to move. He wanted to scream, cry, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. "Fight me!"

"No, I don't really much care for fighting. And I really don't have the time. I have Orochimaru-sama's pet back and that's all I really needed." Kabuto wore the same condescending sneer, but seemed a little distracted. "Besides, you have company. I don't feel like dealing with you now. More important things and all."

Just as the medic-nin took flight, a flash of something unknown followed and without any warning, both Sakura and Naruto were freed, tumbling forward, the snakes vanishing in a puff of smoke. Immediately, Naruto got to his feet, trying to make chase. He couldn't lose now that they were so close! That goddamn bastard! Why were they constantly on the brink of success only to be interrupted, having everything ruined?

"Naruto! Stop right there!" Kakashi's demanding voice actually did freeze the boy in his tracks. "Didn't I already tell you not to go off on your own?"

Turning around with a scowl on his face, the blonde whined. "But Kakashi-sensei, that was Kabuto and Sasuke . . ."

"I'm well aware of that. And that's exactly why we're not following. Kabuto's a lot more dangerous than he lets on. Even I might have some trouble against him, especially since he's likely improved over the past two years. Plus, you'd have to fight him without hurting Sasuke. You think that would all be easy? _And_ he wasn't alone, there was another ninja somewhere casting a pretty powerful genjutsu, or didn't you notice? Although I'm a little surprised you didn't see it, Sakura. What exactly was going on here?" The jounin helpedthe slightly dazedgirl to her feet as she looked guiltily to the side. Actually, Naruto could guess why, hehad also beentoo preoccupied with Sasuke at the time to notice a lot of things. Dammit, how had he allowed himself to get so distracted? "They seem to be gone now, but I wouldn't take things easy, either. There could be even more around here, though I don't sense any. Looks like they got what they wanted and left in a hurry."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why would he just leave us here?" The kunoichi asked, finally finding her voice.

The jounin thought for a moment. "Well, if I were to guess, I'd say it's because there's not much time. He probably didn't want to take the chance, no matter how slim, that we would beat them. Securing Sasuke for the soul transfer is more important than defeating us right now. And they're likely preparing for an attack on Konoha or another village soon. Who really knows? But I think he was expecting those ninja to divert us longer than they did. And I suspect he's got other things on his mind." Then the gray-haired man turned to Naruto. "But their distraction works to our advantage."

"How?" The blond shouted, unable to follow his leader's thinking. "He's got Sasuke again and I doubt he's gonna go easy on him now. We should've followed him, then we'd know where Orochimaru is and we could get Sasuke back . ."

"And walk right into the snake's lair? A jounin, a chuunin, and a genin," Naruto winced at the unintended insult. "Against Orochimaru, Kabuto, and whatever other underlings he has at his disposal? No, I think we should consider ourselves fortunate that we weren't important enough to bother with." Kakashi smiled reassuringly. "As long as the weather holds, Pakkun should be able to track them this time."

"Pakkun?" Naruto said, brightening, getting the meaning at last.

"And in the meantime, we inform the Hokage so she can decide what to do. Trust me, this is very lucky for us. Orochimaru's arrogance has finally made a slip." The gray-haired man paused a moment. "So, which of you wants to tell me what happened here?"

"Uh, " Naruto stammered. "How about we tell you on the way?"

The boy knew he'd have to face what had happened, what had been said, but he didn't feel so bad about it anymore. Maybe things weren't as horrible as he thought. This was the chance they'd been seeking for so long, wasn't it?

The blonde actually smiled a genuine smile, and looking to Sakura, finally received a shy one in return.

* * *

The stars in the sky looked back at him as he stared into the distance. He could just make out the hushed chatter of the other members of the group as they gathered around the fire.

It made him feel separate.

He'd always known he was different, but the acuteness of it was something that had only just returned to him. And if he didn't do something about it, he knew everything could be ruined. He needed to get Kyuubi under control or once again he'd be feared and loathed for something that this time could really be considered his fault. He'd become the monster they always said he was.

And as if that wasn't enough, there was Sasuke.

Stupid Sasuke.

He sighed so unlike himself, trying to look into an unknown shadowy future. It was going to be a lot of hard work. Again. He knew he could do it, beat the Kyuubi, bring Sasuke back, and help defeat Orochimaru. But was it really fair he had to deal with so many things at once? All he needed was for the Akatsuki to show up and things would be just perfect.

He felt the presence of his former teacher as he settled down beside him. Taking a sidelong glance at the gray-haired jounin, the blonde wondered why the man was remaining so atypically quiet. It wasn't like him to walk over, sit down, and do nothing. He sighed again.

"What do you want?" Naruto finally grumbled out, disgusted with Kakashi's 'polite' silence.

"I don't want anything," The jounin replied smoothly. "But I do think there's something you want to talk about."

"No I don't." The blonde jutted out his lower lip in a boyish pout.

"Hn . ." Kakashi just stared into the distance with his one eye, feigning disinterest, but not even Naruto was fooled.

"Do you think I'll be able to control it?" He'd actually been avoiding this conversation, but it seemed it had finally caught up with him.

"Well, with everyone's help and your own determination, I'm sure you'll be fine. But it's going to be very difficult."

"Hn. Great. Like I didn't have enough to worry about already."

"I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier, Naruto." The jounin seemed genuinely contrite.

"It's alright." The blonde gave him a smile. "I mean, in a weird way, it's kind of better it turned out like this, don't you think?" The man simply gave him a curious look. "Well, you know, I don't feel any different, not really. So it was probably caught early enough to do something about it, right? And if you or Sakura, had said something earlier, I might've found a way to handle it. Then Sasuke wouldn't have had an excuse to see us."

"You have a very interesting way of looking at things." The masked ninja turned a hidden grin to his former student who returned it in kind.

As they sat together in companionable silence, the boy thought it all over. Yeah, he'd get that fox under control, eventually. And in just a couple weeks more, the Sound would be defeated, and Sasuke would be back home.

Not the Sasuke that had left almost three years ago, nor the Sasuke he'd met in that little nowhere town, not even the Sasuke that had come to warn him today. No, when Sasuke finally came home, it would the one he hated and loved, the one he fought with and saved, the one he'd envied and admired. The one who saw him in that same way.

That's just who Sasuke really was

When he finally came home, it would be as his best friend.

That's what Naruto believed. And what Naruto believed, he always fought for until it was achieved.

That's just who Naruto really was.

And that's just how it was supposed to be.


	7. Chapter 7: It's OK, Sakura

Disclaimer: Still not mine, Naruto that is. This crazy story unfortunately, is all me.

Rated: T, language only

Notes: For what it's worth, these next three chapters will be a little different, and a bit shorter. And I had no spell or grammar check this time around, so there may be some mistakes. I'll do my best to check it again when I get the chance.

This happens a couple weeks after the last meeting.

And thanks to koriaena who gave me two, wait three (!) reviews and for pointing out that mistake. Stupid grammar check! It should be fixed now.

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

It's OK, Sakura

Right before the Leaf Shinobi mounted their attack on Orochimaru's compound, Sakura struck a deal with Naruto. They were not going to allow themselves to get distracted this time, not make any more stupid mistakes. Because that's exactly what happened on their previous encounters with their errant teammate. Had they been thinking straight, staying in the present instead of reverting to the past, they might not find themselves in such grim circumstances as they did now.

They shouldn't have fought with him, they shouldn't have missed the genjutsu, they shouldn't have ended up looking like first year genins.

And she wasn't about to let it happen again. She was determined they stayed focused, regardless of what they found.

The only thing they could do was expect the worst and hope for the best.

There would be no more chances.

So she made Naruto promise to not be pulled in, even when Sasuke tried to open up still raw wounds, rubbing in salt, trying to divert them from the real task at hand. The blonde would have to be the more mature of the two, if that's how things turned out. She couldn't handle the both of them, so he was just going to have to swallow his pride and ignore whatever insults or challenges that might be thrown his way.

They were not going to let their old friend deny it anymore, no matter what.

It seemed clear to her now that that's what he was doing; trying to deny his own reality by pulling them into his distraction.

And she wouldn't let it go that way again. It didn't matter if she understood him, didn't matter if he tried to shut her out. She refused to just sit back and take that for one more second. The three of them would be reunited and that was the end of it. There would be plenty of time to work through all their various issues later, once they were back in Konoha.

She wasn't going to waste any more precious time with that nonsense this time around.

And so she'd made her pact with Naruto.

She just hoped he'd keep to it.

* * *

Through the halls of the Sound compound, their meager group of six had quickly dwindled to two, the others staying behind to tackle individual enemies that they'd encountered along the way. She'd rather have still been working with a full group, but was honestly glad that it was Naruto who remained. He was someone she trusted and knew well, and the one with the best chance, besides herself, to convince Sasuke, should he choose to put up a fight.

She hoped it wouldn't come to that, especially with her reasons to hope against it, but it was always best to be prepared.

The two Leaf ninjas nearly sprinted through the eerily empty corridors of the snake's lair. But Naruto had a lot more stamina than she and it was becoming harder for her to keep up with his merciless pace. She was winded and a little preoccupied with trying not to lag, but not so much so as to let the distinct strangeness go unnoticed. They hadn't come across any resistance in quite a while now. Of course, most of the Sound-nins were being handled by the Konoha forces and the battle was so turbulent that their original group had been able to take easy advantage and sneak in. Nearly all shinobi of any importance had already made their appearance when Leaf first began their assault, even Kabuto. The only one missing was the big snake.

In all the chaos and carnage, he had yet to show, and that did not bode well for the would-be rescuers. Not at all. And the deeper into the fortress they went without incident, the more worried she grew. There were no signs of Orochimaru, but neither were there signs of Sasuke or any life at all for that matter. It felt like they'd been circling a void, making no progress, and soon they will have exhausted any and all possibilities. Anything could have happened and that was a discouraging thought. She bit back her fears and followed along quickly behind a racing Naruto.

She watched as he dashed frantically from room to room, throwing open doors and cursing when each time he found nothing. Deeper and deeper they went, until at last they reached the lowest levels, dark, damp, and cold, meeting only walls and floors of stone.

It was there in the bleak emptiness that she finally caught a slight impression from the one they'd been seeking.

"Naruto, this way!" Taking the lead, the kunoichi traced the very faintest of flickers of the someone they'd once known.

The lack of resistance still unnerved her, but the extreme weakness of the chakra concerned her much more, so she let all other worries slide away for the moment. If someone jumped out to attack them, they'd deal with it, but until such time, forget it.

When they finally reached the last cell, Naruto flung open the door to see inside. And in the otherwise barren room a raven-haired boy lay sprawled as though thrown away, crumpled to the floor, head lolled forward with his hair hiding his face, completely immobile. He looked nothing like the boy from years ago or even weeks ago, but like some empty shell meant to resemble him. Sakura bit her bottom lip in an attempt to calm herself. There was something very wrong with this situation besides the obvious. Sasuke was clearly in no condition to run away, but still, it made no sense to leave him alone. After all the work Orochimaru had put in to claiming his supposed prize, there should have been someone standing guard, but there was no one. There had to be a reason, and it was sure to be a bad one. But she disregarded such things for the moment, needing to check on Sasuke _now_. Overlooking the sudden clench in her chest the prospect caused, Sakura moved forward.

The medic-nin made a quick inspection while Naruto quickly kneeled across from her, concern etching his face. The unconscious teen had welts on his wrists as if he had once been shackled, but there were no chains to be found. Clearly, he'd been moved, and probably sometime recently, but why? And why had been locked up to begin with?

What crime had he committed?

Then she suddenly remembered when last they met and what Kabuto had said and implied. And despite the morbid circumstances, she was comforted. Because in essence, this proved her hopes were valid. With this in mind, she leaned over, taking a closer look at their former teammate.

His breathing was light and shallow and his face held a deathly pallor that made him look more like a corpse than a human. His pulse dangerously weak but still there. She forced herself to calm down, to not think about what terrible state he was in and just concentrate on her task. On further examination, she saw another, a different, seal on his pale skin that made her hands shake and her heart skip a beat. This did not look good. Her abilities only went so far-she was still in training!-and this was well out of her league. She swallowed nervously.

"Well, what are you waiting for? What's wrong?" The blond genin interrupted irritably.

Ignoring him, the kunoichi placed her hands on the patient and they glowed softly with chakra as she fed him what strength she could spare, what small amount he could take. Slowly, the little color he had to begin with returned and his breathing became a touch more normal. She let out a sigh, and noticed Naruto visibly relax and lean back, heaving a sigh of his own. Unfortunately, she knew she was going to have to break that relief with some bad news.

"He should wake up in a little bit," she stated quietly. Then she took a deep breath, readying herself for what she'd have to stay next. "But there's a problem. There's another seal, some kind of jutsu that's draining his energy and preventing him from using any chakra. I've never seen anything like this before." She glanced to her teammate anxiously, not knowing how much to say. Even the chakra she'd just given was already being depleted as they spoke. His condition was worse than she'd let on, but with her still limited knowledge, she wasn't sure exactly what it was. And not wanting to worry Naruto more than necessary, she fought to keep the tremble from her voice. "We'll need to get him to Tsunade-shishou, she's the only one who'll know what to do."

"Then what the hell are we sticking around here for?" Naruto nearly jumped to his feet, draping a thin arm around his shoulder, and his eyes widened momentarily before he furrowed his brow. Then he absently readjusted his friend's weight and started to walk out with an uneasy gait. "Let's get going."

Just as she was wondering whether the blond's behavior meant he suspected something, Sasuke spoke, shocking them both.

"Don't go out there."

The pink-haired girl turned to him, relieved that he was awake, but still painfully aware of their precarious position. "We have to, Sasuke-kun, you need help."

"Stop fighting us." Snapped Naruto unexpectedly. "I'm not letting you trick me into getting involved in your damn drama. You're coming home right now, whether you like it or not."

The raven-haired teen shook his head weakly. "You can't tell me what to do."

He sounded so much like his old self, only more bitter, as though he already knew his refusal was futile. It was fairly obvious he couldn't back it up.

After a moment though, he mumbled angrily under his breath. "Doesn't matter now anyway."

"_What is your problem?" _Naruto spat out, giving a satisfied sneer at the way the raven-haired boy flinched.

But then something unforeseen happened. Sasuke looked up. And glancing up from his vantage point at his friend's shoulder in his weakened state, he forgot to put on his mask. And he just looked so conflicted, so defeated, so like a little lost child that Sakura's breath caught in her throat. Even Naruto was struck mute when he saw the boy's expression. Sakura had never seen him so open before, and that only made her worry more. This was not the Sasuke they knew.

What exactly had happened to him here?

"Why did you even bother coming?" The black-eyed gaze quickly re-established its impassivity and then turned to the emptiness before them. "Just leave me and go."

That apparently shocked the silence right out of Naruto. "What do you mean 'why'd we bother coming'? Idiot! We came to get you, so there's no way we're just gonna leave you here now. And why are you acting so damn weird anyway? Did you get hit in the head or something?"

"I didn't get hit in the head, you moron! I'm just saying I won't be able to help you. And he's been waiting for this. Don't you see?" He shook his head and pursed his lips in frustration. "You'll be better off without me."

"Well, guess what? We don't need your help! And we didn't come all this way to save your sorry ass just to leave you behind! We can handle things on our own, you know! So just shut up!" Naruto shouted in spite, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

But Sakura knew better, her friend was just frustrated and confused. Sasuke's strange behavior was putting them both ill at ease. It was almost sad, the way it looked like he'd just given up, willing to throw his life away. She bit back the tears that lingered on her lashes. She needed to be strong, to be sure in her actions and desicions.

And so she took a pale hand in her own, surprised at how light and frail it felt but quickly hid the surprise from her face. "Just accept it, Sasuke-kun. We're not leaving you here this time, no matter what." She smiled reassuringly. "It's time you came home." And as she looked into his eyes, his expression became unreadable before he shifted his gaze aside.

"Do what you want." The raven-haired boy grumbled in resignation. Sakura smiled. And she inwardly congratulated herself on their one small victory.

Naruto brightened almost immediately and bore a huge grin as he looked over to her. The kunoichi nodded in agreement and the lifted one of Sasuke's arms over her shoulder, to support him between the two of them. She felt a bit unsteady, walking out to the hall relatively unprotected, but it was the only way out. There really were no other choices, and even though she could feel impending doom waiting for them just outside the door, she steeled her nerves and tried to prepare for whatever was to come.

The hall was ominously quiet when they entered, as yet unaffected by the battle that raged above. And it felt, for all intents and purposes, like a tomb to her.

She unwittingly took a step back. Sasuke was right. Something was wrong here, someone was waiting. They shouldn't have come this way.

She was just about to say so when she felt him panic and suddenly grip her arm tightly.

And then there was a sharp jolt on her side as he shoved her away, a large section of the ceiling tumbling down where they had just been and the hall turning to chaos. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the two boys crash against the opposite wall, Naruto flipping them so he took the brunt of the impact. While she was busy dodging a barrage of falling rocks, a huge blast erupted causing further confusion, but she couldn't identify the source. And even though she'd been expecting it, she was still hit, not by the attack, but the aftershock. Then she felt a powerfully unexpected strike against her stomach, throwing her through the wall, breaking it down and somehow landing her back in the room from which they started.

Covered in dust and debris, she faintly heard Naruto cry her name before she passed out.

And in the dreamy stages of unconsciousness, she heard her name again and again like some strange prayer. She wanted so badly to answer, needed so strongly to go to its caller. And so she waged a battle within herself, her mind fighting her body until she finally managed to force herself awake.

"Naruto?" She uttered weakly, clutching her head. But she received no response and numbly realized he probably hadn't even heard her.

Shakily getting to her feet, she tried to regain control of her senses, tried to regain her bearings, reacquaint herself with her surroundings. But all she heard was the rushing in her ears, all she saw was rock and stone. Where once there was a wall, there now was only rubble.

Then she heard it again, her name being called with more desperation this time and she suddenly became desperate herself to find a way out. Looking around, she quickly assessed the best way to escape her fragile confines without causing a worse cave-in. The balance of the area was fragile, one false move could spell disaster. That was just her luck. So stone by stone, rock by rock, she dug a passage through to them, anxious but careful.

Then she heard her name again and she could no longer bring herself to care about the consequences. Mustering up her inhuman strength, she recklessly yanked away the last of the obstruction, causing gravel and dust to fly everywhere. Coughing through the haze, she called out louder this time. "Naruto?"

And once the dust had settled and her eyes blinked out their blurriness, she saw them. The whole of the former hall was in shambles with debris everywhere, but in the center were two boys, silent but for Naruto's broken breathing; the blonde on his knees, the brunette in his lap.

And her instincts told her something had gone irrevocably wrong.

Her heart leapt into her throat, as the possibilties flew through her mind. She didn't know anything, not yet, and until she did, everything was alright. That's what she told herself.

But the brutal reality was, she didn't believe that. And she had to know.

The kunoichi lurched forward, no longer thinking, no longer caring, acting only on her need. Her feet wouldn't move right, her body wouldn't listen, and she tripped and stumbled along the way.

But before she even reached them, Naruto slowly turned his face to her, tears streaming down his whiskered cheeks and a gentle, warm smile on his lips as he spoke quietly.

"It's OK, Sakura," he said.

Tilting her head in confusion, the girl held a questioning but slightly hopeful expression in her soft green eyes. With very hesitant steps, she walked forward until she stood in front of the two.

And then she just looked down.

* * *

Poor Sakura. She's missed everything and doesn't know what happened. Yet. Sorry, but the way these three chapters are meant to go, it had to be that way.  
Moving on . . . 


	8. Chapter 8: Shades of Red

Disclaimer: Naruto not mine

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: And now for Sasuke's oddness. This chapter is a little different, he's quite confused, so there's a lot of thinking. And he's "out-of-it". Obviously a bit OOC. Sorry.  
Who knows if/when I'll finish. Doing some thinking myself. Ah, well. Whatever.  
Again, no grammar or spell check, so probably some mistakes. Also re-uploaded Ch. 7, but only changed very little.

Anyway, this is for DesperateMeasures, because you asked for it. Hope you still like it!

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

Shades of Red

He'd been lost in his darkness a long time. Longer than he could really remember. And at some point he couldn't place, he lay dazed in that oppressive night, staring into his emptiness thinking he had nothing left, nothing to lose or gain, nothing to hold onto.

But then there appeared the red, red, pink.

It had been there all along, but he had stubbornly refused to see it. Even when stupid blonde loudmouth ninjas consumed more of his mind than his brother, he fought it. Even when little annoying green-eyed girls cried and begged, he ignored it. In fact, that's when he needed to escape it the most, had to try to kill it, had to leave it all behind.

The red, red, pink.

He wanted to believe he fought the boy because he had to, wanted to believe he dimissed the girl because he didn't care. He wanted to believe it was easy to leave everything that was once important to him behind. But left with no distractions and only time to think, he found that simple lies didn't hold much power. There was no point in commanding a heart that wouldn't listen.

He'd always assumed his future was formed by vengeance and hate, a red destiny written by death. But perhaps the red of his destiny lay elsewhere, in bonds made thicker than blood and ties grown stronger than hate.

Perhaps his destiny was as a red of the red, red, pink.

And he still wanted his vengeance, still wanted to kill his killer brother, wondering if he did, would Itachi finally see him? But now those goals would remain unfulfilled, his every ambition unattained, leaving him with nothing but a string of regrets. It seemed he'd be forever left isolated in the cold, hollow darkness.

Though maybe that darkness was a better friend than he reckoned. Because it showed him something he'd never seen before, something new. Something that it felt he needed to know.

For the first time in his life he was really alone. Though he'd long been and loner and so often been lonely, he'd never once before been alone. There had always been people there, surrounding him, paying him attention, ignorant and unwelcome perhaps, but still there. This was the first time in his lengthy brief life he truly had no one but himself.

And he realized he didn't like it.

It was a difficult pill to swallow, the need for someone else. But all those he once had paraded through his mind, ghosts who would always haunt him, maybe even into his death. His mother, his father, his family, his friends.

Those two who somehow wheedled their way in.

The girl who made him think, the boy who made him feel. Making him do things he didn't want, things he didn't need, especially not when in the blank darkness. And yet it was now that he saw the truth most clearly. He could see what had been chasing after him all this time, and what he'd been chasing back unknowingly.

There were some places to which you could never return, places you no longer belonged. But he found himself clinging to it anyway. The only real thing he'd ever truly had.

At last he could accept it, at last he was ready.

And though he knew he could never have it, still, he wanted it back.

The red, red, pink.

* * *

He was jolted awake quite suddenly by a sharp clang of metal on stone. Still groggy, still dream-heavy, he slowly lifted his head to see the rude awakener. His eyes half-lidded in an exhaustion that never left, he caught sight of the two, the ever faithful lapdog and its odious owner. 

Then he was hefted ungraciously onto a shoulder, wincing at both the pain of the motion and at his inability to even put up a fight. That irked him more than anything else. He was not one who sat and did nothing, he always fought, even when it was useless, even when he had no chance of winning, he fought. And they'd taken that away. The one thing that stayed with him through everything, his fighting spirit.

No, that wasn't altogether true. The spirit was still there, it was the body that was incapable. And perhaps that was worse. If he'd given up his will, maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely frustrated, so utterly defeated. He narrowed his eyes in anger at the thought. That bastard promised him everything, gave him nothing. Teaching him just enough to keep him, not enough to make him a real threat. And so he remained, holding on to a baseless belief. That, and his stubborn mind refused to admit a mistake.

But that had changed, after them. And he cursed them, for giving him an epiphany when it was no longer any use. Soon he would be the vessel for Orochimaru, and in his state, he was trapped like a rat in a cage. If the snake didn't kill him, the strain surely would.

He was completely useless and he hated himself for it.

Then he realized he was moving, being carried along like a sack of potatoes, down another hall, still deeper into the snake's lair. Through his drowsy, thought-numbed mind, he barely made out the conversation taking place just outside of him.

"But Orochimaru-sama, there's no point in moving him now. Look at him, he can't even walk by himself." The distinct sound of Kabuto's voice echoed in Sasuke's ears. "Before, he would've tried anything to prevent being carried like this. Now . . ."

"Are you questioning my decisions?" Sasuke felt the Sound-nin flinch at the dangerous edge to that voice. "No, he needs to learn his lesson."

The black-haired teen felt sickly cold fingers gently lift his chin so that he would look into the disturbing face of his one-time teacher. He sent a glare of daggers, as menacing as he could produce in his position, the only act of defiance he could make. The man's lips curved into a serpentine smile as his face leaned in closer, his deadly eyes piercing right back. "I do not like that look in his eyes." Then the snake turned to his dog. "If you hadn't let him see that boy, he wouldn't have to suffer like this"

Again, the medic-nin flinched. Sasuke continued to glare, defying in any way he could. He had to add another name to his list of revenge: Orochimaru. But the reality was all he could do was stare and seethe. When he tried to raise his arm to force away the hand on his face, it only twitched and fell limply down. It was absolutely frustrating to be so helpless and a tear sprung up unwillingly in his eye.

The serpent's grin widened in unmitigated amusement. "Oh yes, my dear boy, it will be so much fun to break you."

And suddenly, the hand that had held his chin jumped to his throat and began squeezing painfully like a python's grip. The boy gagged and hacked, choking for a breath he couldn't catch and the tears came more freely now. He couldn't do anything.

_He couldn't do anything_.

The last thing he heard before he finally blacked out was the cruel laugh of an inhuman monster.

When he woke up, it was to a familiar scent, a familiar feel, something he'd thought he'd lost forever. And he didn't know whether to be relieved or furious. He hated to be found in this state, cast aside like trash, unable to even wake himself. It was pathetic, to have to be helped as if he were some newborn baby. He didn't want to be seen like this. It was humiliating.

Again, as though still in his dream, he could catch little snippets from a faraway conversation. "jutsu that's draining his energy . . .Tsunade-shishou, she's the only one who'll know what to do."

Inwardly, he sneered, even the old lady probably couldn't do anything, his fate was now tied to a snake, his coils wound tight around his nonexistent future. And here in his darkness, no matter how much he might secretly want it back, in his heart he knew it would never be. He would never escape the snake, never be able to reclaim a home, never deny what had been done. Even if Orochimaru died and Sasuke lived, the curse seal would be forever on him, if not on his skin, then on his soul. There was no way to escape your past and he knew that better than anyone.

So what was he supposed to do? He wanted it back, he really did, but now that it was here, he felt he didn't deserve it. But he knew he couldn't stay either. He hated being so damn pathetic!

Then he was again lifted, his arm across a warm familiar shoulder, noticing when that person tensed at his side. The uneasiness practically spilled off the boy in waves. Shortly, Sasuke was being dragged along, towards a door that led nowhere and a sudden fear gripped him. He couldn't go back, he couldn't, there's no way he'd be able to face them. Pooling what little energy he had, he forced himself to speak.

"Don't go out there."

He sounded terrible, raspy and old, though the other two didn't seem to notice.

"We have to, Sasuke-kun," He heard the girl say. "You need help."

Then the blonde decided to start yelling. "Stop fighting us. I'm not letting you trick me into getting involved in your damn drama. You're coming home right now, whether you like it or not."

He never liked being bossed around, and for the past however long, that's exactly what had been happening. Everyone always trying to tell him what to do, first his brother, then his "teacher", and now his supposed friend. He was so sick of it. "You can't tell me what to do."

Then somehwere he sensed _him_, lurking in the shadows beyond like the predator he was. None of it made a difference, he was damned either way, into a hell of his own making. "Doesn't matter now anyway."

"What is your problem?" He winced as the idiot shouted straight into his ear, practically shattering his ear drum.

What was he going to do? Stay and be used, leave and be scorned. It really didn't matter anymore, one hell was much like another. He looked up, completely at a loss. He had no choices, but really had he ever? Yes, yes he did. It was his own damn fault if he made the wrong ones. There was nothing to be done about that now. The past is the past and even though he may hate it, even though he may wish to change it, it shapes who he is, forever stalking his every move. He was trapped either way, and it irritated him to think they somehow thought he wasn't. Were they fucking blind!

"Why'd you even bother coming? Just leave me and go."

But Naruto wouldn't accept refusal. "What do you mean 'why'd we bother coming'? Idiot! We came to get you, so there's no way we're just gonna leave you here now. And why are you acting so damn weird anyway? Did you get hit in the head or something?"

"I didn't get hit in the head, you moron! I'm just saying I won't be able to help you. And he's been waiting for this. Don't you see?" Even he knew he wasn't acting his normal self, but that's what happens when you no longer know where you stand in your own life. And was of no importance now, anyway. Why the hell wouldn't they just listen? "You'll be better off without me."

"Well, guess what? We don't need your help! And we didn't come all this way to save your sorry ass just to leave you behind! We can handle things on our own, you know! So just shut up!" So the blonde dobe was angry, so what? What right did he have? Sasuke hadn't asked them come. Sasuke hadn't asked them to risk their lives. Sasuke hadn't said he wanted to go home.

Had he?

Sakura held one of his useless hands on her own strong one and spoke gently. "Just accept it, Sasuke-kun. We're not leaving you here this time, no matter what. It's time you came home."

Maybe there was no use in fighting an apparently losing battle. If they thought they could handle it, then fine. Who was he to care if they got killed in the process? He wasn't a real person anymore, only the shadow of a boy once known as Uchiha Sasuke.

"Do what you want." He could sense them lighten, as if conceding their pointless demand meant something. Then he felt the girl pull his other arm over her shoulder so that he was suspended between them.

Pathetic.

That's what he was.

Live or die, all he was now was an audience member.

Orochimaru would come and they would be killed or by some miracle, the snake would be defeated, but regardless the outcome, the betrayer would still have no place to go. But even so, for just this moment at least he had his other destiny back, and if he were to admit it, he was content.

Then they dragged him out and immediately he felt it, the surge of chakra he'd come to know almost as well as his own, the presence of creatures who'd become his keepers.

On pure instinct, he summoned enough strength to push the girl away from him and out of the path of the crumbling ceiling. At nearly the same time, he was grabbed roughly and jerked out of the way, crashing hard against the wall, a buffer in between by the name of Naruto.

For a moment, he was relieved to see that Sakura seemed unharmed, though she had her work cut out for her, avoiding the cascading debris. There was another shock, hitting them all with its reverberation.

Then again he sensed the spiraling presence, and would have shouted a warning, if only his voice would obey. But the giant ebon tail moved too fast, and hit her forcefully enough in the stomach to send her flying straight through a wall which then caved in after, hiding her from sight.

He barely sensed her weakened chakra, but knew this meant she was still alive. A part of him was relieved to note this, but the rest of his body, too weary from that little effort, simply fell to the ground in a heap. His mind became fuzzy again, only vaguely hearing Naruto shout Sakura's name into the broken cavern.

"Well, that's one out of the way." Slurred a thick, oily voice through the gray smoke.

Sasuke just barely noticed when Naruto snapped his head around to face the new opponent. The raven-haired boy closed his eyes, too weak to even watch anymore. But he still heard the cruel slither of giant snakes as they wound around Orochimaru like some undulating cage. It made him sick.

With an effort, he pushed himself up the wall until he once again was standing, his breathing once more labored, almost too much work to even bother with. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear another battle being waged on the outside of the compound. It was closing in quick, but he couldn't seem to care.

Closer by, while he stood and did nothing, his friend engaged a personal war against the serpent, throwing out everything he had. Sasuke could just make out the sounds of famliar jutsus, each one ending without apparent effect, could hear the crunch of bones as blows were struck. Mostly he heard curses cast by a little blonde genin, who was evidently not faring too well. In his haziness, it was too tiring to try to figure what exactly was happening. All he knew was that Orochimaru was only toying with the boy, cackling as he played his little game.

And all Sasuke could think of was 'why?'

Why fight a losing battle?

Why try to save a murderer?

Why bother trying to reclaim something that had long since been gone?

But maybe he already knew the answer to that.

And all he did was nothing. Useless. Pathetic. Worthless.

_You do not hate enough, little brother_. No, he did not.

He leaned heavily against the stone wall, weak and only half aware of his surroundings. The sound and feel of battle hit him only on the edge of his senses. He was much too weak and tired. But hen he felt 'it' again, that angry red chakra that wanted to swallow Naruto whole. With the little bit of strength he could muster, he reached out and snatched his friend's hand, catching those red-tainted blue eyes with a naked appeal in his own black ones. Sasuke only stared into the blonde's face, demanding without words, making his thoughts known through their strange inexplicable connection. If he was to be dragged back, he was damn well striking that deal with Naruto and the boy would _not_ be using the Kyuubi's power. It seemed silly to be worrying about something like that at a time like this, but to him it was vital. If Naruto were now consumed by the demon fox, then Sasuke would have no reason to go home.

It was a double-edged sword, as everything was between them.

Despite the worried and confused expression the blonde wore, he understood the request and complied, reharnessing the Nine-tails' chakra. Finally having achieved one tiny triumph, Sasuke let go of Naruto, feeling both relieved and vindicated. Until, that is, he felt another, far more sickening force. The chakra of the snake, coiling in rage, preparing to strike his best friend. It seemed he'd had enough playing and was ready to put the game to an end.

He would take the only things the raven-haired boy had left to hold onto: the shades of red.

This is what it meant to break Sasuke.

And though he knew what it meant, that same boy now finally refused to be broken.

He would not just sit by and watch those precious to him be destroyed, not again, not ever.

And maybe for the second time in his life, he did something he wouldn't regret. He reached deep down to the depths of his self, to where it somehow always lay. That last bit of power, the last shred of determination, that last little something he didn't know he had. That tiny reserve that could be pushed to the surface, push him past his limits, make him do things he didn't even know were possible until the situation demanded it.

In a single, lightning fast movement, he was on his feet and in threw himself in the way of the attack meant for his best friend. The pain was quick, but almost dull to his already numbed senses. He'd used the last of what he was in the one action, his body had already gone numb and the throbbing, warm wetness that flowed from his gut was nothing more than an annoyance. He was entirely spent, the everything of Sasuke was gone and he knew in his heart that no matter what they tried, it was over.

Perhaps this was how it was meant to be. Perhaps he was really meant to die on that bridge those three years ago and all this time fate had been hunting him down like a dog. Reminding him of who he really was. Making things right.

And despite himself, he was relieved.

There would be no more hate, no more fighting, no more conflict within himself.

No more denial.

Sasuke could be Sasuke, finally free from all the pressures that weighed on him.

And that was not as horrible thing as he'd once thought. He'd remembered what was most important, even if it was only at the end. And in the process, he'd finally proved himself worth something.

Somewhere he had heard a howl of frustration and somewhere he heard the gentle call of his name. In his mind, he felt a certain satisfaction that he'd managed in some small way to spoil the snake's plans, that he was no longer a tool to be used on someone else's whim. Close to his ear, he could feel the flutter of Naruto's breath as he mumbled frantically little things that made no sense. He doubted his friend even realized he was speaking.

And all he could do was hope that something would happen to make his effort worthwhile. Because the snake was still there and they were even more vulnerable than before. Perhaps somewhere, somebody listened. Because just when there was about to be another attack, this time with nothing held back, the outside battle finally reached them. The remainder of the ceiling crashed in, and soon Orochimaru was pushed back, engaged in a new battle, leaving the boys alone in the crumbling dust of the hall.

The raven-haired boy stayed motionless, letting releif wash over him now that the immediate danger had passed.

"What did you do that for?" An emotion-laden voice said, breaking the heavy silence.

And Sasuke answered as truthfully as he could. Even now, it was hard to say everything. Because I had to." But he shook his head, that wasn't entirely honest. "Because I wanted to."

He knew there was another 'because' in there, but left it unsaid.

Then he felt himself slipping away. Losing his balance, his head fell forward to finally rest lightly on Naruto's collarbone as his hands still sat on his shoulders.

His mind was going fuzzy. Everything seemed to blur away as a darkness began to envelop him. But it was not that same darkness he'd known, not a sharp and bitter darkness. This was a darkness that was soft, warm, almost sweet, one that welcomed and comforted him.

He'd accomplished something. Not what he sat out to do, never had he killed his brother, never claimed his vengeance, never even proved he was stronger than Naruto. But he realized now that all those goals slipped through his fingers the moment he he become a traitor and joined the wrong side. As soon as he made that choice, he'd doomed himself to failure.

But it didn't matter now, a strange realization to his mind. Now he felt the warmth of someone else, felt what it was like to belong, heard the sound of his name, and knew that he was no longer alone. There were those who'd risk their lives for him and whom he'd risk his own for, and now that he saw what that meant, he saw that it was not a bad thing. He only wished he'd seen it before.

But it no longer mattered.

The warm sweet darkness was calling him and so he let himself fall back into it.

* * *

OK, yeah. We'll see what happens. . . 


	9. Chapter 9: Coming Home

Disclaimer: Nope, obviously Naruto is not mine.

Rated: T, for language only

Notes: OK, so I'm finishing because I really hate to just leave things unfinished. But this took longer than I expected because I realized I actually changed quite a bit from when I wrote this and when I wrote Ch. 8. Ah, well.

Warning: major sap ahead and . . . stuff. Sorry! (author buries head and cowers in corner)

And susakuru - you make me blush(!) and . . . well . . .um . . .

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

Coming Home

Naruto was annoyed.

Just before they had gathered for the attack on Orochimaru and his Sound shinobi, Sakura had cornered him, forcing him to make a deal and chastising him for what happened the last time they saw Sasuke. Since it was essentially their job to rescue him, she'd said she wanted no more slip-ups.

Like he needed to be told.

He knew he'd made a mistake, allowed himself to get pulled in once again to Sasuke's little trauma. He knew that he'd allowed the bastard to distract him from the real problem, lured him into a pointless fight in order to avoid his deeper issues. Naruto wasn't stupid, and he didn't like the way Sakura had basically treated him like he was.

He'd already cursed for letting himself get into that fight, he didn't need the kunoichi to remind him. Besides, it was really Sasuke's fault. He was the one in denial, the one who was confused. That idiot was the one who couldn't accept his own reality.

The problem was that Naruto found it all too easy to let his own emotions take over when Sasuke got like that. His old friend could manipulate him so effortlessly, turning something simple into something horrible in an instant.

And so Naruto was angry. The worst part of it was that it was mostly at himself. He'd gotten lost somewhere along the way, forgetting his goal and doing the wrong things time and time again. He hated it. Hated even more that he was the one to blame.

He wasn't going to let it happen again this time.

Because that last little bit of hesitation he'd glimpsed in his friend told him all he needed to know. In the weeks that had passed since then, a lot of things finally made themselves clear in his mind.

Sasuke was resistant, but he was changing. More to the point, he was returning, reverting back to his old self, and maybe better. He was beginning to realize that there was more than one way, that there were people who really did care about him. That he did have a home he could return to. Naruto could tell from that last look in his eyes.

On some hidden level, the idiot finally knew.

They just needed to get him to accept it.

It was time to make good on that three year old promise.

* * *

The blonde genin stood panting, inhaling way too much of the dust floating around in the battle area. He coughed a little and wiped the sweat from his brow. He didn't think he'd ever been more irritated and frustrated than he was at this moment. Each time he tried to get close to Orochimaru, tried to land a hit, some crazy giant snake would get in his way. And no matter how many of the black serpents he dispatched, there was always another one just waiting to take its place.

He scowled friecely at the serpentine sennin that stood staring at him from behind his living wall of reptiles with barely hidden amusement. The bastard seemed perfectly fine while Naruto had already spent a great deal of his personal chakra and stamina in a futile effort. Orochimaru was only messing with him for his own sick enjoyment. The blonde thought that it would be better to have just been beaten to a bloody pulp by his enemy than to look like a fool, wasting his energy with no real results. HIs hatred boiled with him, ready to consume his very being.

"You're not faring too well, kid."

The blonde flashed his eyes down to the little frog that had spoken, sitting safely to the side atop a large piece of rubble. He screwed his face into a disgusted sneer.

"This is your fault." Naruto spat out, needing something to blame. "Why is it every time I try to summon, _you_ answer?"

"Just lucky, I guess."

"Tch! I sure could use some help here." He looked to Sasuke who leaned heavily on the wall, eyes closed, barely able to even to keep breathing and clearly would be no help at all Jerk. Then he thought of Sakura, who was somewhere, trapped behind a pile of rocks and by what little he could tell, she was still likely unconcscious. He was all by himself. This had been a bad plan to start with, and was getting worse by the minute. "I need someone. . . bigger. Like Gamabunta or something."

"He's busy right now."

"Well, go get him then!" Naruto shouted a little more angrily than he'd intended. But he was in tight spot and niceties would just have to fall by the wayside.

"OK!" The frog chirped almost cheerily before poofing away in a puff of smoke. The genin suspected that the frog had only used that as an excuse to be somewhere other than here. He wished he could join him, but with Sasuke barely standing and Sakura essentially out of commision, that really wasn't an option.

Then that snake bastard laughed that sickening laugh of his. "Well, looks like you're left all alone again. Your little friend has left you, such as he was." He titled his head in a distinct reptilian manner. "Of course, you _might_ be able to escape yourself. If you'd just leave your friends behind."

"I'm not gonna do that!" Naruto nearly seetehed at that suggestion. That was something he absolutely, positively would never do.

"No? Well, good. I'd really rather just kill you here anyway. After all, that's why I let you come this far."

What? Naruto shook his head in an attempt to clear it. Orochimaru had let them in? As much as he hated to admit it, that would go to explaining a lot. How they'd entered so easily, met little resistance, and had seemingly just been able to walk out with Sasuke in tow. It was all a trap to begin with, but he didn't care. It didn't really matter. All he knew is he sure as hell wasn't going down without a fight.

Naruto stared down Orochimaru with as much of his own hate and venom as he could muster, which was quite a lot. That asshole had put them through so much, so much pain, so much suffering, so much of things he didn't need any more of. His anger swelled within him as he crouched down, Kyuubi's chakra swirling around him. Whatever was to happen next was out of his control, and he didn't much care anymore.

But then he felt a pressure around his wrist, a hand gripping it tightly and glanced over to see Sasuke, though obviously weak and barely conscious, reaching out to him with all he had. The black-eyed gaze was angry and pleading, conveying all he meant to say without words. And somehow Naruto understood. Their deal had been struck. Apparently if he was to bring his friend home, he was going to have to get them out of here without the use of the fox. It was a terrible bargain, he knew, but leave it to Sasuke to make things more difficult than they needed to be. Even so, Naruto let the red chakra settle down. He watched as Sasuke fell back to his place against the wall, looking to have spent all his meager energy The blonde furrowed his brow in concern. There was no way that boy would be helping him, and all he could think was that he wished Sakura would wake up soon. He glanced over to where she should be.

And did the one thing he'd promised not to do.

He got distracted.

It all happened too fast to fully register what was going on until it was already done. Orochimaru had essentially vomited up a sword and headed straight for the blonde, ready to strike. Naruto felt the sudden sharp jolt when it hit, jarring his body, nearly knocking the breath from his lungs it was so powerful. And he could only imagine how it would have felt if it had really hit him since his experience was only secondhand.

In dazed shock he saw an all-too-familiar sight as Sasuke, his best friend, had somehow managed to jump in the way, taking the attack meant for him. The raven-haired boy was facing him, head-lowered, his hands holding tightly to Naruto's shoulders, as he struggled for air. Naruto's mouth opened and closed in shock, trying to say somethng, but only making confused, pointless noises.

This couldn't be happening. Not again. Not after everything. This was just a bad dream. Or a genjutsu. Yeah, that was it, he was never very good at genjutsu, so he'd missed one being cast again. That was definitely it. It had to be.

But the frustrated howl he heard emanate from the snake sennin proved him wrong.

Naruto watched as Orochimaru whipped his blade out and to the side, sending a wide spray of blood to cast itself on the ground. The sennin then clenched his teeth and began to back away, almost calmly. "If this how you insist on having it, so be it."

But Naruto wasn't really listening. His hands came up to hold Sasuke's arms in a desperate attempt to keep them both steady. He felt himself shaking, losing his balance, losing his footing on the solid stone. And he sensed more than saw when Orochimaru summoned his giant snake, intent on taking his revenge for his own mistake. The black serpent leaned back, ready to attack, or pull Sasuke away, or try to swallow them both, Naruto didn't know and for the moment, he was too stunned to think straight. Everything was happening too damn fast.

He had to stop this horrible play, had to do something before Orochimaru killed them all. He knew this, he did, and yet he couldn't make his body obey. Silently, he prayed for a miracle.

And for once, his prayers were answered.

This side wall came suddenly crashing down beside them, the debris narrowly missing the two Leaf shinobi in the hall as Jaraiya made his appearance riding atop Gamabunta. Naruto payed little attention to his teacher and his massive frog, and they didn't seem to notice him either. Oddly and for no logical reason, Naruto realized that that stupid frog had actually done what he had asked. And for the moment at least, they were saved. Then the ero-sennin fully attacked his old teammate, pushing their enemy away until Naruto and Sasuke remained in the hall alone, lost in a sea of rock and stone.

For a while, the two stood there, as the noise gradually receeded and all that was left was the distant sound of battle and the hiss of their breathing. And Naruto was so afraid to move, so afraid to do anything, that he just stayed there, letting his confused mind run wild.

He should be doing something, but the horrible, sinking feeling took him over, leaving him with nothing but unwanted thoughts. And somehow he seemed to forget what it was he needed to do. Instead, he felt himself starting a conversation that was both pointless and vital.

"Why would you do that?" The blonde finally choked out.

Sasuke replied, surprising Naruto with his candor. "Because I had to." Then the raven-haired teen shook his head. "Because I wanted to."

That was a stupid answer! And one that worried Naruto more than he would willingly admit. The blonde noticed the war now being waged between another set of old friends only at the very perimeter of his mind. Vaguely, he noted that he was simply standing in the hall with Sasuke, rather than doing anything productive, and yet still he remained there, struck motionless.

Then Sasuke's head slowly leaned forward to rest his forehead almost gently on the blonde's shoulder. His whole body seemed to collapse inward, sagging like a deflated balloon, and Naruto panicked.

Grabbing his friend's shoulders, he shook with as much force as was safe until he finally felt life and awareness return to him. Naruto couldn't let the other boy fall asleep, that much he knew, he had to keep him conscious and talking until Sakura came to help. Besides, he needed an answer to his question, better than 'because'. It was important, it was really important. It was idiotic to be asking questions like this now, but Naruto refused to accept why.

"That's not an answer, you bastard! I already told you I didn't need your help. _Why did you do it?"_

Naruto could feel Sasuke's smirk against his shoulder. "Haven't we had this conversation before? I hate having to repeat myself."

"You didn't have to do anything, you idiot!" Naruto spoke sharply, yet hiccuping. They _had_ had this conversation before and the whole situation was way too reminiscent. "I could've healed myself, you know."

His hands on the blonde's shoulders, Sasuke gripped fiercely one minute more. "I guess I forgot." He clung on with what seemed like desperation, and the genin hoped this was an indication of Sasuke's will to live. "But I just couldn't sit there and watch."

"Sakura!" With hope in his mind, Naruto tried to drag his barely conscious friend to where Sakura should be, but the boy stubbornly resisted moving, acting as a weight that tied them both to the spot. Sasuke, for whatever reason, was refusing to budge and Naruto chose to stay with him, not wanting to aggravate his wounds any more than was necessary. All he could do was keep the conversation going as long as possible until Sakura arrived.

"Don't you fall asleep on me. Not after all this, I'm not letting you take a nap. " The blonde laughed nervously, shaking the other boy gently. "You've been napping almost this whole time. Do you realize how much Sakura and I had to go through because of you, you jerk?"

Sasuke rasped out his next words. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

Naruto anxiously bit his lip, he didn't know what to do. Sasuke was acting way too compliant and that only bode ill. He once more shouted Sakura's name, but was still met with nothing. A tense silence surrounded the boys and Naruto frantically went over the options in his mind. Should he try harder to drag Sasuke over to Sakura, or was it better not to move him? Maybe he should lay him down to try and dig the medic-nin out, but that would leave Sasuke wholly unprotected. He wasn't a medic, dammit! He was desperately trying to stay calm in a situation completely out of his control.

"What's the matter?" The raven-haired boy surprisingly wheezed out. "Why so quiet, dobe?"

Naruto's body tensed at the gentle use of the old insult. What was he supposed to say, what was he supposed to do? His confusion and shock froze him, effectively sealing their fate.

"I-I've got lots to say," He started brokenly. "I'm just having a hard time deciding which thing to say first."

He felt Sasuke's body shudder slightly as he let out a harsh laugh. But it quickly turned to wracking spasms as the black-haired teen choked, spattering Naruto's chest with a generous amount of blood.

Too much blood.

The blonde's eyes grew wide as his breath caught and his legs finally gave way, causing the two boys to tumble gracelessly to the floor.

Sasuke now lay uncerimoniously in his lap, blood still trickling from his open mouth, his eyes looking up to the blonde half-lidded and dazed. Dread gripped Naruto, clenching painfully in his chest as he saw the gaping hole in his old friend's abdomen. Quickly, he pressed his hands over the wound, feeling large amounts of blood seep lazily through his fingers. It was worse than he'd thought, the boy shouldn't be conscious, he shouldn't even be alive!

The violet eyes darted from one friend to where the other should be frantically. He needed Sakura. NOW.

"Sakura! Sakura!" He shouted with every thing he had, his voice growing hoarse.

"Don't worry, Naruto." Sasuke whispered and the blonde looked down into his blank face. "There's no point in fighting it now." He slowly closed his eyes. "I'm sick of fighting."

"Don't you say that! Don't you dare say that!" Naruto clamped his hands down further, waging a war against a losing battle. "You'd better fight, you fucking bastard! You can't do this to us again."

Sasuke managed a weak smirk. "You can't tell me what to do."

"Yes I can!" Naruto snapped. He could feel the boy's heartbeat slowing, his breathing become less and less. _Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod_... What else could he do? He was losing him! He couldn't lose him, not now, not like this. Bravely, he fought back his tears, fought back the sobs in his chest and plastered a silly smile to his face.

"See, you can't die here. You said so yourself. You can't die until you kill Itachi."

"Doesn't matter anymore." _Doesn't matter!_ This was bad, this was very bad. It was a struggle for him to continue, the blonde could see it clearly, and yet he still did, fighting for every word. "After everything I sacrificed, everything I went through, I'm still this weak. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be."  
"How can you say that? You're under a seal, it doesn't count!"

"Doesn't matter." He was giving up! The bastard was giving up!

Naruto called out to Sakura even louder, he couldn't let this happen! Finally, he could feel a change in her chakra. It seemed she was awake. He took this as a hopeful sign and tried to pry Sasuke from his listlessness. "And what about restoring your clan, huh? You can't do that if you're dead."  
"Didn't I already give that up?" The genin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Everything was so wrong. It was like he'd been transported to some cruel mirror world of his own. Sasuke was so quiet that Naruto had to strain to hear what he said next.

"Besides, all that's left of the Uchiha is a murderer and a traitor." The benighted boy almost smiled. "Are you sure that's a clan that even deserves to be restored?"

None of this could be right. This was not the way things were supposed to be. The whole situation was both terrifying and infuriating Naruto.

"Of course it does! You're not acting like yourself. Stop being such a damn coward!" Unable to keep control any longer, the blonde collapsed, his head leaning on Sasuke's chest as he held him carefully. He could feel his face and hair begin to stain red with the flow of Sasuke's blood. He almost winced when the other boy slowly raised his hand to rest on the back of his blonde head.

Naruto yelled again, this time right into Sasuke's chest. "SAKURA!" He knew it was in vain, there was nothing she could do now. But she should be there when he died.

Because that's all they were doing, the two of them, sitting in the middle of a distant battle, waiting for him to die.

"I used to be a coward, maybe." Sasuke then whispered close to Naruto's ear. "But I don't think so anymore."

"Yes you are!" Naruto said, clutching his friend tightly as if he could will the world right. "You're just doing this so you don't have to go home and face whatever's waiting there! I thought Uchiha Sasuke never backs down! You big chicken!"

Sasuke let out a short laugh that was filled with blood. Almost tenderly, Naruto looked over and wiped away a trail of the red liquid that leaked from the dying boy's mouth. "Y-you shouldn't do that." He murmured.

"It's your fault."

It was said teasingly, but the truth of it hit home. And all the guilt Naruto had pushed to the sidelines came flooding back with a vengeance. It _was_ his fault. If he'd just been a better friend, if he'd just looked closer, if he'd just been stronger, _if he just wasn't so selfish to see his best friend needed him!_ "Sa-sasuke, I'm sorry. I should have . . ."

"Naruto?" At last he heard a response from the girl, and he could hear her as she tumbled her way to them, tripping over the rubble in the corridor. He was about to call out to her when something stopped him.

There was a desperate need in the sudden grip of fingers in his hair, and the blonde turned his head to look into Sasuke's dark, clouded eyes. There were tiny tears there, slowly trickling out when he spoke. "It was my choice. All of it was always my choice." Violet eyes opened wide as he looked down into the mysterious black ones. "You understand what I'm saying?" And Naruto nodded because he somehow _did_ understand. They both needed their forgiveness now.

"I'm . . ." Naruto tried to speak, but Sasuke's hand on the nape of his neck clutched him even tighter, preventing him from finishing.

HIs voice was barely a whisper, forced through a throat filled with blood. "Tell Sakura?"

Naruto agreed wordlessly and the shadowed eyes gently closed as Naruto sat up, still fighting the tears that held themselves just barely in check. And in the few moments it took Sakura to reach them, he felt it. The last breath came and Sasuke stilled. Naruto kept one hand on the wound that no longer bled, using the other to brush away some stray strands of black hair that had fallen over the boy's face. He looked down at his silent friend, and at last the tears came.

Sakura had almost reached them when Naruto looked over to her with a gentle smile, the tears streaming over his whisker cheeks. "It's OK, Sakura."

Hope and confusion flickered across her face as she walked up to meet them. But it didn't last for long.

It took only a moment for her to see the truth. Losing all strength, she fell to the ground, broken by the scene laid out before her. She placed her hands on Sasuke's inert chest, infusing them with chakra, futilely trying to feed it to the motionless boy. She kept trying and trying, over and over, as if she somehow could perform the jutsu that would save him. But nothing changed.

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, unable to watch her anymore. So he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook sharply, trying to rouse her from her crazed denial. "Sakura! Stop it! Stop!"

She ignored him. So finally he took hold of her wrists, ripping her hands up and holding them to either side of her head, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Sakura . . ." Was all he could bring himself to say. He watched in bleak horror as she noticed the blood now dripping from the palms of her hands.

Once again her gaze returned to the boy laying down before her, and she now could not deny it anymore.

There was nothing she could do. Sasuke was gone.

Wrenching free of Naruto's grasp and throwing herself onto the still teen, little caring for the blood that stained them all, she sobbed wantonly, letting her many tears seep into his clothes. Naruto gently placed his hand on the back of her head, stroking the pink hair soothingly as weeping wracked her body.

"It's OK, Sakura." He said, letting his own tears stream down his face, still petting her head in a strange form of comfort.

"How can you say that! It's not OK! Nothing is OK!" She screamed every word through a veil of sobs, viciously clinging to the motionless body underneath her. "What is wrong with you! Sasuke is . . ." But she couldn't make the next words come out.

"Don't cry like that, Sakura." Naruto said gently, cradling her face in his hands and turned it up to face him. "Don't you see?"

She lifted her watery green eyes up to him in sad confusion, but he just smiled down sweetly at her. Then he gestured with his own eyes for her to look to Sasuke's face. Through her grief, though now puzzled too, the young girl turned her eyes in that direction. And she saw what Naruto had already known was there. Devoid of hate or anger, confusion or sadness, the boy's expression held not a smirk or sneer, instead showing the barest hint of a genuine smile. The first he'd worn since he was a little child. And like a child, and despite the blood that stained him, he looked as though he were simply sleeping, peaceful and sweet.

Sakura returned her gaze to Naruto and wiped a tear from her eye. She was crying still, but her sobs were mixed with a gentle nervous laughter as she looked back into the blonde's tear-stained smiling face. Naruto nodded again and then reached out to take her in his arms and and hug her tightly. The two held each other quietly over their long-lost friend, his blood coloring their skin and clothes. And they allowed themselves to cry for what had been lost, but also for what had been gained.

And somewhere else, what seemed like far away, a battle raged.

But the members of Team Seven sat silenty, reunited at last, bathed in red as the world crumbled down around them.

Because they now knew it was over at last.

Long ago, Naruto had promised to bring Sasuke home.

And finally, he had.

* * *

Heh-heh. Ahem. And because we can't just leave it like that . . .Chapter 10. 


	10. Epilogue: For They Shall Be Comforted

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Aren't you glad?

Notes: And finally, the pay-off for the title.

Warning: more sap ahead.

* * *

Blessed Be Those Who Mourn

For They Shall Be Comforted

The angry buzzing of the alarm interrupted his pleasant dreams and taking that as a personal affront, he slammed down hard on it with his fist. Protesting such treatment with a few pathetic last beeps, the clock finally petered out and died.

When the sunlight hit his face, he pulled the sheets over his head in an attempt to block it out. He really didn't feel like getting up just yet, he was having such a good dream . . .

But then he heard the noises of morning outside, reminding him that the day had arrived and he had things to do and more importantly, people to meet. So he rubbed his eyes, yawned a great yawn, and stretched his back before rolling himself out of bed.

Still stretching, he slowly walked to the bathroom. Looking at himself sleepily in the mirror, he couldn't help but smile because today was one he'd been looking froward to for a long time. He swept the hair from his eyes with his fingers almost absently while he brushed his teeth. Then he got into the shower, allowing the cool water to wash away the last dregs of sleep that held him.

Back in the bedroom, he got dressed, paying careful attention that for once he really looked that part he meant to play. Even though he was now a jounin, he still found a way to wear at least a tiny touch of his favorite orange. He carefully tied and adjusted the hitai-ate around his foerhead, making sure it was straight and sharp. And as he sat on the edge of his bed, a glint off an object on his bedside table caught his eye. Reaching over, he took into his hand allowing a sad sweet smile grace his lips as he once again looked at the item he knew so well.

He always faced it due east at night so when morning came the rays of the sun would light it up. There were many things he held valuable in his home, gifts from his new friends, things that reminded him of those he loved, and of course that old hitai-ate that made it all possible. But this one, old simple object would always be his most precious, the one he held closest to his heart.

Looking at it always brought so many memories both good and bad, each the more sweet by comparison to the other. And as horrible as some of them were, he wouldn't trade a one, each memory was a step that brought him closer to today.

Those were some of his best and worst days, his time as a member of Team Seven. Gently, he glided his fingers over the glass that housed the picture of them as they stood together so many years ago.

Each one of them taught him so much about each other, about himself, about life. They were in their way his most important lessons, his most valuable knowledge, without them he could never be where he was today. Determination and self confidence were all well and good, but they were not enough. In order to achieve anything of importance you needed friends, family, you needed to not be alone. He'd first learned that from Iruka, but it was through them that he'd learned the darker side, the tougher side of love.

And despite it all, he was grateful.

First he looked to the tall, gray-haired strange masked jounin in the back. Kakashi. He'd been the one who'd really taught him about teamwork, that you can't do everything alone. That you needed to trust others, learn from them and understand them. The jounin had made him see that it was OK, even necessary to rely on others. It was because of him that he first saw that real strength comes from working together and accepting both what you can and can't do. It was the acceptance of that which led to his eventual ties to the other two in the photograph.

And there was the second member, a pink haired-girl with the big green eyes whom he once fancied a crush on. Sakura. He remebered when they first met as part of the same team and she said that she hated him more than anything. But there was nothing like that between them now, in all the years that had passed, in all their time they'd spent together, she'd become one of his closest friends. Her lessons were a little different, in some ways they were more about her changes than his. From her he'd learned that someone who once hated you could turn to love you, that certain things, feelings up at the top, could alter. That given the chance, people would and could look beyond the surface and see him for who he really was, and not who they presumed him to be.

Then he looked to the last. He was the one who'd taught his most painful lessons. He was the one whom he'd both loved and hated the most, the one he'd understood the best and yet never understood at all. His best friend, his greatest rival, the one he'd always been closest to, even now, there was none to which he'd felt that strong a bond. Sasuke. There was always a certain amount of regret in his heart when he looked at him. He was the one he'd lost, the one he'd saved, the one who'd hurt him more than he'd once believed possible. The one who above all showed him that bonds do not just bring comfort and happiness, but pain and sorrow as well. And as much as he hated realizing this, he knew it was something he'd needed to know. He'd shown him there were many kinds of pain, many kinds of betrayal, many things from which we need to be saved. From enemies, from loneliness, from hate, from vengeance, from pain, from sorrow. He'd shown him that sometimes the thing we need saving from most is ourselves.

And he'd shown him that no matter how far we fall, no matter how much we embrace our demons, even the most lost and hopeless can be rescued.

But perhaps most of, the most difficult and comforting lesson he'd learned was that the dead do not just disappear. They leave their mark on those they'd known, by the way they died but much more by the way they lived. Sasuke was no longer here, but he wasn't gone. Sometimes he could swear he could still hear him, a voice in the wind, there a moment and then gone. Sometimes he could feel him, standing beside him, like a chill in the air that slowly warms. But mostly he just knew he was there because he'd left his mark, there in his heart and memory.

The dead do not leave us, they just move their home.

He smiled when he thought of this. It had been years since Sasuke had died, and the pain was still there but it no longer hurt. It was a dull, almost gentle pain that he didn't mind. In fact, in his way, he treasured it for the strength and understanding that it ultimately gave him.

Just as he was about to place the picture frame back to the table, he heard an angry pounding on his door.

"Naruto! What are you doing! If you don't hurry up, you're gonna be late!"

Oh, Sakura. Wait, how long had he been sitting there? Quickly putting the picture frame down due west so that the sun would be hitting it when he returned, he jumped up from the bed. Heading to the door, the banging and yelling contined.

"Come on, I know you're in there. And there's no time for this! Get out here now!"

He flung the door open just as the kunoichi was about to punch it down in a very unladylike manner. Unable, or uncaring, to stop herself, she ended up hitting him in the head instead.

"Hey, Sakura, that hurt." He said playfully while rubbing an imaginary bump, a big grin on his face.

"Yeah, right. On that thick skull? I doubt it, " she replied, smiling back. "You better move it."

"I know, I know, I'm coming." As fast as possible, he bent over to put his sandals on.

"So what were you doing that took so long?" The pink-haired woman crossed her arms and took a curious look around the well-lived in apartment."I thought you were really looking forward to today."

"I am." Finishing with his shoes, Naruto stood up, smile still in place but a softer slightly sad one. "I was just remembering."

Sakura's face then changed to wear an expression very similar to his own for she was familiar with 'remembering' as well. It had been a long time since the battle in the land of Sound. Many shinobi had fallen that day from both sides and eventually Orochimaru himself was defeated. But for these two, there was one death they would always recall above all others. Warmly she rubbed his back in understanding and gestured with her head that they should go.

"Yeah, I'm coming," He said, doing any last minute adjustments to his uniform.

"So, do you know whose on the team you get to train yet?" The medic-nin asked curiously.

Naruto stood up tall, a wide fox grin once again in place. "Yup. And I'm really excited! They sound like they'll be a lot like us when we first started."

Sakura scrunched her nose in disgust. "Ugh. That doesn't sound good. I hope they're not."

The blonde jounin tilted his head, looking at her seriously with his clear blue eyes. "Really?" Then he gazed wistfully out into the distance. "Well, I hope they are."

The woman took his meaning and gently brushed his arm comfortingly. "We'd better leave or you'll be late. Do you want to be like Kakashi-senssei?"

Naruto stuck out his tongue in a very mature way and Sakura rolled her eyes as she turned to leave.

Just before following, the blonde jounin leaned his head back into his home one last time.

"Good bye, " The blond man said to no one in particular. "I'll see you later."

And then he closed the door.

"Hurry it up, will you?" Sakura yelled from where she stood in the street, now really losing her patience. "We don't have all day!"

"Coming!" And with that, he ran to catch up.

It just wouldn't do for him to be late for his very first day with his new team.

Later the night, just before the sun completely set, it shone its last rays of light on one lone picture on one lone table, then dipped beneath the horizon and disappeared.

* * *

Well, that's it, I'm done. This whole thng was way too stressful! Especially the end. I know, I am, in fact, evil. And I don't think I'll ever write another multi-chapter Naruto fic. Though, I suppose you never know. 

And thanks to koriaena, MommyRogers, Magical Poof, susakuru, WolfBane2, Tanuki-dono, and DesperateMeasures - my only reviewers. (sniffle) You're all very sweet and I appreciate it. But this was such a strangely designed story, I'm really not surprised. Ah, well.  
To whoever has read this story, even if you liked only one scene, it makes me happy.  
Hope you did.

Oh, and I fixed those mistakes, thanks koriaena! Gee, I really need to get a better writing program . . .


End file.
